Hi there Mary Ella,
Thanks much for sharing, as I enjoyed your experiences and insights on this topic. I like the point that you made regarding the different types of biblical marriages that Yeshua outlines for us in His Holy Scriptures. We all need to remember that mono, plural and celibate life choices are all approved of by God. Pm is not for everyone though! Just as we can make any of these types of marriages an idol, I do feel that sometimes the plural form of marriage has been starting to drift off into idol worship here at times as well. Yes it is another form of a God ordained marriage, but is it for all to just grab, to take hold of and steam roll over someone without first & foremost seeking Yeshua's will in it all? It shouldn't be looked at with an attitude of; "well it's there for the taking as a man made right," so there for I don't need to seek Yeshuas will for this! When in the scriptures have we been told to do anything in our lives without consulting Yeshua first and seeking to do His will alone? Not our will be done, but your will be done Father! Yes we all can point out scriptures when it seems to suit or positions, and we all surely pick and choose which ones to remember that need to be applied to our life, and which ones that we manage to forget about as well.
I also like the point that you brought up about women not being demonized for feeling confusion or fear in the beginning stages of even just finding out the biblical truths of pm. Then getting to a point of comfort and trust to begin to study it with our dh's, let alone actually start out on a search for a sw. That's a point that I've shared on as well. Again, I'm not saying that women have a right to be selfish & spoiled, allowing themselves to whine or manipulate their dh's in anything! All I was trying to talk about was the importance of one's APPROACH & ATTITUDE in the beginning stages of learning the truths of biblical pm. Is it wrong for a woman who has all her life been raised to believe in mono marriages only, to have fear and confusion or sadness? NO it isn't, it's only a sin when we act out in that fear! God himself tells us that fear & anger in themselves are not sinful, only if we act out on these feelings. AGAIN - I'VE NEVER ENCOURAGED OR ENDORSED SUCH BEHAVIOR ON ANY LEVEL! I've only suggested that husbands that are feeling a call to pm should lovingly, & respectfully consider the wife of his youths feelings, fears or concerns. Did Not suggest that husbands should not listen to or obey any call they have on their lives, as long as it's of God and it's not just a selfish or carnal desire in their lives. God knows the motives of our hearts and will bless us all accordingly! Once a couple have together united in Christ, have test the spirits/lined up all desires & said callings with the Holy Scriptures and are in agreement, then Yes we wives should follow Yeshua & their dh's in this in a Submissive & Christ Honoring way. Even if the couple isn't a %100 sure in the beginning if that call may be of God, of course the wife is still to respectfully follow her dh's lead in all things. If however the wife is still feeling fear along the way, she should still be encouraged Lovingly to step out in faith, and do it in fear. All along learning to die to self daily, striving to be a blessing to all by following Yeshua and their dh's lead in all things, and being blessed in return along the way.
I would like to think/know that if Yeshua ever does call our family to pm, that my dh would have the attitude & heart of Christ, to continue to love me as Christ loves the church. To do his best to lovingly reassure me of his love and devotion, offer me hugs, positive support and encouragement through times of open/honest shared discussions and prayers, should fear ever creep into my heart at any given time. We have had these discussions, and thankfully my dh has agreed to do his best in these areas/issues of life, to do his best to support me and a sw, if Yeshua ever calls us to the plural life. I Haven't asked or Demanded perfection, or to always have my way or to lead my dh in anything. What I've asked for is open/honest, respectful & compassionate communication to be strived for, not without experiencing any bumps or bruises along the way of course. As God does tell us all, in this life we all will have many trials. What matters is what we do during those times, what our attitudes are like towards one another & how our approach is in handling these trials. Again, as God see's and knows the true motives of all of our hearts and endevors in this life, we should always seek to do His will and whats best for everyone.
For some reason, I feel as though people keep adding to my words and reading things that aren't truly there between the lines. Yes I suppose there are some selfish immature wife's out there, just as there are some immature & selfish men in the world as well. None of us are perfect, as we're all works in progress. And those who feel that they've "arrived," usually have the furthest to go!
A little compassion, flexibility, honest open discussion between a mono or plural family is not being spoiled, asking too much or thwarting God's call on anyone's life in any way shape or form. Not that hard of a matter/Truth to understand or wrap our brains around here! I do Respect, care for and appreciate all of you here. As I've grown and learned many new biblical truths that I was not raised with. A little patience & a cheerful/encouraging words/attitudes goes a long way for all people weather dealing with children, marriage issues, or our work, etc!
Take care all and continue to Lean on, Trust & Hope in Yeshua, seeking His path for your life & finding joy for the journey!
Warm Wishes for Yeshuas Wisdom, Direction & Blessings!
Faithful (Not perfect) Servant
I PRAY THAT I BE NOT A HINDRANCE!
PROVERBS 3:5-8