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Random Comments

. . . and yet another random comment to get us back on track . . .

Most things are better eaten than forgotten.
 
My eldest son is fascinated by a random fact about dragons & dinosaurs. Most ancient tapestries, paintings and carvings of dragons look very much like modern-day dinosaurs, with one crucial difference. The ancient illustrations usually have ears, usually pointy ears. Modern dinosaur reconstructions assume they're like lizards and have no ears. Ears don't fossilise so there's no way of knowing which is correct. But imagine a sauropod with pointy ears. That might be what they actually looked like.
 
I think the reasoning is that dinosaurs were big birds and birds don't have ears like we do just earholes in the sides of their heads.
 
I can find my ears, but I have to look.

If they're not there when I'm fossilized, will my immortal soul be able to hear?
 
Keith Martin said:
I shall start with a cliché that has over time pretty consistently come to mean the exact opposite of what the words by themselves would imply: With all due respect to both @FollowingHim and @Daniel DeLuca, I 'walked' away from reading the above post last night more unsettled than I was before reading it. At the time, I couldn't put my finger on what was unsettling about it, but another typical night of brain fertilizer decaying into nightmares and some daytime musing on the subject brought it into focus for me: I simply don't agree that Daniel stepped over the line from funny into creepy, and in regard to whatever it was he was doing that I've been jousting with him about, what I've concluded was the most unsettling to me was that I never felt like I needed to be protected from Daniel or what he's been writing about my daughter! Actually, quite the contrary! In a way, if anything, I was warning him (or anyone else who might think that, at age 18, Holly Hannah would magically become new meat for any of my fellow polygamy wannabees, the disadvantages of approaching her with such a proposition would probably outweigh the advantages. Furthermore, in the midst of the back-and-forth about it, I was pleased to be given what I perceived to be an open door to address a couple of concerns on these topics that are always on my back burner.

Actually, I don't know if there even is such a line between funny and creepy. To me, there is a continuum from funny to, well, just not funny, the extreme of which can be uncomfortable to the extent that one cringes for the person who has attempted to be funny. But creepy? That's a different continuum, and the closest I can determine from talking with people about it is that the opposite end of creepy is, well, socially-acceptable, which is highly arbitrary, being dependent on the group defining what's acceptable. 'Creepiness,' therefore, becomes a subjective pejorative term intended to persuade those who are doing something the group wishes they wouldn't do to become uncomfortable enough through their desire to seek social approval to stop doing that something. In this case, being called creepy is intended to shame older men into refrain from encouraging much-younger (whatever that arbitrarily means) women into forming intimate alliances with them.

That was not my intention in any of the arguments I was making in discussing this with Daniel.

I made some arguments against putting all of one's eggs in a virgin-fantasy bushel basket, but I'm going to assert right here that labeling what Daniel may have been doing (I'm not even asserting that he was definitely either promising or pretending that he was going to hit up my daughter) is an unfortunate form of agism (one may note that I didn't argue with Daniel about the whole Abraham and Keturah match-up) and/or a reflection of unconscious absorption of the anti-patriarchal biases/hatred/dismissiveness surrounding us. @Daniel DeLuca and @FollowingHim, the two of you are mere pups compared to me and some of the other geezers in this organization, but I'm going to start by asserting with very firm conviction that there is nothing whatsoever creepy about someone in your age range having even profound attraction to a young woman the age of my daughter (16) -- or even to a young woman younger than she is. Our society has rules about when and under what circumstances we can form intimate relationships with young women; in most cases in America, it's actually prohibited to marry or be sexual with a young woman under the age of 16, so, yes, that might make it against the law, but being against the law is far from defining the desire to do it as being either wrong or creepy or abusive or otherwise detrimental to either party. I'm 66, and I can promise you I still have no problem imagining how it might be appealing (at least in certain regards) to be wedded to some of my daughter's like-aged friends. I refuse to accept that, at some vague certain age, I became someone who fit into a category that declared me to be creepy because I continued to have the same desires I've had since I was a boy or a young man, and I thoroughly encourage the rest of you to refuse to knuckle under to that propaganda. My argument against getting all primed for the next wave of newbie virgins was primarily based on likelihoods, and I recognize that the following falls into the highly unlikely category, but I can guarantee you that, if a 17-year-old family-less young woman approached me with statements indicating that she had concluded that her best path in life was to become part of my family, I would definitely give the matter very serious consideration, of course weighing all the pro's and con's, but I would not dismiss it out of hand simply because I knew that a large number of people would declare that it was creepy! I laugh now as I contemplate the intensity of the ongoing connection between Kristin and me and remember how many people proclaimed to us back in 1987 that my marrying her was 'creepy,' etc. The connection was clearly there, she was the one to talk me into marrying her, and all the opinion-holders surrounding us weren't about to be the ones who would live our lives for us without each other, so their judgments amounted to being worth squat -- and I encourage everyone here to take that same attitude toward a culture that defines those who are older as creepy just because their brains, their hearts and their libidos haven't decayed as rapidly as their skin, hair and joints.

And I can also promise you this, @FollowingHim: there is nothing about what @Daniel DeLuca wrote that would make me hesitate for a moment to either attend a Biblical Families gathering or bring my family with me. As mentioned, Holly Hannah can hold her own, and if she needs help, she has a father who isn't known for clamming up. Even if what Daniel wrote were to have given me cause for concern, that would only make me more likely to attend an event at which he'd be present, because I have faith that, especially with all the support surrounding us, there would be no better opportunity to really talk things through than at a Biblical Families conference. Sharpening iron here online has its value, but face-to-face opportunities have far more profound potential.
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Lol, @not known for clamming up” has to be one of the more finely crafted uses of understatement I’ve ever come across.
 
Oh my. I missed some of the posts here and just got done catching up.

Lots to say in response!

So there's the whole virgins and widows thing and I can speak to that with some first hand observations.

For starters, I recently discussed with a friend that I am starting to have concerns as my twin girls are approaching their teenage years. See, I have said many times that if I had life to do over I would have found someone when I was sixteen, got married, started having babies, and skipped the idiocy that was my life between 16 and 18. Now that my girls are heading towards their teenage years I have one of them who is hopefully headed to Hillsdale College where her amazing talents can be focused and the other is now talking about taking my advice and marrying at sixteen (legal here). My college girl Laura will hopefully stay on track but there's also the reality that she'll inherit her mother's hormones and start wanting a family. If so, that's her choice. Patty is definitely on track for motherhood at some point but I will say I wish both of them would hang on to being kids for as long as they can.

I'm a bit of a hypocrite because while I married a man 26 years older than me I think I'd want my girls to marry someone closer to their own age. But then my pragmatism kicks in and I don't think I'd argue if they met a good man who was established in life and who could provide them a good home right from the start instead of doing the usual newlywed struggles setting up finances, careers, and a home.

Further about the virgin thing I want to say that there are no unicorns who come to poly! Just my own observation but when a woman comes to poly from outside of the life she's got problems she's trying to get away from or she's trying to fill a need that isn't being filled for her in the world. I'm guilty on both counts and in very big ways and have long cringed when people want to think I was some wholesome virgin from a nice family when I sought out this life. I appreciate the compliment but the truth is I was a hot mess. The same can be said for every woman I've seen come to this life from outside. Hot messes every last one of us!

Not that there aren't virgins who choose the life. But 100% of those that I've seen all grew up in this and most all of them want to be a first wife and not a 2nd or 3rd. One exception I've seen is when bff's marry the same guy and that always looks like an amazing blessing for that family.

There's a saying that says If she's hot and single she's crazy! and there's solid wisdom in that and I know because I resemble that statement! :p

Widows are a thing. Widows from a poly family are an even bigger thing.

What do I mean? I mean that when a man dies and leaves two or more wives behind with kids the first/legal wife is usually going to do okay. But the 2nd and 3rd wives are going to want to find a new home ASAP. There's always kids involved.

Over the years I've seen two poly families lose their husbands and afterwards the widows and their kids quickly found homes. I think some people prefer women who are already proven to be good wives and mothers.
 
Well @MeganC I think it is encouraging to hear that a wild child like yourself was blessed by polygyny and has been a blessing to her family too.

I know of a young single mom who's baby daddy is much older, but sadly not good hubby material. It is one of those situations that cause us to think ....this is where poly might be the answer. I heard she is not opposed to the idea. I think single moms might best know how to appreciate a good man. Too many wives DON'T.
 
Walls impede my progress.
 
I've always known when to close my eyes.
 
The joys of volunteering. Try to go to bed early and get an emergency call.

Nice to be able to help people when they need it. :)

Most only take an hour or so....
 
Trying to learn how to use Wordpress.
 
Cap said:
@Keith Martin I'm calling you out, who you calling geezer?
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Anyone over 60, anyone with mostly white or gray hair, and anyone with a beard longer than his forearm . . . oh, and anyone with great-grandchildren, even if they don't qualify on the other counts!
 
Not everyone earns the title.
Many graduate this orb early.

Iffn ya own it, wear it with pride.
 
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