bobnsandy said:
I couldn't agree more, Bob. And if I gave the idea that I thought it was, then I failed miserably to convey my intent. It seems I must have, and I'm truly sorry.
I was intending to address the issue of whether I would think that it was nobler or more pleasing to God to erect a no-sex barrier, and whether Patriarchal Leadership would fill the need on it's own. My intended answers were No and No. *grin*
Having said that, I agree with your statement and understand your situation. Yet, the greater issue, to my point of view, is the sense of connection and BELONGING. I keep coming back to that. And it seems to me that erecting a barrier against it, refusing to participate in all possible physical affection, prohibits that sense of absolutely belonging.
Let me illustrate it with your own situation with Sandy, if I may. From what you said, y'all do a lot of snuggling at present. Excellent! I'm guessing that you guys might also share a bed at night. At a guess, there isn't a particular need for "modesty" between you. You probably hug and kiss and hold hands. You BELONG to each other, and doing those things works just fine to keep that sense alive when a more complete union isn't possible.
Now I ask, would you engage in all those activities with someone to whom you were not married? Someone who you had just "taken under your wing"? I'm sure you wouldn't.
On the other hand, if you did marry her, but then on your wedding night said, "Oh, btw, I will love and care for you forever, but WON'T have sex with you because I think it is nobler and more pleasing to God, and after all, I don't NEED to sire any more children, although I'm perfectly able to and, as you can see, "ready". However, I'll save that "readiness" until I can expend it on my first wife alone!" How long would that marriage likely last? I'm guessing until the courthouse opened in the morning!
OTOH again, if you were diabetic, and things just didn't work right anymore, but she chose to marry you anyway, knowing that you would fulfill her needs in whatever ways you COULD, that again would be a different issue. No artificial moral barrier is involved. The sense of belonging is intact.
Ok. Those are my thoughts anyway. *grin again*
