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Your husband's help
- Thread starter NVIII
- Start date
I am curious why you would want to collect responses on this topic? Sounds like this is support for a discussion you would like to have with your own wife, assuming you are married. For me, I think the response would be different depending on the chore and other things going on at the moment. I many times like my husband's help but sometimes it rubs me the wrong way because he doesn't do it the way I think it should be done. Those times are an exercise in letting go for sure! 
This is mostly for curiosity's sake. I have asked my own wives for their opinions, which forms the basis for some of the choices here, but am curious what the emotional response is from a larger collective, and thought others might be too. I have my own conviction about the matter, but that's not what this is about. I'm certainly not going to be inserting it here.I am curious why you would want to collect responses on this topic? Sounds like this is support for a discussion you would like to have with your own wife, assuming you are married. For me, I think the response would be different depending on the chore and other things going on at the moment. I many times like my husband's help but sometimes it rubs me the wrong way because he doesn't do it the way I think it should be done. Those times are an exercise in letting go for sure!
PS: I'm adding that response to the choices!
Lol, I admire and respect you Julie but I’m giving you the fish eye right now!I am curious why you would want to collect responses on this topic? Sounds like this is support for a discussion you would like to have with your own wife, assuming you are married. For me, I think the response would be different depending on the chore and other things going on at the moment. I many times like my husband's help but sometimes it rubs me the wrong way because he doesn't do it the way I think it should be done. Those times are an exercise in letting go for sure!
LOL, @The Revolting Man I can certainly imagine that look from you but I am afraid I am at a loss of why? Was I reading too much into the poll? It's a gift.
@NVIII , forgive me for not remembering you were married. I appreciate the research then!
You’ve never appreciated anyone’s help in your life! You love work like a fat kid loves cake!LOL, @The Revolting Man I can certainly imagine that look from you but I am afraid I am at a loss of why? Was I reading too much into the poll? It's a gift.
Shhhh, don't let my bad traits be known. LOL
(I admit it. I am a worker (beaver) and have a bit of control issues.)
And for the record, I am learning to appreciate help in my old age!
There is something to be said for letting women do what they were created and designed to do as helpers. All tasks are the man's to get done; but by delegation she helps by doing some of his tasks so he can be freed up to do more of his tasks better.
Excellent point, actually. But this is just about the women's feelings about it.
Lo, I found your post. And I am your wife.
So, now, we see if my response is what you expected.I chose "a welcome blessing and bonding time". However, as with all things, there is nuance.
Almost every time, I'm very thankful for the help. I love to be together and working at something together is lovely.Occasionally, I am embarrassed. If I think, "I should have had this done already," then I am embarrassed that you feel the need to help me. I used to feel that way much more often, but I've been working to correct a habit of laziness in myself (it is a long process!), and so most often now, I know that I'm "behind" in my work due to circumstances out of my control.
It feels wrong to let my husband help with housework, cooking, laundry, any sort of homemaking. We don't have any babies yet, I'm practically climbing the walls looking for things to do sometimes. I personally find it embarrassing that he would help with anything, its my job to take care of him, whats the point of a homemaker if my husband can't come home and relax every night.
I adore the ritual of him coming home each night, delighting in how I've set the table, or a new recipe. Being able to help him destress from a long day, maybe a footbath or listen attentively and with an open heart to his day. I strive to have a servant's heart for my husband and hopefully our children, anticipating what he needs before he even knows it. I know each and everyone of his facial expressions, who wants a wife who doesn't strive to be her husband's pride and joy, an asset, proof that God blesses men's lives with wives.
So no, I don't want help, I want to be a wife.
I adore the ritual of him coming home each night, delighting in how I've set the table, or a new recipe. Being able to help him destress from a long day, maybe a footbath or listen attentively and with an open heart to his day. I strive to have a servant's heart for my husband and hopefully our children, anticipating what he needs before he even knows it. I know each and everyone of his facial expressions, who wants a wife who doesn't strive to be her husband's pride and joy, an asset, proof that God blesses men's lives with wives.
So no, I don't want help, I want to be a wife.
This might be nitpicky, but isn't it your domain, under which you have delegated her some authority? By calling it her domain, it makes it seem like you have abdicated authority, and her decisions cannot be overridden.
If she believes this, it can fuel rebellion should you decide to make changes.
You might be operating differently than it sounds, so I may be off.
Yeah it is his domain. She is tending or keeping it for him, stewarding for him. It is his house, his boundaries, and rules, in which he seeks God's help in sustaining.
“By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house ... ”
Hebrews 11:7
“And all the people departed every man to his house: and David returned to bless his house.”
1 Chronicles 16:43
“So Saul died, and his three sons, and all his house died together.”
1 Chronicles 10:6
Sometimes it is good too to see house in scripture, almost like family or kingdom. The concept seems to be more extended than just the physical walls and roof.
Naw, that’s backwards.I’ve heard statistically men who help with domestic chores have lower testosterone. Just sayin..
Statistically, men with lower testosterone help with domestic chores.
I delegated it to her. I still have full authority. Maybe a poor choice of words on my part. I trust her so I delegate certain things for her to handle. I can’t do everything.