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Your husband's help

Your husband's help is (select all that apply):

  • Embarrassing to you because it's your job.

    Votes: 6 37.5%

  • Cute and harmless but unnecessary.

    Votes: 3 18.8%

  • A welcome blessing and bonding time.

    Votes: 13 81.3%

  • Worrisome because he could be doing his work instead.

    Votes: 1 6.3%

  • Expected and required.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Not that big a deal. It's just help.

    Votes: 1 6.3%

  • A test of faith and exercise in letting go.

    Votes: 1 6.3%
  • Total voters
    16
NBTX11 said:
I delegated it to her. I still have full authority. Maybe a poor choice of words on my part. I trust her so I delegate certain things for her to handle. I can’t do everything.
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That makes sense the way you describe it. But you also said SHE considers it HER domain. This is where I see a potential issue. You still have to answer for YOUR domain, even though you may have delegated a certain amount of responsibilities to her. If she thinks it's HER domain, she would feel justified in circumventing your authority and going directly to the pastor, counselor, or other unauthorized figure for answers.
 
B4DWrath said:
That makes sense the way you describe it. But you also said SHE considers it HER domain. This is where I see a potential issue. You still have to answer for YOUR domain, even though you may have delegated a certain amount of responsibilities to her. If she thinks it's HER domain, she would feel justified in circumventing your authority and going directly to the pastor, counselor, or other unauthorized figure for answers.
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You’re reading this completely wrong. I already said I used a poor choice of words. I’m in charge. You don’t know my home. She’d never circumvent my authority by going to someone other than me. We’ve been married for over 31 years. I know these things.

I’m well aware I answer for everything.
 
NBTX11 said:
You’re reading this completely wrong. I already said I used a poor choice of words. I’m in charge. You don’t know my home. She’d never circumvent my authority by going to someone other than me. We’ve been married for over 31 years. I know these things.

I’m well aware I answer for everything.
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You didn't say WHICH words were a poor choice. My bad. I've said enough.
 
NVIII said:
For the women only, please. Imagine a scenario: you are doing your normal chores, and your husband offers to help. You do not need the help, but he is helpful and not slowing you down.
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Its obviously his domain, he is de head of the household and he can do whatever he wants, but I would feel really pressured and even insecure if he did, it means that I am not efficient or good enough to fulfill my womanly role and keep the house as clean as he expect
 
NVIII said:
For the women only, please. Imagine a scenario: you are doing your normal chores, and your husband offers to help. You do not need the help, but he is helpful and not slowing you down.
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It works a bit different for us. We both work full time and I pull in more money as I’ve created a company. So that demands far more of my time. We’re actually struggling very hard with the idea of integrating some of these more traditional Christian concepts into our lifestyle. Most of the time I’m gone to work before him and get home after him so being a traditional housewife is something I like the idea of but don’t really have. We often share cooking. Mainly because he’s a phenomenal chef. But the more we read on here the more I wish we could restructure some things
 
Andy1 said:
It works a bit different for us. We both work full time and I pull in more money as I’ve created a company. So that demands far more of my time. We’re actually struggling very hard with the idea of integrating some of these more traditional Christian concepts into our lifestyle. Most of the time I’m gone to work before him and get home after him so being a traditional housewife is something I like the idea of but don’t really have. We often share cooking. Mainly because he’s a phenomenal chef. But the more we read on here the more I wish we could restructure some things
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Please don't ever look down on yourself or let anyone else look down on you for doing your husband's will, no matter what that is. And don't make the mistake of equating "traditional" with Christian. Christ broke all kinds of traditions in order to show Pharisees the heart of the matter. If your husband's direction is for you to pursue your company and him to do the cooking, then by all means build the best damn company you can and thank God for the opportunity to serve your husband in that way. You will, because it is your husband's will, be your husband's helpmeet and satisfy the purpose for which God made you, even if you have no children. If you are ever thinking wistfully of another life, consider the wide variety of work that the Proberbs 31 woman engaged in, and pray for strength and contentment.

On the other hand, if he truly wants to restructure, for that also you two will find lots of support here.
 
Andy1 said:
It works a bit different for us. We both work full time and I pull in more money as I’ve created a company. So that demands far more of my time. We’re actually struggling very hard with the idea of integrating some of these more traditional Christian concepts into our lifestyle. Most of the time I’m gone to work before him and get home after him so being a traditional housewife is something I like the idea of but don’t really have. We often share cooking. Mainly because he’s a phenomenal chef. But the more we read on here the more I wish we could restructure some things
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Nobody has it all figured out. You’re probably doing a good job. You’ll grow in to doing an even better job with time.
 
T
NVIII said:
Please don't ever look down on yourself or let anyone else look down on you for doing your husband's will, no matter what that is. And don't make the mistake of equating "traditional" with Christian. Christ broke all kinds of traditions in order to show Pharisees the heart of the matter. If your husband's direction is for you to pursue your company and him to do the cooking, then by all means build the best damn company you can and thank God for the opportunity to serve your husband in that way. You will, because it is your husband's will, be your husband's helpmeet and satisfy the purpose for which God made you, even if you have no children. If you are ever thinking wistfully of another life, consider the wide variety of work that the Proberbs 31 woman engaged in, and pray for strength and contentment.

On the other hand, if he truly wants to restructure, for that also you two will find lots of support here
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Thank you. That’s very helpful and uplifting!
 
I think a lot of good advice has been shared already. I would only suggest that you talk with your husband about what he sees as your family's ultimate goals. The pursuit of money is not a sin, it's putting the pursuit of money above serving God. I would also suggest that if your family goals are to build a family that limiting God's blessings until you achieve a financial goal could potentially put you in conflict with God's will. There's no doubt building a family takes financial sacrifices, but it doesn't mean poverty or going without. Just different choices. When I made the conscious effort to pursue God's will over mine own he gave me 4 kids in about 5 years lol. I only wish I would of let him drive earlier lol
 
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