• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

The Monogamy Pledge

Status
Not open for further replies.
I actually believe that people who have a good grasp on submission and what it is have been very patient. I think part of the problem is that some people see the word submission and red lights go off in their brain.

I have repeatedly explained that submission and force are not the same and that submission is an attitude of a woman not something to be pried out of her hands until her last breath. Submission is a gift a woman gives to a man when they marry and it is a valuable gift that a Godly man respects and cherishes from his wife. It is not something to be dealt with an iron fist but something to be protected and loved greatly.

As a woman, when I chose to marry my husband, I gave him my life. That means that I trusted him and God enough to place my life in their hands. I trust God to guide my husband in leading our family and I trust my husband to follow God's leading.

SweetLissa
 
sweetlissa said:
I actually believe that people who have a good grasp on submission and what it is have been very patient. I think part of the problem is that some people see the word submission and red lights go off in their brain.

I have repeatedly explained that submission and force are not the same and that submission is an attitude of a woman not something to be pried out of her hands until her last breath. Submission is a gift a woman gives to a man when they marry and it is a valuable gift that a Godly man respects and cherishes from his wife. It is not something to be dealt with an iron fist but something to be protected and loved greatly.

As a woman, when I chose to marry my husband, I gave him my life. That means that I trusted him and God enough to place my life in their hands. I trust God to guide my husband in leading our family and I trust my husband to follow God's leading.

SweetLissa
Click to expand...

I like it when you talk like that ;) ...that's my baby!
 
Faithful Servant wrote:
Regarding Mary Ella's recent post,

We are All told to test the spirits and line up all of our life's plans against scripture & God's will for us! That privlage to do so, is not just exclusive to men.[
Click to expand...
Excuse me Tele-Caster If I have and NEVER will say that woman can't test the spirt such rubish attached to my name.


I must tell you in my personal unfortunately plenty experience (in person not on the internet) here out side of the compounds I find wives that are at the heart of imbalance in these types of relationships. Modern men all wrapped up in hearing there wives feels (soooooo important) that they lose the balance of the home and a wife runs the show based on her emotions. We can see this in Monogamist relationships just as much. Christ to the church is a big deal. A huge deal. I don't even want to talk about how rude and piggish men can be. F.S
with the only motivation being the desire of another sexual partner!
Click to expand...
But if I marry a man with a wife I sure want him to want to sleep with me. I want there to be a little attraction there. Sometimes I think that wives forget what there husbands were like when they first met them and how they responded to one another. Luke warm verses Cold is a huge issue in a christians lives it deserves it's own topic really. I can see a ministry in reviving the already saved. It's a sad thing but a true thing. All across the board monogamist, celibate, polygamist alike christians need to be on fire for god. God is the star of the show. There are some passages in Isah that are calling my name to look up and read and study and remember. If anyone can recall what is at the tip of my fingers bless feel free to add. This is all fading anyway. Lest our marriages be adultery we must first and foremost take care of our relationship with god. Which can be done communally or individually or both.
Only for F.S I have told a man almost word for word what you wrote F.S. I have also had a man I new for years propose to me and shortly after banish his wife to the couch, almost make her lose her job and fire me for joking during a movie. You see we weren't taking him seriously so we were being disobedient. Ya I know how men can be.
M - ella
Tele-Caster
[quoteHowever that is not the point I have been trying to make][/quote] I am quite certan that this wasn't from god. I made a complety diffrent point and she acted like she was the final word so I was there for speaking to her derectly and she needed to imform me that it wasn't her point I got her point and she didn't like mine!!

F.S wrote
[/quote]and I know others have confirmed with me that they understand, and have some of the same shared thoughts and concerns as well.
Ya me too in a previous private message but originally didn't want to flaunt it but your friends are smearing my name here.



Mary-ella
Click to expand...
 
I have gotten totally lost in this line of conversation.

Lissa, I think that the reason that Christian women in our culture see red at the mention of the word submission is because they assume that the submissive role is the LESSER role. This couldn't be farther from the truth, but of course Satan does not want Christian women to see the importance and value of the submissive role. I think that one of the most important purposes of being submissive is for the children. I'm sure you've heard that children learn 80% by what we model for them and only 20% by what we say or tell them. (I swear with my teenage son those numbers don't quite pan out...I think he hears the WAH WAH WAH of the teacher on Charlie Brown..). In any case, the mother is the person who is at home with the children in most cases modeling obedience and good behavior while the father is at work. What a valuable, important task. The value in the family of having obedient children cannot be underestimated. I have seen in a family member's family how having even one chronically disobedient child can ruin the peace and atmosphere in the home...and having to constantly discipline and redirect a disobedient child is exhausting.

I remember telling my son back when he was a strong willed two year old.."Ok, kid...we can do this the easy way or the hard way!" I think that we make it easy for our children to honor, respect and obey their father when it comes naturally because it has been modeled by their mother. I think it's also true that children learn to honor and love their mother (and their future wife) by observing the father truly love and cherish the mother.

I don't know if any of this made sense or if I explained my thoughts exactly how I meant to, but this was just what I was thinking about while reading these posts.
 
Made sense to me, Love. If the man's main task in life is to portray God in the physical world through the roles of husband and father, then the woman's main task would seem to be to portray Christ or perhaps the church in the physical world through the roles of wife and mother.

That whole submission gift thing becomes wonderfully important, as it models Christ's dependent intentional submission to the Father, and our (the church's) joyful submission to the leading of Christ!

Elsewhere in this site there was a discussion about the difference between submissive and submitted. I propose that the latter is the ideal, where a person fully able to make choices on their own nonetheless chooses to take their place supportively in an organization, rather than the former which implies a character or personality which would prefer to avoid the responsibility of choice.
 
I think another reason that women see red at the word submission is that many Christian men feel it is their duty to make their woman submit instead of accepting their submission as a gift. A relative of mine, when married to her first husband, was forced to lay out her husbands clothes for the next day, to wash him when he bathed and to make his lunch every day before he went to work. He then proceeded to ridicule everything she tried to do and would not help with their 4 children whatsoever.

I believe that, left to her own devices, she would have gladly done these things for him, if he had only asked her or told her he would like it. But since he demanded it, it took away her ability to give them as a gift.

SweetLissa
 
I will try to keep this on topic so its not deleted....but I have to agree with with Lissa. Everyone has a love language and its important to meet that in your mate. My wife likes words of kindness and gifts. I am very different, mine is acts of kindness(not gifts). The one thing she does for me is there is always ice tea made for me. I drink alot of tea and thats one thing she does for me. You can tell me all day long you love me but I need to see it in your actions....words are cheap to me. Now my wife likes gifts, on her birthday I got her a dozen roses with an I love you so much card. Now a dozen roses has no value to me but it does to her and since I do love her and thats a way to prove it to her I do that. Its about making your wife feel loved and secure. Also, she should be appreciated and rewarded for being a submissive and Godly wife. I also know in my marriage that close intimacy and love making are crucial to making her feel secure. A woman wants to be made loved to and not a sex toy. I took the pledge but my wife has released me from that and yes I believe a vow can be released for Jesus said what is bound on earth is bound in heaven and whats loosed on earth is loosed in heaven. How can you loose something never bound?? I think to wrap this up I would say the communcation is the key and a deep desire to love and please each other. Without that I don't think you will ever get far. I know I am thankful for my submissive wife and I really don't deserve her...but selfish me wants another one to love and adore and see the 2 wives have a bond of love between them. It amazes me how much my wife desires this now...Lissa you are right...love her and appreciate her ....look out for her best interests...make her feel a queen and she will have no problem submitting to you.
 
I truly believe that as long as it is not a sin, there is nothing we should not do to please our mates. I know that there are certain foods that hubby likes and dislikes. As a woman who wants to please her husband, why wouldn't I fix those foods that he likes and avoid those that he doesn't like. Same with laundry. I know that he likes things hung up a certain way, why wouldn't I do what I can to please him? On the other hand, if he knows that certain things please me (or make life easier) why wouldn't he do that?

I actually think there is an element of submission from both directions. (No I am not a feminist in any way.) But when a husband goes out of his way to please his wife then isn't that a loving form of submission? When the husband says words that he knows will soothe her and when he uses compliments to encourage her? To me, if those are ways to make your spouse happy, why wouldn't you do them. Don't you want your spouse to be happy?
KScouple mentioned love languages and I think we would all do well to learn the love language of our spouse (and sister/wives) to make our lives together more loving and fulfilling.

SweetLissa
 
sweetlissa said:
I truly believe that as long as it is not a sin, there is nothing we should not do to please our mates. I know that there are certain foods that hubby likes and dislikes. As a woman who wants to please her husband, why wouldn't I fix those foods that he likes and avoid those that he doesn't like. Same with laundry. I know that he likes things hung up a certain way, why wouldn't I do what I can to please him? On the other hand, if he knows that certain things please me (or make life easier) why wouldn't he do that?

I actually think there is an element of submission from both directions. (No I am not a feminist in any way.) But when a husband goes out of his way to please his wife then isn't that a loving form of submission? When the husband says words that he knows will soothe her and when he uses compliments to encourage her? To me, if those are ways to make your spouse happy, why wouldn't you do them. Don't you want your spouse to be happy?
KScouple mentioned love languages and I think we would all do well to learn the love language of our spouse (and sister/wives) to make our lives together more loving and fulfilling.

SweetLissa
Click to expand...

As Lissa knows, I firmly believe and teach "Servant Leadership" (not that I am perfect at it, but it begins with acknowledging it as a truth). The husband to is love his wife as Christ loves the Church. In it's basic form this means that he needs to make decisions that best serve his wife/wives and family, not his self-centered flesh. Too many leaders believe it is all about them. Now, this concept is much bigger then what it first seems on the surface, however. For example, Christ obviously loved and served His disciples, but he did not allow the disciples to "rule over him". Jesus received clear directions from the Father and led the disciples towards that vision. Jesus did not lead them towards His personal vision, but He led them after the vision that the Father had given Him. So, lvoing one's wife as Christ loves the church does not mean that the wife gets her way as some think. It means that as the husband responds to the vision Christ has for his family, he intentionally moves his family towards that vision. On the other hand, for a husband to love his wife as Christ loves the Church is do everything in his power to meet his wife/wives needs by "washing their feet" on a daily basis, which requires intentionality - it just doesn't happen automatically!
 
Sweetlissa & Kscouple,

Thank you, as you both have made my point. :) That's all I've ever said, as again I've Never said that women of God should not be submissive to Yeshua or their dh's. Cecil and others have made good points, as I've stated the same things. Submitting to Yeshua and the dh's that He's placed over us as our Spiritual protective, loving covering and a Godly authority in our lives! :) When have I ever said it's ok for women to whine, manipulate or keep their dh's from any Godly calling? If ya really read my shared thoughts in proper context, I've Never suggested those actions or behaviors of wive's to their dh's on any level. I was only speaking of one's hearts motives, their Attitudes and Approach to pm in relationship to the wife of their youth, especially in the beginning of their new journey of pm. What's un-Godly or un-submissive about this approach? NOTHING! Others have made the same point that these issues are indeed important to be discussed, studied and prayed about together as a couple seeking Yeshua's will for their family. And Yes in the whole process, we wives should follow our dh's lead and final decision in all things. Is there a problem with this?

Sorry Mary ella if you feel I've attacked you on any level, as that was not my intention or what I did. I did try my best to remain respectful and speak the truth in love. Maybe not perfectly mind you, but I did my best. I think some of your confusion was the fact that I wasn't speaking directly to you. Yes a few times I did, however the majority was with others whom I had already been in discussion with. Again my intention was not to lecture, take to task or offend anyone as I've already made my apologies many times over. My approach may have ended up a little ruff around the edges, but some people's post to me were "pretty ruff around the edges at times as well." I was doing my best to stand on what I have felt Yeshua leading me to share. Can we all take this with a grain of Godly salt. Again my apologies to all for my misunderstood points and intentions or for any offenses. ;)

I too am confused in all of this back & forth over the same topic! Don't we all pretty much agree in conclusion?! I think Sweetlissa, Kscouple, Cecil and Pastor Randy's thoughts & his post on the topic of: "IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT THE SEX," that he posted a while back seems to sum up my points that I've felt lead to share. Also in regard to this issue, Cecil you've made another excellent point over in the "Marriage Section on this board," I believe it was today's post regarding what true biblical patriarchy and pm is & isn't about. Thanks for that shared wisdom, as that helps to make my point as well. Are we all ok now, and can we move onto other issues that Yeshua has for us all to learn from with one another as brothers & sisters in Christ? :) Take care all and continue on the Special path that Yeshua has placed each of you on, seeking His Will & direction for our lives and finding joy for the journey! :D

Warm Wishes for Yeshua's Wisdom & Blessings

Faithful (Not Perfect) Servant

I PRAY THAT I BE NOT A HINDRANCE!
PROVERBS 3:5-8 :)
 
Faithful Servant said:
can we move onto other issues ...
Click to expand...

Noooooooooooooooooooo....

Let's beat this one to death, then flay it some more, kick it around a bit, boil it in anti-freeze, and serve it up with a garnish of fresh fiberglass. ROFLOL.

Yeah, you're right, F.S. We all sayin' the same thing. Tryin' to translate heart into speech, and findin' it difficult, while we're all lookin' at the same picture of God's ideal and findin' it surpassingly beautiful! It's the fun and frustration of fellowship! Ain't it grand?
 
I was enjoying that beating a dead horse thing....
Oh well, on to other topics.

SweetLIssa
 
Hey you Guys,

I LOVE AND APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!! Please forgive this one simple fallen sinner, who can be a pain in the butt and oh so miss understood at times! Which is probably my own falt 90% of the time! :lol: Boy oh boy, if we are ever able to attend a retreat one of these days, won't cha ya'll be ever so thrilled to meet me?! :? Arrgh, have I totally blown it, sure hope not?! :o

Sweetlissa, I too am on the path of learning and growing in Christ, as this whole journey in life is a learning one! And in the process am learning the Godly balanced truths of Yeshua's will for Christian women in the areas of Submission. My dh is learning with me and we're venturing out in the great unknown for God's will. We're learning the struggles and joys of stepping into our God given roles. I like your point of both submitting to Yeshua together, to one another and mainly wives trusting, feeling safe, loved and cared for under our dh's protective covering and spiritual authority. I'm blessed in that my dh does enjoy helping me with the raising and nurturing of our dear children, helping out around the home, loving on me, etc. And in this act of love and respect for me, I do indeed find joy in the journey of learning & applying Godly/balanced Submission unto Yeshua and my dh! I have drawn baths, cooked his favorite treats, pampered him and have reached out to ask my dh how I can serve him better and be a help & blessing to him. Trusting and following my dh's lead in All things, has been a long hard journey for me, but none the less I'm doing my best to do so! God has been so faithful and giving to bless us in these areas, as we both have stepped out in faith to honor, to follow & obey Yeshua's will and plan for our lives.

Just a fallen broken sinner, a work in progress. Trudging along and trying to grow in the Lord and share any learned truths or insights along the way, trying to be a blessing to others and being blessed in return. Can't wait to meet ya'll one day, Lord willing! :D

Warm Wishes,
Faithful Servant
 
I was just playing the game with you baby, as a loving and submissive wife should?????

;) :D :lol:

SweetLissa
 
Hello everyone,
I was looking recently at a polygamist's blog and noticed that one of the blog descriptors was "anti-monogamy." I had never heard this term before and was surprised. It never occured to me that to be pro-polygamy could mean that you were anti-monogamy. Where does the Bible condemn having only one wife? I think that both monogamy and polygamy are Biblical, godly choices and to be "anti-monogamy" is not only to be against many of our brothers and sisters in Christ, but also against the Word. Polygamy is not for everyone...and in my opinion, probably not for most. So...it stands to reasons that it is not "wrong" to make a Monogamy Pledge...unless God has directed you to do otherwise.

With love,
H.
 
He is probably merely referring to the 1 Timothy 4 "doctrine of devils" phrased "forbidding to marry". Often blogs use certain key words to increase the likelihood of ranking better in the search engines. The blog owner probably is just desiring to be found by people that may choose to search for that particular phrase.

I seriously doubt that he or any significant others out there are officially against someone being married to one woman in general. Though I believe that "forbidding to marry" is definitely an "evil" that empowers many related "evils" to bring about the destruction of families and relationships.

I hope this helps.

Curtis

P.S. I don't even like the term polygamist because all that it means is someone that got married more than once and was faithful to all. Society has little issue with those who forsake one for another. Total illogical silliness!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top