As it was not a topic of extreme interest I was speed scanning through the last few posts and then my brain said wait what? Scan back up...lol!
Nerd confirmed
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Why does the Husband Not Need Permission from his Wife?
- Thread starter OttoM
- Start date
As it was not a topic of extreme interest I was speed scanning through the last few posts and then my brain said wait what? Scan back up...lol!
Nerd confirmed
Probably the difference between the faith based and more kind vs secular and er...less kind approach.
I just call them degenerates and dumbasses with an unjustified streak of narcissism. To buck up their ideas and get on the program for polygamy for a wholesome reason ro just accept thst you are an unrequited fantisist and that it will not be changing. That they should bloody well get with the program or jog on and not poison the well.
I appreciate your candor, what I appreciate less is that information which was shared in a semi private conversation is just publicized. Although I also made a mistake with the profile picture, where people likely deduced my approx. age. That mistake will be remedied, now.
As to your why question: I am looking for a marriage that is morally sound, and a christian basis will greatly increase the success that it is. With other websites it is more akin to something that resembles prostitution. If that is what someone is looking for, I will not judge them, but it is not for me. Granted, I should have perhaps have vetted some of the comments here.
No, I was not surprised that many here believe Patriarchy to be the foundation of a marriage, and certain aspects I could see myself practicing as well. It is possible that I find a husband that fits perfectly to me who demands a higher level of submission from me, then a men who is less dominant but also less of a fit. But it will be my choice. I am glad I have the choice, woman 500 years ago did not, they were traded between fathers and husbands like cattle, and many woman im places like Afghanistan endure the same today. I was surprised with the level of outright hostility that some display. although it is nothing I cannot deal with. I will respond if challenged. Even in a patriarchy I would assume woman can expect to not be treated like 2nd class citizens. One of the people I admire is Marie Curie, a brilliant scientist, it should not matter what the sex is. However, just because she had a vagina she needed to publicize some of her work under a male pseudonym. That cannot be accepted.
What I find hypocritical: the view here is that society has a whole is intolerant toward people where marriage is plural, and I would agree. However, tolerance is a two way street. If one shows no tolerance towards others, one can expect none. I think some men here have forgotten that.
Just to be clear, the majority of posters here I have no issue with, and people like FollowingHim are very balanced in their statements.
As to your statement that men might not find my attitude attractive. You would be correct, but in that case it would be vice versa, so it is irrelevant in the end.
Yes, we are - because you've made more than two posts. Whenever people turn up, whatever their views, our response is "Welcome, good to meet you". We don't debate people the moment they post an introduction. When (and if) they start actually participating in discussions on theology, that's a different matter.
@Maia, you've made your approximate age very clear through many of your posts in the way you've discussed your family. You've shared a vast amount of information about yourself. You have even said on your profile that you are "13-25", and everything you've said has been entirely consistent with that. Putting a precise number on it is nothing new whatsoever to any of us, which is why @julieb did not see that as revealing anything confidential. If you'd actually shared anything truly confidential, she would not have shared that publicly.
For start, basic info about person aren't private. If third person ask your acquitance to describe you, what will acquitance say? Age/job/school will be mentioned.
Also, your approximate age isn't hard to deduce. First, you mentioned so much parents it's obvious you still live with them or depend on them. Only reason you would be 20+ is by going to college.
Second, you are for practically all state pushed BS. This again implies you being very young. It's simple, school really pushes dependence and obedience on state (it's after all state institution, politicians certainly won't pay for textbooks which would describe them as assholes).
I'm 35 and I believe I'm in lower third in age distibution. Certainly in lower half. With 15/20 years of real life experience you will have in memory total BS told by policitians. And not just once, but multiple times. And when you start digging into real history, you will find out that about practically everything was lied.
And since forum isn't about something conventional, it doesn't attract 25+ still politically correct totally brainswashed people. There aren't here any people with any significant life experience who trust info provided by government. So you must not have any significant life experience which implies you being young.
It's not a submission if you get to choose what you will obey. Marriage isn't supposed to be eternal negotiation what is acceptable.
It's doubtful simply because men in West had very strong incentives to treat women well. In my opinion too well, since from time of Eleanor of Aquitaine Western culture has pushed idea that women can't sin in practical sense. Chivalry was and still is bad idea.
For what? For her achievements? Or for being such helpmate for her husband?
Men don't won't source of additional competition at home, but somebody who makes their life easier, sexier and joyful.
Says you. But our God is in heaven; He does whatever He pleases (Psalm 115:3).
One cannot rule out the possibility that you are not who you say you are. Your posts are particularly problematic, however I find no problem with Ephesians in the Bible.
Says you. I am a man and I question many things, including doctrines espoused by strangers who show up on sites on the Web. Cheers
I appreciate your response, and it should give us all a clearer understanding of the direction you are coming from when posting. You say you want a Christian marriage, but you failed to answer when asked if you are a Christian. I understand that that description comes with lots of variation on the theme, but if you desire to answer that question to some degree, that also helps us know what your mind set is about certain things.
I do not know of any Christian sites that would make women feel like a prostitute but I am sure there are some out there. I was mostly thinking of you finding a local church or facebook group that you could connect with that might have more similar values to you than here, but you say this is what you are looking for so I will believe you.
Lastly, I do apologize if sharing your age was out of turn. Not sure why you wouldn't want to be up front about that, but I assume you have your reasons. Those of us who have been a part of this site for many years have seen too many scammers, and such, come through these pages. I truly hope you are not here for anything other than what you claim. You joining us on the Tuesday night Ladies Video chat would be a good start to assuring those ladies who would like to get to know you better, and in turn their husbands, that you are who you say you are. Of course, if that is not a step you want to take at this time, I understand.
He does, He definitely does. This is the advantage of have the Holy Spirit, we can all communicate directly with God, and He with us. I know very few Christians that claim to have never heard from God.
This is not salvation, nor even Christianity. This is like saying that you have a good life and feel like a good person so you must be fine. That is not how it works. Salvation is individual, and you need to choose it. It involves repenting of your sins, and choosing to follow God in your life. It is not something you can inherit because your family are Christians, it is something that is deeply personal.
In your posts you seem to have very little respect for God or those that follow Him, so I am asking you this question, because it is the most important thing to ask anyone.
Are you a born again Christian?
Maybe it is just me but I had not payed that much attention. I know she either said or implied that she was at uni so I just assumed low 20s but did not particularly think about it beyond that.
Not sure that it particularly matters to the various and sundry topics.
We get people of all levels of experience and consideration with the primary topic of plural marriage in the joint at various ages
In retrospect that was a little to harsh. Like I said, the Avatar I had kinda told the whole picture anyways. Perhaps I will bring it back.
Has nothing to do with government.
I was influenced yes, but by my family, not just my parents. They had many a meetings and even though no one in the extended family was a climatologist, or geologist, many have science degrees, and the determination was made that the opinion of the majority in the science community is that CO2 plays a role and that their assessment is correct. The business strategy of my family that gets communicated to employees, bankers and companies that we invest in that we do not care about the next 5 or 10 years, we care about getting the family into the next century. So a considerable amount of resources was activated to make us more "green" for lack of a better turn. That also included turning forestry land from mono-cultures to a more varied forest and things like that. Employees who get a car as part of their compensation package need to get an electric car (more an issue for Germany where 50% of the population has a company car, since the tax laws are structured so that only 1% of a car's MSRP price gets taxed as income) and it was decided to concentrate on the VW group since they had the most plausible mid term strategy to source battery cell raw materials from Canada and the European Union.
The main environmental topic where there is quite an aggressive debate with the family is with regards to genetically modified crops. In the EU it is a mute topic anyways, but in North America we do grow Liberty Link Canola.
P.S. Except for the upfront cost, I do not really see much of a downside to being "green" I mean it is nice to just plug in the car everyday and charge with solar, one only uses public charges a few times a year for longer trips. Plus there is the performance aspect. My father has an affinity for high powered Audi Avants. He has the original RS2, the S6+, 1st RS4, 1st RS6, 2nd RS6 with the Lamborghini sourced bi-turbo V10. His current electric Porsche Taycan makes those gasoline cars look pedestrian. The raw performance of that car is almost unpleasant, the vision actually blurs. And since it can charge at 300 kW up to ~ 60 % those few public charging stops one does do are ~ 15 minutes. They need to get that performance into a Golf now.
(Shrugs) Well I will negotiate. I do not need to marry to get out of poverty or something so I guess that makes me a free agent.
In one of the public posts here (so I find it ok to post) a woman stated that she wants her husband to get a 2nd wife since she finds it difficult to deal with her husbands demands for sex. Sorry but a wife should not be asking for a 2nd wife to be brought in so that the vaginas can share the punishment. Unbelievable.
My family was Catholic for generations, well as far back as we have it documented actually. In the past it was quite common that one daughter would become a nun, one son would study Theology etc. Most have now left the Catholic Church. At the moment we do not have a church per se, and that is fine. Religion can be a wonderful thing, and I know people where religion gave them the strength to not commit suicide, however when grouped together in an organised structure, it can corrupt. I would say I am trying to be a good person, more or less, which also means that unlike many peers of mine I have not had sex.
I meant more like general sites to meet people. Local churches ehh perhaps, maybe, I dunno.
I have heard of the term, however I am not 100% sure if I am interpreting it as you are. I think Catholics might take a different definition. I would not say that I had a form of conversion per se. Like I said I have had moments of extreme clarity.
The same way most evangelical Christians do. Born again - a person who has called upon and trusted in Christ alone for their eternal salvation and can point to a time and place when they accepted that (conversion experience).
Romans 10:9-13 KJV - 9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. 12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Proverbs 21:9 KJV It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Proverbs 25:24 KJV It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
I have never been to the corner of my housetop, and I have NEVER had a brawling and or competing woman in my house, and I have been happily married for 32 years. Praise YaHWeH!!
I have asked it this way, are you a true born-again Bible-believing Christian?
@Maia, thankyou for clarifying your own religious views so clearly. What I took from it is that you're from a culturally Catholic background, personally think God exists, see the value in Christian culture particularly when it comes to marriage, but have not made your own personal decision to follow God (in other words, aren't "born again" in a Protestant sense, or "confirmed" in a Catholic sense). Correct me if I'm wrong.
It's helpful to understand where you are coming from. I have thoughts on what it means for your seeking a Christian based marriage, but I'll write those later when I've got more time. For now, thanks for explaining your present understanding.
It's helpful to understand where you are coming from. I have thoughts on what it means for your seeking a Christian based marriage, but I'll write those later when I've got more time. For now, thanks for explaining your present understanding.
@Maia I'm so sorry for how you've been treated here. It may not bother you, but it bothers me, and I know it bothers other people watching as well. Nothing you've said has warranted the hostility and extensive personal questioning you've received thus far. This happens time and time again to new people. This will be the last time I log into this forum, for that very reason.
You may feel like there is a double standard when it comes to you, because there is one. With the very little time you've spent here, I'm impressed with how intuitive you are regarding the personalities and nature of some of the people on this forum. Please continue to trust that instinct and be very cautious about who you choose to associate with.
You can follow the group's pattern like clockwork; if you make a disagreeable statement, many members will begin to express their opinions at you, all at once.
If you dare argue back and continue to hold your stance, they'll claim you haven't researched the topic well enough; they'll claim "they know the truth," yet they never really manage to produce anything compelling enough to make you consider changing your mind.
At this point, if, after reading their so-called "proof," you choose to still hold your opinion, they'll move on to accuse you of "being close-minded, not wanting to hear both sides, refusing to learn, and insisting that you are being brainwashed by feminism."
When you decide to bail out of the argument, they'll come at you even harder; normally, this includes personal attacks. Example: "The men in this group won't find you attractive with that sort of attitude." Which is a laughably untrue statement; the very same men who "won't find your attitude attractive" will be in your private messages trying to get to know you in the future, especially if you're a young woman in her prime. I love that you held your own and had the confidence to point out that it's a two-way street, because it definitely is!
You have every right to privacy without being questioned extensively as to why something made you feel uncomfortable or having to explain your reasons to strangers on the internet, especially at such a young age.
You may feel like there is a double standard when it comes to you, because there is one. With the very little time you've spent here, I'm impressed with how intuitive you are regarding the personalities and nature of some of the people on this forum. Please continue to trust that instinct and be very cautious about who you choose to associate with.
You can follow the group's pattern like clockwork; if you make a disagreeable statement, many members will begin to express their opinions at you, all at once.
If you dare argue back and continue to hold your stance, they'll claim you haven't researched the topic well enough; they'll claim "they know the truth," yet they never really manage to produce anything compelling enough to make you consider changing your mind.
At this point, if, after reading their so-called "proof," you choose to still hold your opinion, they'll move on to accuse you of "being close-minded, not wanting to hear both sides, refusing to learn, and insisting that you are being brainwashed by feminism."
When you decide to bail out of the argument, they'll come at you even harder; normally, this includes personal attacks. Example: "The men in this group won't find you attractive with that sort of attitude." Which is a laughably untrue statement; the very same men who "won't find your attitude attractive" will be in your private messages trying to get to know you in the future, especially if you're a young woman in her prime. I love that you held your own and had the confidence to point out that it's a two-way street, because it definitely is!
What you said was not harsh; please don't let them convince you of this or convince you that Julie had the right to blast your age in such a manner. It obviously wasn't done by mistake; there was intent behind the statement that followed it, and it was very, nasty and uncalled for.
You have every right to privacy without being questioned extensively as to why something made you feel uncomfortable or having to explain your reasons to strangers on the internet, especially at such a young age.
@Maia, this is untrue, anyone who knows @julieb personally can confirm that she was not talking to you out of some hidden nasty intent. Let's just discuss the topic at hand rather than whether people are nasty or not. People have been asking you questions in order to understand where you're coming from, they asked repeatedly as you had not answered a question multiple people felt was important for obvious reasons ("are you a Christian"), and you have now answered this question (if anyone does not realise that it is answered, re-read her post #132 above carefully, it explains what her thinking is, and in far more useful detail than a simple yes or no would have done).
I think we're moving into a more productive conversation now, and strongly request that nobody derails that by delving back into the mud of "who is being nasty to who".
This is logically sound. Having a Christian basis to a marriage should give it a foundation that is both morally sound and more likely to achieve success.
However, a Christian basis to a marriage implies that both parties to the marriage actually believe in and follow some form of Christianity. You have to have a degree of faith and conviction to actually follow through on this. Otherwise you're just play-acting, and don't actually have the foundation you are looking for. The foundation is Christian faith itself.
For instance, one of the most foundational pillars of a Christian marriage is the firm conviction that divorce is almost always sinful (let's not debate what lies behind the words "almost always", the detail is beside my point). That God wants you to remain married for life, and would be very disappointed if you failed. This conviction helps you to "burn the bridges" as it were - rule out divorce as an option, and then whatever happens, you WILL work through it and you will succeed. It is religious faith that is the foundation which gives someone enough stubbornness to have that attitude and push through every difficulty. It is the fact that it isn't just a religion, a tradition that society expects you to follow, but a personal conviction that you will not allow yourself not to follow.
A major problem I have observed in Catholic culture (we lived in Ireland for some time), is the fact that because priests are celibate, people don't take the church's teachings seriously any more when it comes to marriage. Which makes logical sense - "the priest might say that thing, but how does he know, he's not married, I know better than him because I've got more experience". So society goes through the ritual, but most people don't actually believe it in their heart. The result is people first sleeping around, increases in the abortion rate, then living together in de-facto relationships without "getting married", most of which fail invisibly without being recorded in the divorce statistics, late marriage of those relationships which survive the de-facto "trial period", then further increases in the divorce rate of those relationships that survive all the way to the ceremony... People who are nominally "Catholic" but are really just like any other secular person, they just happen to go to Mass on special occasions sometimes.
This way of approaching Christianity does NOT give you a marriage on a "Christian basis". It gives you a secular marriage with Christian decorations.
I applaud your observation that Christianity is a solid basis for marriage, and your desire for a Christian marriage. In order to achieve this desire then, you need to first pursue Christianity, and gain a true personal faith in God. Whether you do that through becoming a real Catholic who actually believes it all, or leave that church and find God elsewhere, is secondary. Whatever is the most natural road to Him for you personally, start travelling it. That is the only road towards the goal you are trying to reach.
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Well one of the rules I will always have for my wives, is that they love one another. The other main rule is that they will not refuse the love that I have for them. My wife of 22 years certainly does not want a sister wife who disapproves of her.
Other considerations that I have in place, would be a nonsmoker (we don't want any of that in our house), non-drinker (we don't have any of that around here), not divorced, or if she is, her husband has passed away (I don't want some other man's wife), so I have set the bar pretty high, which leaves me searching in a very small pool. I am somewhat flexible on the woman who brings her own children into the mix, because obviously there are situations where she had a husband who has passed away, or I know of one young woman who was date raped, so the incident was not her fault.
As a follower of Christ, I understand that we are under the law of love, and love brings no harm to his or her neighbor. I certainly want wives who will get along with each other and compliment each other. My wife loves to clean and organize things. This will be low priority for me in my search for wife #2. My wife does not enjoy sorting out the laundry, so this will be high priority for me in finding wife #2. If I get two wives who compliment each other perfectly , I will see no need to get a wife #3, but if there are areas a third wife could help out in, both wife #1 and #2 will have to understand that there will be an effor tto find #3.