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Random Comments

In my understanding, it's partly because people simply don't get married until they've lived together for a fair amount of time already. All the early breakups occur "unofficially" and don't enter the statistics. Only the couples who are settled and likely to stay together for longer actually bother with the paperwork. It would be very interesting to see statistics on relationship breakup rates over time - but that's not recorded, it would be very difficult to compile.
 
Is that also due to declining marriage rates as well?
Also, those marrying choosing to reduce stress by have only one or no children?
Other factors?
In recent history (past 50 years), the divorce rate's primary driver has been females under 25 cutting bait; they account for the single largest cohort initiating divorce. The second most impactful dynamic has been that of the Baby Boomers, which has caused the divorce rate to peak or have its secondary peak within their age ranges, so now the secondary peak is above 65 years of age, with men only slightly more likely to be the ones initiating the divorces.

Yes, the marriage rate has gone down, but it doesn't track directly with the decrease in divorces; that is more driven by the Baby Boomers dying off, but also, while younger folks are more hesitant about getting married, those who do have a greater respect for marriage than did their parents. They grew up with the debris of failed marriages all around them; if it wasn't directly in their own lives it was in the lives of many or most of their friends growing up.

In any case, I failed to make a relevant point in my earlier post: if 2/3 of monogamous marriages make it all the way through, then it is only reasonable to expect that the success rate of polygamous marriages would be lower, because those marriages face so many more (in truth, mostly external) challenges. Therefore, a 50% success rate is actually not proof of failure for the structure as a whole. If we didn't live in a culture in which likely 90% of one's relatives and friends are committed to overtly or covertly destroying one's plural marriage, I suspect plural marriages would have a higher success rate than monogamous ones, if for no other reason than that they are going to predominantly be headed by men who desire marriage, whereas a very large percentage of men (and, to a lesser degree, women) are only reluctant participants in their monogamous marriages.

And having fewer children has not resulted in less parenting stress, because, for whatever reason, the average parent has heaped upon hirself such exponentially-increasing expectations for how they're supposed to provide for their (fewer) children that parents are more stressed out now about having 1 or 2 children than people were 60 years ago when they had 4-6.

The number one reason for divorce remains what it has always been: pure selfishness, with the straws that break the camels' backs being the same as well: money, sex and differences in attitudes about how to raise children. For all the attention paid to the whole equally-yoked issue, religious differences are way down the list.
 
My social worker is my best friend.
 
If we didn't live in a culture in which likely 90% of one's relatives and friends are committed to overtly or covertly destroying one's plural marriage, I suspect plural marriages would have a higher success rate than monogamous ones, if for no other reason than that they are going to predominantly be headed by men who desire marriage, whereas a very large percentage of men (and, to a lesser degree, women) are only reluctant participants in their monogamous marriages.
Excellent point!
 
If we didn't live in a culture in which likely 90% of one's relatives and friends are committed to overtly or covertly destroying one's plural marriage, I suspect plural marriages would have a higher success rate than monogamous ones, if for no other reason than that they are going to predominantly be headed by men who desire marriage, whereas a very large percentage of men (and, to a lesser degree, women) are only reluctant participants in their monogamous marriages.

Wow. When I chose this life my mom was crazy against it and I ended up losing all of my friends including my best friend Carmen. None of them could accept this and they hated it even more when I announced I was pregnant.

Christie used to say that these people hate us for choosing this life because they're hurt that we rejected their life.

It is a very cult like behavior to shun anyone who leaves the cult. And in many ways that's what modern society has become is a cult.
 
Christie used to say that these people hate us for choosing this life because they're hurt that we rejected their life.
Same with when you have larger numbers of children than the norm. People assume that you're judging their choice to have fewer, you've rejected their way of life, and that you think you're better than them. So they hate you for judging them, even though you aren't and it's all in their own head.
 
In my understanding, it's partly because people simply don't get married until they've lived together for a fair amount of time already. All the early breakups occur "unofficially" and don't enter the statistics. Only the couples who are settled and likely to stay together for longer actually bother with the paperwork. It would be very interesting to see statistics on relationship breakup rates over time - but that's not recorded, it would be very difficult to compile.
Actually, all that stuff gets empirically studied. People tend to go through a significantly longer period of sowing their wild oats than they did 50 years ago, but those who live together once that oats-sowing dies down have the same substandard level of success keeping their relationships together that those who shack up have always had, with the deciding factor being that, among those who live together without getting married, those who bear children after moving in together have a significantly greater likelihood of success than do those who get pregnant before they cohabitate. I think the unifying field theory here is that higher levels of commitment are correlated positively with higher levels of success re: longevity of relationships.
 
Same with when you have larger numbers of children than the norm. People assume that you're judging their choice to have fewer, you've rejected their way of life, and that you think you're better than them. So they hate you for judging them, even though you aren't and it's all in their own head.
For a while in our previous (Pennsylvania) home, the leftist biology teacher across the street wouldn't let either of his daughters play at our house (which, with its large flat driveway was the hub of activity for our neighborhood and the one behind us) and openly told his daughters and others it was because of our sin of having more than the 2 children a couple should have to avoid straining the planet's resources.

Eventually, he caved, probably mostly because he got tired of coming home to see his daughters moping around by themselves on their front porch while the 'party' was in full gear over at our house.

That didn't stop him from his normal practice at school of shaming any students who came from 3+-children families.

All of this is further evidence that progressivism is a religion.
 
When your internet connection is throttled back to dialup speeds, one of the few websites that actually works fine is Biblical Families.
Good to know, but what are we going to do if the electrical grid becomes nonfunctional?
 
That Catherine Austin Fitts video posted on the Presidential Politics thread yesterday inspired a huge conversation between Kristin and me today. The woman has credibility, and she describes a planned future in which all of us superfluous folks are going to be targeted for slavery, with our betters deciding how much electricity we're permitted to consume (and how much if any internet or computer time we'll have access to). Homing pigeons isn't a bad idea, but everything has me thinking that, after our 1.5-year temporary hiatus here in Fort Worth, our eventual home needs to be way off the beaten path, and I'm going to be working toward disconnecting myself from the systems that have great potential to be used to manipulate my personal freedoms.
 
Back to random comments for #30 in a series of 30 truly random expressions that I'm surprised no one has demanded an explanation for:

I try to swallow at least three times a day.

Most days, anyway.

Sometimes I forget.
 
Back to random comments for #30 in a series of 30 truly random expressions that I'm surprised no one has demanded an explanation for:

I try to swallow at least three times a day.

Most days, anyway.

Sometimes I forget.
You must explain. I'm confused.
 
Just my unscientific opinion but the families that do the best are led by a husband who grew up in the life. The men from outside have the hardest time with it. Even then it's a challenge and between social workers (Grrrrr!), legal issues, money issues, and then addictions it's not easy. And if there's no faith in God to tie the family together it gets even harder and I'll be fair to say that about church families. The families that have a real faith do the best.

I'd say a bit more than half of poly families I've seen make a success of it.

Thanks for the answer!

Around half succeeding is much much better than I'd expected.

It's also better than the average rate of monogamous marriage because given the same rate of failure (for any one wife of 50%) then the chance of at least 1 leaving is 75%.

Why do you think men who grew up in this are better able to manage?
 
This is true.

But, in my limited experience, those who are successful are busy being successful and not using their excess time on forums.

There is an old thread here about this but most failing was my observation from the testimonials here, and when I brought this up the consensus was that this observation was accurate.

But let this stand as an encouragement to anyone with successful poly marriages to take 15 minutes and write a testimonial about it for the forum so others can see it CAN be done.

I don't know about polygamous marriages, but the eventual divorce rate reached its highest point in the early 1980s, at which time it was about 50%. Since then it has been declining and now stands at about 33%, or 1 in 3 marriages will likely end in divorce. This should decrease significantly within about 20 years, though, as the Baby Boom cohort dies off.

33% in certain denominations. The average failure rate in the general population is between 40 and 50% IIRC. It won't get better as Baby Boomers die off because the younger age cohorts are running higher than the Boomers at same age, as much as 10% more. And that only counts licensed marriages. And how much worse would it be if you take into account all the long term cohabitating couples (many whom are effectively married and raising kids together) amoung whom the failure rate is probably higher?

A sin of having more then two children!!??

That is mind boggling really @Keith Martin . Yet people still fool themselves into thinking this is not a theocracy of baal/humanism?

I've probably gotten more pushback from Christians for having more than 2 children than for any 'sin' like behavior.

But that's just par for the course, as not sinning and obeying God's commands has always gotten me massive push-back. I can't think of a single sin I've been confronted over. But my choices to not sin? Many times.
 
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