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The futility of on-line dating (my little rant which may help you gain perspective)

Sol said:
It’s a biblical love story with Boaz acting as Ruth’s redeemer. Could you share greater relevance in your comment ?
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From Ruth 3:10 we understand Boaz was a much older man than Ruth yet she was attracted to him and he took her to be his. God blessed them with a son from whom David was descended. It is a classic "older man taking a younger woman" story and God blessing them greatly. Cheers
 
Nothing wrong with big age gaps. Don't make it an issue.

Sol said:
I agree with your deductions, but that places you squarely in the realm of polyamory or extra marital affair if you are already married. The problem is that such relationships offer no structure or natural path of progression other than to end badly at some point. I believe that PM demands partners to have the end in sight. I understand that not everyone may agree with my views.
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Well it's not a foregone conclusion. Nor do I care for the situation or recommend that approach; part of why I'm not messing with it all right now. But that's the present situation.
 
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Sol said:
Dear fellow members,

I’ve recently found this website and after reading several posts, I felt a less alone in the world. My wife and I have been married for eleven and a half years and made the decision to look for another wife about a year ago. We are based in the south of England and I’d like to mention that we are Christians.

We boldly set out to create profiles on just about every dating platform out there and followed sensible practices in limiting the information presented in the profile to be minimalistic, intriguing and honest as to our purpose in meeting a lady for a long term relationship. We are well kept people and I’d say our photos are attractive.

Responses to our profiles on these various sites over the course of several months were as follows (I am listing but a few);

1. OKCupid - No response at all
2. Plenty of Fish - 80% scammers & 20% from married woman wanting short term sexual gratification
3. Polygamy.com - One legitimate response, which was not a match for us. Very low female user count.
4. BiCupid.com - Low user count and again the main interest is in short term sexual liaisons.
5. Polyamorydate.com - Users are only interested in kink, fetishes and immediate sexual gratification.
6. Sister wives.com - low user count and high ratio of couples / males to females. One response which was not a match for us.

In addition to the websites listed above, we must have tried half a dozen others which were geared towards monogamous relationships. In every instance it was a matter of receiving no response or being pawed at by a scammer.

Although my research reveals that certain dating apps have success in certain global cities, by example Tinder in Rotterdam, NL, it’s overwhelmingly obvious that using on-line dating as a mechanism to meet a lady who is open to a plural relationship is slim to none. Don’t waste your time or money.

I’ve come to the conclusion the only realistic path to success is to do this the old fashioned way .. meet someone in person and build a friendship!

However, this is mired with its own unique set of challenges. My wife and I recently met a lady who we are hoping God sent our way, but we have no idea if she is open to our way of life. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time would ruin any prospect of a relationship.

In summary ..

Unless you are fortunate enough to live in one of those special cities where a large number of female users are open to plural relationships, don’t waste your time or money with online dating apps and platforms.


Special request to fellow members:
Please pray for myself and my wife, so that God speaks to the heart of the special lady we met.

As you may very well have recognized, I have reached a point of immense frustration.

Hope my little rant helps someone!
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Allo Allo !Well Versed And Well Read ..
It Is Truly A Shortcoming That Most Polygamy And Polygyny Sites Are Not Only Filled With Those Of Alterior Motives But The Site Founders Are Geared More Towards Making Money Than Providing Possible Prospects. So
I Concur With You And Your Investigative Findings. Unfortunately It Led To Disappointment But Yet Discovery ... Still If We Truly Are Destined For "A Polygynous Lifestyle" And We Are Emersed In Our Creator And He Is First In Our Lives ... (It Is Written : " Delight Yourself In The Lord And He Will Give You "The Desires Of Your Heart") ...
 
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Everett Mendiola 3rd. said:
Allo Allo !Well Versed And Well Read ..
It Is Truly A Shortcoming That Most Polygamy And Polygyny Sites Are Not Only Filled With Those Of Alterior Motives But The Site Founders Are Geared More Towards Making Money Than Providing Possible Prospects. So
I Concur With You And Your Investigative Findings. Unfortunately It Led To Disappointment But Yet Discovery ... Still If We Truly Are Destined For "A Polygynous Lifestyle" And We Are Emersed In Our Creator And He Is First In Our Lives ... (It Is Written : " Delight Yourself In The Lord And He Will Give You "The Desires Of Your Heart") ...
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Regrettably, the motive for profit underpins most things in this world. All that is sacred, money cannot and will never be able to purchase. So, we enter the fray, often against our better judgment and seek glimmer of light in that dark place. Returning empty handed is hard and if we are wounded, more so. Despite this, some of us choose to forge ahead with the wisdom that fighting for the things we want, with endless persistence, ultimately results in success. God sets our course, but it is up to our determination to stay the path.
 
rockfox said:
A complicating factor here is those women most likely to be an exception to the norm are also the least likely to embrace poly.
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Very true. However, keep in mind the only constant during the course of our lives is that change is inevitable. It’s a natural process that we influence and change one another, the result of which becomes increasingly significant with the intensity of the relationship. It therefore makes sense to me that making acquaintances and developing those relationships are more important than the thing we wish to extract from them, which may very well happen consequently.
 
Be encouraged; God says He will conform each one of us to the image of the Son (Rom. 8:29), so we will all be changed. When we get home to glory we might not recognize a lot of people. :) ;)
 
frederick said:
Be encouraged; God says He will conform each one of us to the image of the Son (Rom. 8:29), so we will all be changed. When we get home to glory we might not recognize a lot of people. :) ;)
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I must presume that there must be some level of willingness to embrace change.
 
Along these lines thinking about the process of finding wives, the following passage came to mind:
Luke 14:16-23 (KJV) 16 Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many: 17 And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready. 18 And they all with one [consent] began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground.....yards yada yada......21 So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind. 22 And the servant said, Lord, it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room. 23 And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel [them] to come in, that my house may be filled.

Presumably, it was the beautiful people that had the original invites. They bailed, but he didn’t give up. He set his qualifications lower and got takers.
Verse 23 though, we probably should just skip that part.
 
Cap said:
But verse 23 is the great commission.
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Since we cannot physically kidnap anybody into the kingdom of Heaven, the word compel would seem to have a different meaning in the case of marriage.
Let’s just confine ourselves to inviting them.
 
frederick said:
Yes, I would thinks so but He will complete it when this corruptible has put on incorruption.
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Knock yourself out, that’s quite the plan that you have.
Can I sell tickets to the spectacle?
 
frederick said:
1 Cor. 15:51-58
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When she dies.
I’m not seeing how that makes her a good marital prospect, but it does parallel the idea of taking a wife that isn’t seen as perfect.
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
I can't help but picture "Pliable" from Pilgrims Progress... Lol
I don't think that's the kind of woman I want haha
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I come form across the great pond. I have no idea what that tv series is about, but understand the connotation is somewhat negative.

My meaning is someone who is willing to take instruction and improve herself, rather than give you instruction.. hahaha.
 
Sol said:
I come form across the great pond. I have no idea what that tv series is about, but understand the connotation is somewhat negative.

My meaning is someone who is willing to take instruction and improve herself, rather than give you instruction.. hahaha.
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TV series?
Oh my.
But then I imagine that the word pilgrim isn’t very popular on that side of the pond.
 
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