• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Support Abducted Children

Update:
No update.... Unfortunately nothing at all from my wife, I got a brief email with two attachments that I requested, homeschool docs and business business docs I asked for in a text. Nothing at all about my 2 son's she abducted, the email acted as if nothing has even happened. No reply to any of my calls or messages, she's blocked me on my only contact source,Skype. My son's birthday was on the 8th, I got a text with a few photos, that was it, no call no discussion about any of this.

I've resulted to my only option, filing legal charges. Thankfully there are international laws preventing this kind of thing and a law in this country protecting against a legal custodian from removing children out of the country from another legal custody parent. But in order to get any chance of seeing my son's again I have to file these charges against her to get her and the kids back here to fight for custody at least. It's been so discouraging and the heart aches is overwhelming most days.i just pray she'd come back and sort things out properly, here.
Joleneakamama said:
We have a friend who's wife split with the children. She left them with her mother, so he informed the authorities in the next state that he was coming to pick up his children and everything went well. She didnt like coming back to find she was the one suddenly and unexpectedly childless. She did come back and they worked things out for a time.
You should do whatever you need to in making certain you can influence and raise your sons. I don't feel bad for her....I think the fact that she did that to you means she needs to be on the other end.
Click to expand...
I agree, but as in some other discussions on BF it's the turn the other cheek and do until other's as your have done unto you. I think and know she'd be devastated if I did this to her, but she knows I'd never do something like this which is why she is. Not my ideal situation, but I've got no choice if I want what's best for my kids I need to do something. Going to England isn't an option really when I have no clue where she is nor do I have their passports to bring them back to Asia.
 
Sean Miller said:
Update:
No update.... Unfortunately nothing at all from my wife, I got a brief email with two attachments that I requested, homeschool docs and business business docs I asked for in a text. Nothing at all about my 2 son's she abducted, the email acted as if nothing has even happened. No reply to any of my calls or messages, she's blocked me on my only contact source,Skype. My son's birthday was on the 8th, I got a text with a few photos, that was it, no call no discussion about any of this.

I've resulted to my only option, filing legal charges. Thankfully there are international laws preventing this kind of thing and a law in this country protecting against a legal custodian from removing children out of the country from another legal custody parent. But in order to get any chance of seeing my son's again I have to file these charges against her to get her and the kids back here to fight for custody at least. It's been so discouraging and the heart aches is overwhelming most days.i just pray she'd come back and sort things out properly, here.

I agree, but as in some other discussions on BF it's the turn the other cheek and do until other's as your have done unto you. I think and know she'd be devastated if I did this to her, but she knows I'd never do something like this which is why she is. Not my ideal situation, but I've got no choice if I want what's best for my kids I need to do something. Going to England isn't an option really when I have no clue where she is nor do I have their passports to bring them back to Asia.
Click to expand...
I think fighting her tooth and nail is a good idea. You have to do what has to be done to see your son. I didn’t fight my ex-wife when she messed with visitation. I thought it would get better if I didn’t make waves. It didn’t. Fight her.
 
The Revolting Man said:
I think fighting her tooth and nail is a good idea. You have to do what has to be done to see your son. I didn’t fight my ex-wife when she messed with visitation. I thought it would get better if I didn’t make waves. It didn’t. Fight her.
Click to expand...
Agree. If you don't fight for your kids, there will come a day when they are old enough to know what's going on and will wonder why you didn't. They will assume that you didn't care enough to go through the fire for them.
 
@Sean Miller , do or not do what have to for your children. We, others, have no clue about your life. It is a journey you have to face alone, in the end. I have done it, others have too and when we all look back there are many things we can say we should have done, you will too. God has a purpose in the building and tearing down of a relationship. Once it's over, you will look back and say, that was they toughest thing I have ever done, but if your focus is correctly on God, you will say, I wouldn't change a thing because I am closer to God today. Pray for reconciliation, but expect a life change. God is in control, but I know, it's hard to see in the middle of the fire.
 
Sean Miller said:
I agree, but as in some other discussions on BF it's the turn the other cheek and do until other's as your have done unto you. I think and know she'd be devastated if I did this to her, but she knows I'd never do something like this which is why she is. Not my ideal situation, but I've got no choice if I want what's best for my kids I need to do something. Going to England isn't an option really when I have no clue where she is nor do I have their passports to bring them back to Asia.
Click to expand...
I have never been where you are. But my gut feel is as others have said, just do it. Make it clear to her, whenever you do communicate as part of this or even in official documents, that all you actually want is an amicable out-of-court solution to the issue, the legal procedure is something that she has chosen herself by leaving you no other option. But be firm and, having been forced into that situation, don't back down.

You can also make it clear that she has freedom to choose to follow you or not to. But she doesn't have the freedom to take your children. If she wants to move to the UK she can go for it and you'll respect her choice, but the children belong to you. That is an entirely biblical position - although she is to obey you as her husband, she has a choice whether to actually do what God requires, or not do it. She has free will over her own life and her own choices to sin or not to sin, to follow God or reject Him.

But she doesn't have the freedom to steal from you or harm your children (by removing them from a relationship with their father). That is a decision over someone else's life that is not hers to make. And one which secular laws exist to prevent.
 
FollowingHim said:
You can also make it clear that she has freedom to choose to follow you or not to. But she doesn't have the freedom to take your children. If she wants to move to the UK she can go for it and you'll respect her choice, but the children belong to you. That is an entirely biblical position - although she is to obey you as her husband, she has a choice whether to actually do what God requires, or not do it. She has free will over her own life and her own choices to sin or not to sin, to follow God or reject Him.

But she doesn't have the freedom to steal from you or harm your children (by removing them from a relationship with their father). That is a decision over someone else's life that is not hers to make. And one which secular laws exist to prevent.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the response and support. I've actually said the exact same things you've mentioned here to Rachel many times in the last year, almost exact words. She always responded "don't worry, I'll never do that or I won't ever take your kids away from you".

She didn't like the idea of having to be financially independent, she said the idea scared her and she felt embarrassed by that. I thought it was very normal for a woman to want and keep what she's had for 6 years, time freedom and no pressure to provide or pay bills. So I trusted her and didn't expect her to do something like this. And all because in a text message I told my other spouse she'd get a spanking when I got home if she kept being so rude in how she spoke to me... I wasn't even home... I wish it was something more dramatic, but it wasn't, it didn't even have any thing to do with Rachel and I. Before I got home she was gone. To make it even more laughable, domestic disipline was Rachels idea and request! Ugh, complete frustration.
 
Atheists/agnostics/skeptics hate even the thought of spanking your own children, much less your wife, unless of course they understand it to be a form of foreplay.
 
Sean Miller said:
And all because in a text message I told my other spouse she'd get a spanking when I got home if she kept being so rude in how she spoke to me
Click to expand...
So she has proof that you're 'abusive' and shouldn't have access to your children. If you haven't contacted a lawyer yet then do it now and tell them the whole truth, including this. I suspect you have quite the fight on your hands. I wonder if she wanted to leave but waited until you did something like this so that she could have the proof needed to make sure she didn't have to see you again and could make a clean break and keep the children with her.
 
Even when I don't see it, You're working.
 
FollowingHim2 said:
So she has proof that you're 'abusive' and shouldn't have access to your children. If you haven't contacted a lawyer yet then do it now and tell them the whole truth, including this. I suspect you have quite the fight on your hands. I wonder if she wanted to leave but waited until you did something like this so that she could have the proof needed to make sure she didn't have to see you again and could make a clean break and keep the children with her.
Click to expand...
#setup
 
Sean Miller said:
She always responded "don't worry, I'll never do that or I won't ever take your kids away from you".
Click to expand...

What did you expect her to say? "I'm planning to take them away from you just as soon as your next paycheck clears so I have enough for plane tickets?"

If that comes across as harsh to you I don't mean it to be, but I'm trying to illustrate for others the folly of that mindset. This is a common pitfall for Christian men, they want to think well of their wives, that they're good Christians who wouldn't do anything bad. They buy into the churches mindset that women are more spiritual; innocent angels. And it set's them up for failure.

But Christian women kick fathers out of their children's lives all the time; all of them previously claiming to be faithful and true to her man. Any and every woman is capable of it because they all have a carnal nature and a state/church apparatus that helps and rewards them for doing it.
 
I have four sisters. Not one of them has kicked their husband to the curb. One of them has expressed to me, her dissatisfaction with her husband, numerous times, but I think that things have improved between them. So one out of four has considered that route, and I discouraged her from doing so, but I am sure that ending a marriage is not something that women take lightly. I think it all comes down to who is whispering in their ears, and what they are saying.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
I think it all comes down to who is whispering in their ears, and what they are saying.
Click to expand...
Exactly
Who’s advice are they listening to. That’s been my experience.
 
The woman I mentioned earlier claimed to be Christian, but decided her husband wasn't really a believer. She used a woman's ministry called Safety In Numbers and a four square church to leave her husband and deprive him of all access to his children. He is now getting to know them as adults 16 years later.

Women will usually find someone to affirm whatever course they want to take. This is why a woman who fears God is priceless.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
I have four sisters. Not one of them has kicked their husband to the curb.
Click to expand...

Many people who voted for Hilary were shocked when Trump won because, "I don't know anyone who voted for him." Just because this isn't true in your family or your circle of associates doesn't mean it's not generally true.

The women in church divorce their men just as much as their worldly counterparts. Sure, there is a 3 or 4 point statistically significant difference in divorce rates. But that's little comfort when rates are as high as they are. There isn't a spiritually significant difference in divorce rates compared to non-Christians. If there was, the divorce rate in the churches would be near 0% like it is for the Amish.

Daniel DeLuca said:
I am sure that ending a marriage is not something that women take lightly.
Click to expand...

LOL. If that was true 'bored' wouldn't be a common reasons cited for why women divorced their husband (and I know divorced women who've said this too). You're still thinking idealistically; that women are motivated the same way men are.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top