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Suitor Sorting (Dating Daughters Thread Reference)

BiblicalLiteralist

BiblicalLiteralist

Member
IF a dating daughter is a fathers failure, what are some viable alternatives?

Arranged Marriage is one, what about a pool of qualified suitors, or even challenege accomplishers (Leah and Rachel, Caleb in Joshua 15:16, or Michal and the Phillistines)? Or do you think over exposure and to much attention may cause problems?

I suppose dating amongst a set apart community isn't as dangerous as dating in a secular community to identify suitors who may have chemistry with said daughter. I believe this is what the Amish does.

I could see the same go for an online community, to broaden the pool. I imagine something similiar to an online dating platform except the father would be the one managing the profile and reviewing the matches, reaching out.
 
BiblicalLiteralist said:
IF a dating daughter is a fathers failure, what are some viable alternatives?

Arranged Marriage is one, what about a pool of qualified suitors, or even challenege accomplishers (Leah and Rachel, Caleb in Joshua 15:16, or Michal and the Phillistines)? Or do you think over exposure and to much attention may cause problems?

I suppose dating amongst a set apart community isn't as dangerous as dating in a secular community to identify suitors who may have chemistry with said daughter. I believe this is what the Amish does.

I could see the same go for an online community, to broaden the pool. I imagine something similiar to an online dating platform except the father would be the one managing the profile and reviewing the matches, reaching out.
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Your biggest danger is daughter not having attraction for future husband. In that case she would be interested in doing anything with future husband except making babies.

Whatever model you prefer, it would be good to avoid most common failure rates of relationships.
 
Personally,
I am a fan of instituting a Bride Price like in Bible days. If a man had to pay the bride price we would see purity come back and we would see people working through tough marital issues rather than divorcing at the drop of a hat, also, if a man had to work to get a woman he might be willing to work that much harder to keep her as his woman.
 
I think, statistically speaking, it’s not the men who need to be incentivized to stay married especially with polygyny being an option. It’s women who file for divorce in a majority of cases. We have a bride price already. If a man divorces a woman, she basically gets everything he owns, including his children. At this point a dowry might be more appropriate to incentivize men to take the risk of marriage 😉
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
I think, statistically speaking, it’s not the men who need to be incentivized to stay married especially with polygyny being an option. It’s women who file for divorce in a majority of cases. We have a bride price already. If a man divorces a woman, she basically gets everything he owns, including his children. At this point a dowry might be more appropriate to incentivize men to take the risk of marriage 😉
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Payment at contract end instead of start.
 
ASyers41 said:
Personally,
I am a fan of instituting a Bride Price like in Bible days. If a man had to pay the bride price we would see purity come back and we would see people working through tough marital issues rather than divorcing at the drop of a hat, also, if a man had to work to get a woman he might be willing to work that much harder to keep her as his woman.
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By the way, I have just read Twitter thread saying usual method was men acquiring wife, they going for wealth.

Here idea is to go opposite. Should man go into debt to buy wife?

And think of social stability if most men before 30s/40s will be without sex. This is most warlike population with zillion reasons for overthrow of social system.
 
If we did it according to the way Scripture has it laid out where the father is charge of who his wife marries there would be a lot of provision for her. See in today’s culture women are used for sex and discarded and this is not what God wanted when he put a father in charge of his daughters. He had veto power over any decision his daughter made this would make things easier than the current method where a girl picks whoever she wants and it ends in divorce because she is with someone God never intended for her to be with.
 
ASyers41 said:
Personally,
I am a fan of instituting a Bride Price like in Bible days. If a man had to pay the bride price we would see purity come back and we would see people working through tough marital issues rather than divorcing at the drop of a hat, also, if a man had to work to get a woman he might be willing to work that much harder to keep her as his woman.
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If a man paid 7 years wages for her but still allowed her to file uncontested divorce, he would be the slave to her wishes. It is more than the bride price. Imagine paying $500k for a woman?!!
 
Of course the divorce courts don’t care, this is why the government has no business in Marriage and honestly it was never their job in the first place. Also, the reason I say we go back to a bride price as instituted in the Bible is that men would make sure their daughters are staying pure and most men would pay the cost for a virgin bride
 
ASyers41 said:
Of course the divorce courts don’t care, this is why the government has no business in Marriage and honestly it was never their job in the first place. Also, the reason I say we go back to a bride price as instituted in the Bible is that men would make sure their daughters are staying pure and most men would pay the cost for a virgin bride
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End income tax and government will lose their interest in controlling marriage. Seriously, until the advent of income tax there was no government control of marriage in every jurisdiction.
 
BiblicalLiteralist said:
IF a dating daughter is a fathers failure, what are some viable alternatives?

Arranged Marriage is one, what about a pool of qualified suitors, or even challenege accomplishers (Leah and Rachel, Caleb in Joshua 15:16, or Michal and the Phillistines)? Or do you think over exposure and to much attention may cause problems?

I suppose dating amongst a set apart community isn't as dangerous as dating in a secular community to identify suitors who may have chemistry with said daughter. I believe this is what the Amish does.

I could see the same go for an online community, to broaden the pool. I imagine something similiar to an online dating platform except the father would be the one managing the profile and reviewing the matches, reaching out.
Click to expand...
In my opinion, dating is learning how to get a divorce. You allow children to have boyfriends and girlfriends in grade, middle, high school, and college. They fall in love and break up, fall in love and break up throughout ALL those years, then they get married, and when things get bad we change the word from break up to divorce.

Like many have said, we NEED to get back to the Bible. We need to let fathers, with the help of his woman, prepare HIS children for marriage.
Fathers need to train their sons to be YaH fearing husbands
Ephesians 5:25 KJV Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
1 Peter 3:7 KJV Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Titus 2:6-8 KJV Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. (7) In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, (8) Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.

And Mamas need to train and teach their daughters to be Godly wives, and the father teaching them to be YaH fearing wives, because he is the priest of his house.
Ephesians 5:22 KJV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Titus 2:3-5 KJV The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; (4) That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, (5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
1 Peter 3:5-6 KJV For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: (6) Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

And let's not forget what Abraham did for his son, read Gen. 24 for the whole story.
 
ASyers41 said:
Of course the divorce courts don’t care, this is why the government has no business in Marriage and honestly it was never their job in the first place. Also, the reason I say we go back to a bride price as instituted in the Bible is that men would make sure their daughters are staying pure and most men would pay the cost for a virgin bride
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The bridal price for a virgin also benefits the daughter’s family. Her loved ones. Versus what happens today - she gives it away after a few dates and with no marriage proposal.

Also, let’s say the bridal price was $10,000.00 - maybe fathers would actually be fathers when it comes to raising their daughters. Which means having her wear modest clothing in public, being pure and wise, and submissive/loving to their husband.

And of course, no marriage license with the state. Otherwise, you can likely kiss your bridal price goodbye, and probably half of your wealth. The state transfers all power and authority to the wife. Uncontested divorce + she gets the children + half of the man’s wealth. What a satanic system. And of course, the fruit of that satanic system is broken families, and broken children.

Here in Babylon - the state makes the woman the head. She holds so much power and authority that pastors will betray the Word of YAH; because of fear of either what their own wives would do to them; or the backlash from the other wives in his congregation. Today’s church is full of ashtoreth worshippers, and men submissive to her.
 
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OttoM said:
Versus what happens today - she gives it away after a few dates and with no marriage proposal.
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You just described the vast, vast majority of women and even “Christian” women. Biblical men are left combing through an absolute mess for wives. Women that have been thoroughly used by men and have seed galore in them. All with some type of excuse as to why. That’s the number one thing I found out that I wasn’t totally aware of when I started looking. Sorry, not sorry for telling the truth.
 
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Edward said:
In my opinion, dating is learning how to get a divorce. You allow children to have boyfriends and girlfriends in grade, middle, high school, and college. They fall in love and break up, fall in love and break up throughout ALL those years, then they get married, and when things get bad we change the word from break up to divorce.
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Yep. Divorce training school.

I never wanted to do that. ..and I didn't.

My mom and dad taught us that you 'date' to find a partner for marriage, and watching how someone interacts with others tells you more about him than one on one dates. We were also told that you marry who you date in many cases, and we shouldn't date a man we wouldn't consider for marriage.

My dad didn't want veto power....he wanted us to choose carefully.....prayerfully. Both my parents felt we were the ones that had to live with who we picked.

All five of us waited for the man we married....and are still married. ..at least 15 years and counting.

I heard that a civil war general once advised a young mother of a son to "Teach him to deny himself."
I think a big reason marriages fail is the expectation that if you are with the "right one" it's easy street.... and the relationship is effortless.
I never found it hard to stay with my husband. He puts his faith and family ahead of his own pleasure....and is a hard working man. I have often wished I coukd make his life easier and have always done little things for him like pulling off his boots and massaging those tired feet. (Thanks dad for the good training)
It is still at times challenging to be a partner and parent. It's what we do in those times of growth and testing that teach the most!

Let's teach children to be serious about life and relationships.....and remember that the Fear of YHWH is the beginning of wisdom. If we parents show that we value what He wants....our children can follow our example.
 
I’m going to say it because well it needs to be said not all men are marriage material either. When I was looking for a husband I talked to a man who claimed to have over 300 sexual partners since becoming a believer and that is just as sickening to me as a woman whoring around is to frank about it. I was absolutely appalled that this man saw nothing wrong with doing that when the Holy Spirit is supposed to reside in you as a believer. No one is teaching on either side of the aisle that men should be practicing purity too.

As Jolene so eloquently put it when someone is dating with the purpose of marriage it is a serious thing that should never be entered into lightly as this is supposed to be an everlasting covenant that only God himself should dissolve.
 
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