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Ultimatums

  • Thread starter Thread starter Cap
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Excellent example of why speaking in tongues in groups fellowship without an interpreter was forbidden. :)
Here we can use a Google translator if we really want to know.
I'm not at all offended, I thought it was funny, but if it was in person, or prophesy, or prayer....it made me think the above thought.
 
Ancient Paths said:
Ai! Que bueno que tenemos algunos que pueden hablar espanol!
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:) @Ancient Paths -- I seriously love and enjoy the Spanish language, but I don't think you're helping the matter for those who don't know it--you're digging my hole deeper here (I say this with a smile of course) so help me out. We gotta come up for air for those who don't know the language and may think we're trying to communicate incognito. We don't want to make anyone feel left out, especially in this group which has such a solid core of comaraderie. Tell Kelly I said howdy!
 
"Wow! So good we have several who can speak Spanish!" (Spoken in my best Latin spanglish)
 
rejoicinghandmaid said:
Yes, and that is one of the big things that encourages my heart as I listened at retreat and have been on the forum now for several months. I hear the men saying that not only does the wife have major issues to work through and growing and maturing in the spiritual realm, but I also hear the men talking about the transformations they had to move through, the fences they had to get over, the growth of patience, understanding, the learning to lean on and listen to YHWH instead of having it "their way", nurturing they had to develop to lead that FW well. It's a joy to listen to the women explain how their husband led so that they could catch up to where he was. Oh, my goodness--what's being learned here among the men and women isn't just about Biblical families!! What individuals are achieving in their walk with YHWH is affecting every area of their whole life, that of their children, and eventually their grandchildren and generations beyond. So from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU, men, who are daring to navigate such deep waters because you feel your Adown has said, "Come". You've stepped out of the boat! Peter DID walk on water. He didn't tread water--he walked!
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You, I am sure, get a very broad perspective. You are learning this new way of thinking first from your son... a God fearing, abiding in truth, honorable husband and man. You are learning from your DIL who also is a devoted wife, lover of Yahweh, seeker of truth. Yet they are still growing and developing their love and understanding of Yeshuas desires for them. They work together, study together, have faced hardships together. (I'm guessing here) that you have had conversations with DIL heard her concerns, struggles and anxieties and how together they are working through the steps.
You have a fantastic faith and relationship with Yahweh, you seek him first. You have been married to a man who loved the Lord and you. Your perspectives are unique and valuable. You will be way more prepared than many of us.
Thank you for sharing that with us.

I loved the analogy of not running a mile on a broken leg. @WifeOfHisYouth
It takes time, patience, and nurturing.

@Cap great questions! Not being a wife I can't say for certain but what I can say is love on your wife, reassure her you are not replacing her and that you need her a part of the process. Your final decision will be yours and you will be responsible for what happens next. If you work through it together you will be that much closer in the long run.

I long for the day I am blessed with a husband.... it won't ve just any man he will be the most amazing! I won't settle for anything less :D
 
Joleneakamama said:
Excellent example of why speaking in tongues in groups fellowship without an interpreter was forbidden. :)
Here we can use a Google translator if we really want to know.
I'm not at all offended, I thought it was funny, but if it was in person, or prophesy, or prayer....it made me think the above thought.
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Right, but isn't there a 1.5-minute limit on speaking in tongues, anyway? It would seem to me that, at the very least, @rejoicinghandmaid and @Ancient Paths deserve muy buenos for blessing us with remaining within that protocol!
 
It would seem to me that if you have a potential second wife in mind who is already on board with plural marriage, she could work on your wife, not necessarily trying to convince her of the truth of polygyny, but that she could be her best friend, and help out with anything the first wife needs, and be her confidant. If they are already doing everything together and sharing secrets, and basically have become best friends, I would think the first wife might be much more willing to welcome her into the home.
 
Daniel, when that happens naturally, and not as part of a hidden agenda, it can be great. As part of an agreed strategy between a man and a single woman to butter up the first wife without her knowing what the end game is, it's a terrible idea. If you don't want to take my word for it; ask the ladies here.
 
andrew said:
Daniel, when that happens naturally, and not as part of a hidden agenda, it can be great. As part of an agreed strategy between a man and a single woman to butter up the first wife without her knowing what the end game is, it's a terrible idea. If you don't want to take my word for it; ask the ladies here.
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Subterfuge almost always reaps the very negative rewards The Adversary intended.
 
andrew said:
Daniel, when that happens naturally, and not as part of a hidden agenda, it can be great. As part of an agreed strategy between a man and a single woman to butter up the first wife without her knowing what the end game is, it's a terrible idea. If you don't want to take my word for it; ask the ladies here.
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Good point. So getting the wife on board first seems to be the best route to go.
 
Yesyesyesyesyes.

If you can walk your wife through the scriptural issue first (easier for those who are not willfully blind), and then the cultural issue (much harder), before you get to the practical application (hardest), that's the best track. If you have an active desire to make another woman your wife while trying to convince your first wife that it's "okay with God", your first wife is going to be all over that (whether you're trying to hide it or not—you may be good at hiding but you're not that good ;)), and it is virtually impossible (absent a Holy Spirit miracle) to convince her after that desire is there that you're not just some deranged pervert who has found a couple of bible verses that appear (to you but not to her and her friends) "to justify your sin".

Working harder in the short run will pay off big dividends in the long run.
 
NB - I'm not criticizing relationships that start before all the head knowledge is there, I'm just saying that's a harder row to hoe with the first wife. One of the many tragedies of our culture is that men often develop paternal/provider/comforter feelings for women that they could actually take into their families to everyone's mutual benefit, but then accept the cultural programming that those feelings are illicit and either cut off that relationship out of self-preservation ("lead us not into temptation") or give in to the shame of the desire and just have an affair. I salute the men who find themselves in that position and then turn to God and the scriptures to find direction and peace instead of assuming the truth of their conditioning. All I'm saying is that they have a tough road ahead....
 
andrew said:
Yesyesyesyesyes.

If you can walk your wife through the scriptural issue first (easier for those who are not willfully blind), and then the cultural issue (much harder), before you get to the practical application (hardest), that's the best track. If you have an active desire to make another woman your wife while trying to convince your first wife that it's "okay with God", your first wife is going to be all over that (whether you're trying to hide it or not—you may be good at hiding but you're not that good ;)), and it is virtually impossible (absent a Holy Spirit miracle) to convince her after that desire is there that you're not just some deranged pervert who has found a couple of bible verses that appear (to you but not to her and her friends) "to justify your sin".

Working harder in the short run will pay off big dividends in the long run.
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OK, I will scour the web for resources on these steps two and three that you outlined, but I don't know if the desire for this particular young woman is going to go anywhere. That usually doesn't go away until the last hope for a relationship with whomever she may be, has completely dissipated, which usually tanks any motivation that I have for working on helping my wife accept polygamy. You are right about hiding it. I hid it for quite some time, but she suspected something, which I determined not to confirm or deny, and gave her an alternative possible reason for not telling her, that at least got her off my back. I only stated that I would never engage in sexual relations with a woman outside of a marriage, because she thought that it had gone that far.
 
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