Don't doubt you, but do you have the Mesopotamian law to recite?
Was it required demotion or permissible demotion or expulsion?
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Wives and resentment
- Thread starter Well loved wife
- Start date
Was it required demotion or permissible demotion or expulsion?
Sarah and Hagar were pretty much a mess.
Sarah thought it would be clever to have Abraham sleep with Hagar
Hagar thought lightly of/despised Sarah after she conceived
Sarah mistreated Hagar with no restrictions from Abraham until Hagar fled
God sent her back with promises for Ishmael
Sarah conceives and saw Ish mocking, sow asks for them both to be booted
Abraham gets pissed but God tells him it's cool
because even though it was a death sentence, God sustained them.
Which is to say that the lesser did not think it worth her while to remember her station and the greater had not an ounce of pity.
Sarah thought it would be clever to have Abraham sleep with Hagar
Hagar thought lightly of/despised Sarah after she conceived
Sarah mistreated Hagar with no restrictions from Abraham until Hagar fled
God sent her back with promises for Ishmael
Sarah conceives and saw Ish mocking, sow asks for them both to be booted
Abraham gets pissed but God tells him it's cool
because even though it was a death sentence, God sustained them.
Which is to say that the lesser did not think it worth her while to remember her station and the greater had not an ounce of pity.
That was a little harsh.....
I'm not understanding why Sarah is being thrown under the bus. Doesn't Hebrews 11 list her as approved by God? She may not have been perfect, but Scripture never condemns her... should we?
We are given some details on that story, but clearly we don't have them all.
We are given some details on that story, but clearly we don't have them all.
It kind of reminds me of the phrase to vex. I’m not certain how far to go with it but Isaiah 11:13 gives a good indication of expected initial attitudes and why those attitudes are unacceptable between sister wives. (FWIW the vex in Isaiah is the same vex used in Leviticus 18:18)
Ephraim is the first wife and she is not to envy her sister wife Judah. Judah is the second and she is not to vex Ephraim. Envy seems to me to be common reaction for a first wife. DH and SW are experiencing a very emotionally powerful bonding time that is a mountain top. Any woman would envy this, but for the FW, it evokes memories that she wishes she could relive. The attitude that results from the FW (and its inevitable actions) will cause an unwise, newer wife to act out in a way that would vex her SW(s). It could become a brutal downward spiral that could destroy the unity and love that initially existed. This is why the fruits of the spirit are so, so important, as well as understanding this envy/vex dynamic.
Hagar vexed Sarah and so it appears that Abram and Sarah did what was common in their culture which was to send her away. It is possible that Hagar was simply acting out her culture bias. (Either Jasher or Jubilees says that she was Egyptian).
Just talking about this with @Well loved wife. I think understanding this issue of envy/vexing is foundational to eliminating chaos in a Plural Family.
As I’m seeing it. Envy is a very natural emotive reaction from the FW and may be very benign or may not be. If consecutive wives are not aware or wise enough to understand her envy and its causes and intentions, it could create a reactive response that will vex the FW, either by intent and design, but, to be fair, could also be unintentional.
The eventual dynamic that will result from both envy and vexing is that it will create an adversarial dynamic between the affected wives which will then result in all parties trying to protect what’s “theirs”, and to strive to corral as much of the available “resources” as they can possibly manage, rather than to share the available resources (DH and his love, time and treasure)
And this, my friends, is the path to inconsolable jealousy between the wives.
As I’m seeing it. Envy is a very natural emotive reaction from the FW and may be very benign or may not be. If consecutive wives are not aware or wise enough to understand her envy and its causes and intentions, it could create a reactive response that will vex the FW, either by intent and design, but, to be fair, could also be unintentional.
The eventual dynamic that will result from both envy and vexing is that it will create an adversarial dynamic between the affected wives which will then result in all parties trying to protect what’s “theirs”, and to strive to corral as much of the available “resources” as they can possibly manage, rather than to share the available resources (DH and his love, time and treasure)
And this, my friends, is the path to inconsolable jealousy between the wives.
oops...That was a little harsh.....
@Verifyveritas76, you must have experienced this lifestyle before in a past life.
Genesis 25:12 says she was Egyptian.. I've often wondered if she was part of the gifts given by Pharaoh in Gen. 12:16 and bore a grudge from the beginning...
Some rabbinic thought interprets Gen. 21:9 to mean the 17 year old Ishmael attempted to sexually abuse 4 yo (ages, +/-) Isaac... essentially, Ishmael was carrying out, in some way, his mom's disdain for Sarah.
Great points @Verifyveritas76
A happy plural home requires wise and introspective women who want to build up their husband and his household.
I guess one question a wife should ask herself is, do I want to be a proverbs 31 wife or a proverbs 14 wife...
Proverbs 14:1 KJV
[1] Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
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It's in the code of Hammurabi.
Ecclesiasticus 26:6 But a grief of heart and sorrow is a woman that is jealous over another woman, and a scourge of the tongue which communicateth with all.
Gold!
There is something powerful there. A man who adds wives is literally building up his household. Hence the Bible commends wives as wise who embrace polygamy.
That is entirely different than the "no self respecting woman would go along with that" persphective @Daniel DeLuca ran into.
Dare I say also that the Bible sees adding multiple wives as wise and a blessing?
Id say, Dare I say also that the Bible sees wisely adding multiple wives as a blessing?
Proverbs 18:22 KJV
[22] Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
I figured as such, but do you have the line?
Probably in the 140's. Just do a word search on "wife". It'll be one of the first ones you come to.