• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Wives and resentment

Well loved wife

Well loved wife

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Female
http://journey-online.org/submission/
http://journey-online.org/headship/
I found this helpful. Everything he says isn’t accurate, it’s not all truth, BUT there are a few nuggets. I’ve seen families try to function with a bitter or resentful spouse, it’s rough to watch. It can creep in so easily.
In my quest to become a biblically grounded wife, I continually read on this topic.
A few other issues I have come across and am filtering through are narcissism, feminism, and understanding Designed gender roles.
The devil effectively oppresses many of us because we have beliefs, conclusions, and arguments that are based on lies, which work against our faith in God and his promises.
 
Last edited:
Well loved wife said:
In my quest to become a biblically grounded wife, I continually read on this topic.
A few other issues I have come across and am filtering through are narcissism, feminism, and understanding Designed gender roles.
Click to expand...
This is what personal growth looks like, folks.
Become the person/family that someone would want to walk with.
 
I’m jus gonna say, that’s an incredible woman right there. Your husband is a lucky man. He’s out hunting with the guys and you’re studying how to be a better wife.

I like it! I love it and want sum mo of it!

I’m selling limited edition tickets to this show! To qualify, you must be single, submissive, female, Christian, love God, kids, family.
 
Verifyveritas76 said:
I’m jus gonna say, that’s an incredible woman right there. Your husband is a lucky man. He’s out hunting with the guys and you’re studying how to be a better wife.

I like it! I love it and want sum mo of it!

I’m selling limited edition tickets to this show! To qualify, you must be single, submissive, female, Christian, love God, kids, family.
Click to expand...
You forgot about knowing how to cook.... especially making apple pie. Lol.
Ps. How much do these tickets cost? Just asking for a friend, wink.
 
Verifyveritas76 said:
A lifetime of exchanging submission, love and obedience for lots of love hugs cuddles kids etc.

Got someone else in mind? I’ll be home PDQ
Click to expand...
Oh, sure you’ll be here for her, but not me? Ha! I knew it! You’re going to love and want someone more than me:p:D

Now, seriously let’s look at envy and jealousy.
Anyone find it interesting that God is a God that is jealous of what/who is His and the Ten Commandments say for us not to envy? Learning about godly submission and roles has helped me see my Saviour so much more of an authoritative being then a feminized Jesus. We must humble ourselves before Him. As wives, before submission can really be a way of living -our hearts must be in humility towards God and our husband or fathers (if we’re still unmarried) Somehow in my mind they link together. Humility is of the heart, submission is handing over your life, period.(?)
Well, I better get back to work...
Wait, another thought- why would a woman choose to marry a man who’s been divorced, over a man that’s been married for years with a healthy, happy home? Is it culture or pride? Or both? This is what sparked my thoughts on humility.
 
Last edited:
Well loved wife said:
Wait, another thought- why would a woman choose to marry a man who’s been divorced, over a man that’s been married for years with a healthy, happy home? Is it culture or pride? Or both?
Click to expand...
That's a VERY good question to ask and one I've not seen/heard asked in that way before. One thing's for sure; there certainly is no biblical reason.
 
Well loved wife said:
Anyone find it interesting that God is a God that is jealous of what/who is His and the Ten Commandments say for us not to envy?
Click to expand...
God as husband can be jealous of us his brides. .... Ezekiel 23 and Jeremiah 3 describe the house of Israel and the house of Judah as two brides... Isaiah 11:13ish talks about the envy and jealousy between Judah and Ephraim, departing and the two finally coming together....

The lessons we learn in the small plural family setting will translate into a larger healing and restoration between the two houses.
 
I think jealousy is an ownership emotion. Wives are the husband’s, as in she belongs to him. It makes sense with the name change at the day of marriage...
So, we who are washed in the blood are Christ’s. The husbands emotion of jealousy couldn’t be counted as sin if we parallel it to God being jealous of His people. It’s the other bite of the fruit (deception) so to speak, when the verse in the NT ( 1 Chor 7:2& 4) is interpreted to say wives own our husbands. It doesn’t even make sense. How can a man own someone whom also owns him? So it’s an ownership thing.
Envy is an ungrateful, “you don’t deserve what you have, I should have that” attitude.

The main difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is the emotion of coveting what someone else has, while jealousy is the emotion related to fear that something you have will be taken away by someone else. (Copied from grammarmonster.com)
This definitely clears up a lot of what I felt in the beginning as we started talking about PM... I had a husband and he was going to be taken away by another woman... that’s where understanding my role as a wife has helped work somethings out in my mind and heart.
Perhaps this is elementary to many of you all...
 
Well loved wife said:
Wait, another thought- why would a woman choose to marry a man who’s been divorced, over a man that’s been married for years with a healthy, happy home? Is it culture or pride? Or both? This is what sparked my thoughts on humility.
Click to expand...
I think it depends on the reason for the divorce if his ex-wife committed adultery or was a non-believer and left him, he would be free to remarry in the Lord. There are biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage, and if I was single I would not discount a brother who had been divorced for biblical reasons.
 
Mojo said:
the emotion related to fear that something you have will be taken away by someone else.

That describes the first wife perfectly when she first hears of pm.
Click to expand...
I would definitely agree with this, but can’t help but wonder if this isn’t a portion of the fruit from the tainted mono only branch of the tree. I have found it interesting in the thread @Frank S put together how the reaction in a poly culture is radically different and opposite.

I remember one wife who encouraged her husband to get another wife so that the first could be seen as being married to a more influential man and so that she could have company and help with the house

In her culture the incoming wife wouldn’t be taking him away so there’d be nothing to be jealous over.
 
Well loved wife said:
The main difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is the emotion of coveting what someone else has, while jealousy is the emotion related to fear that something you have will be taken away by someone else. (Copied from grammarmonster.com)
Click to expand...

That really speaks to understanding the middle verses of Isaiah 11. The key verse below,

The envy also of Ephraim shall depart, and the adversaries of Judah shall be cut off: Ephraim shall not envy Judah, and Judah shall not vex Ephraim.
Isaiah 11:13 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/isa.11.13.KJV

What I love in that passage is seeing the two come together, get over the envy and vexation, and then work together to destroy both their enemies. Just as two brides resolving their mistrust and 'owning it' then building the house. Beautiful!
 
I just looked it up. That word for vex is the exact same word and usage as Leviticus 18:18

Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her lifetime.

Isaiah 11:13 is a great verse once you understand that they are both married to the Father per Jeremiah 3:8 and Ezekiel 23
 
Verifyveritas76 said:
Are they destroying them, or are they resuming their role as the wives of His youth and setting their house and maidservants in order?
Click to expand...
Good question... we do know that the Land is the promised house, and we know that parts of From survive and come into subjection. But also, clearly, parts are killed and completely removed, just as Israel was to cleanse the Land upon first entry.

There are parallels that must be studied and lessons only won through experience. .. the prophets wrote those passages to a plural walking culture that understood the illustrations.
 
Verifyveritas76 said:
I would definitely agree with this, but can’t help but wonder if this isn’t a portion of the fruit from the tainted mono only branch of the tree. I have found it interesting in the thread @Frank S put together how the reaction in a poly culture is radically different and opposite.

I remember one wife who encouraged her husband to get another wife so that the first could be seen as being married to a more influential man and so that she could have company and help with the house

In her culture the incoming wife wouldn’t be taking him away so there’d be nothing to be jealous over.
Click to expand...
Sarah also encouraged her husband to take another wife, but then something overcame her. Would it be both envy and jealousy in that case?
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
Dr. Luck points out that polygyny wasn’t the necessary cause of the problems between Sarah and Hagar, but rather it appears the necessary cause was Hagar’s bad attitude.
Click to expand...
It's a complicated narrative. Polygyny isn't the cause, but her human emotions did overcome her. We can't know for certain why, but Sarah did find fault in Hagar, but was it so egregious that it necessitated such drastic measures? Was Sarah overcome with the jealousy monster? We'll never know for certain, but I personally think that jealousy had something to do with it and Sarah may have trumped up the "bad attitude" charges.
 
Abraham and Sarah came from Mesopotamia where this was a common enough situation to become enshrined in the law. A second wife, previously a slave, was to be demoted back to slave or sent away if she asserted equality or supremacy over the first wife. This is also brought up in Prov 30:21-23...

21For three things the earth is perturbed,
Yes, for four it cannot bear up:
22For a servant when he reigns,
A fool when he is filled with food,
23A [e]hateful woman when she is married,
And a maidservant who succeeds her mistress.
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top