when to add a 3rd wife...?

[Jim an Apostle]

Something else to add to this discussion. Consider what should be in place in one's own life before taking a first wife. Then consider what should be the maturity and dynamic in play that would make adding a second wife practical. Of course it takes 'more' to have a first wife in your life than just being single and 'more' again to take a second wife and again 'more' (maturity and spiritual maturity) on everyone's part to add a third. many should not have taken a first wife, yet they do and the 50% divorce rate testifies to the lack of maturity usually on both parties. I love what I have read here before, (I think it was Andrew who said) if you want another wife become a better husband. So if you are taking a first or a fourth wife are you the husband and do you have the family dynamic that can handle it?

 

[rockfox]

I believe this is actually one of the main points that Muslims say that having 4 wives is the preferred number...

Its a common saying I've heard widely in different versions. Here is one I just found now:

The answer given by the Sudanese soldier in “Sahara” (starring Humphrey Bogart). When asked about this by one of the American soldiers, he answered: “If a man has only one wife, she gets lonely when he is away; if he has two, they fight all the time; if he has three, two of them will gang up on the third; but with four, everything balances out.”

 

[mystic]

My understanding is that in Islam four's the maximum rather than the ideal, based on interpretations of the relevant verses. Westerners who think otherwise may be drawing solely from this Hollywood film or people influenced by such sources.

When I brought up polygamy with the imam at our local mosque, nothing was said about the dynamics of particular number of wives.

Wikipedia's Polygyny in Islam article mentions various schools of thought.