23 years
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Prayer request Meeting the Pastors
- Thread starter Gary Slaughenhaupt
- Start date
And in that time, they haven't been able to discern your character and quality of husband? Your fidelity to scripture? Your Berean love of knowledge? I'm wondering if they are trying to be White Knite heroes sweeping into private matters they have no business being involved in. Are they insisting on any certain action?
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Behold Ezekiel 34!! The wicked shepherds who feed themselves on the sheep... God. Will. Judge!
Of course...
a. To begin to meet – regularly and frequently – with another man in a fully-accountable relationship. (We strongly suggest that it is someone of our choosing!)
b. To cease all reading/ studying/ researching/ and perusal of all books/ journals/ magazines/ literature/ and websites that reflect the polygamist, “Christian Patriarchy”, point of view / way of thinking/ or manner of bending the Scriptures to this line of argument.
c. And Grace to, when the man you are accountable-to agrees that you are ready, begin intensive marriage counseling. (We strongly suggest that it is a counselor of our choosing.)
(Till then we will suggest that Grace places herself in the care of one or more godly women. We will speak to her about this and offer her our suggestions for whom these ladies might be.)
d. To understand that these “imperatives” may not be all that we conclude are necessary to rebuild your trustworthiness with Grace and your marriage to her. That you sought us out, and submitted yourself to us, is a very hopeful sign! We have no other agenda than the restoration of yours and Grace’s marriage.
I was highly respected. Two weeks before this I was asked to be a deacon.
I cannot begin to tell you how much that pisses me off. I would immediately remove myself from that fellowship and make a greatshow of dusting off my shoes as I left. Literally, I would take my shoes off and POUND them loudly on the steps before leaving.
I am torn. I still have respect for him. Trust, not so much now. We will see how well he handles my reply. I tried to make it as gentle a rebuke as possible, but still, it is a rebuke.
And all of this because of a difference of opinion of a particular doctrine/teaching of scripture? Is there a constitution or articles of faith and practice they are referencing?
You have not taken another wife, nor have you been looking? You are just saying that you don't believe it to be unscriptural?
I can't remember your Introduction on here. Did you tell your wife you were looking, or thinking of taking another?
Are they asking her to leave you and go under the care of another woman, or are they just suggesting she counsel?
You have not taken another wife, nor have you been looking? You are just saying that you don't believe it to be unscriptural?
I can't remember your Introduction on here. Did you tell your wife you were looking, or thinking of taking another?
Are they asking her to leave you and go under the care of another woman, or are they just suggesting she counsel?
I did not say I was looking but I did say I had the desire to have another wife and more children. I also talked about God designing men to still be able to have more children beyond the time a woman could. I said I saw these desires as no different than a woman wanting to have more children.
I said that the Lord would have to provide the opportunity but that I thought it was unlikely. I believe this is what has been blown into the adultery of the mind accusation.
I believe I have been fairly consistent with what I have said to my wife and the pastors.
The pastor agreed with my wife that she has a biblical justification for leaving and that I basically gave her no other options.
Well the pastor has convinced me of one thing. I had argued that this was a minor doctrinal difference and we should be able to agree to disagree. Now I am convinced that this is serious and is the root cause of the sickness in the body.
Incredible.
And the biblical justification is......?
Don't tell me...It comes from Matthew 19. Wait. That wouldn't work.
And Paul encouraging the believing wife to not leave the unbelieving husband won't work.
I could see them telling her to leave you AFTER you found a wife, but for now, she is justified for leaving you because you have..."bad thoughts"? How many of these leaders of your church would be able to cast the first stone, including the Pastor, when it came to "bad thoughts".
Incredible
As unbelievable as this seems, this is similar to my experience. May God strengthen and uphold you. This will get worse yet.
Not Incredible, Absurd! He used I Corinthians 7:10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
And he didn't want to stop at 10? Of course.
The wiggle room is 11, but even then, they don't consider the implication as to why she is to remain unmarried?
And if you did take another wife while she was gone, but didn't divorce her, is he going to still hold her to #11 (remaining single)? Something tells me no.
Is he leaving open the possibility that she could reconcile to you after you might take a second? After all, there is no clause about second wives there. It doesn't say anything about you remaining unmarried while she is gone or unreconciled.
What does "in the care of" mean, to them? That is very loosely worded and could mean anything from "have some friends" to "no longer be under your authority".
Not sure but because of the preceding statement: " And Grace to, when the man you are accountable-to agrees that you are ready, begin intensive marriage counseling." I assume He has taken the liberty of placing her under another man's authority and unless that is her father, that is crossing a line.
He's also placing you under another man's authority, also crossing a line.
I would happily agree to a. I would demand that they prove that polygamist and patriarchy is bending Scripture, before considering b. Grace is not to be held accountable to any man other than you. If they were willing to choose a woman, vet the woman first, but being accountable to a man is a recipe for disaster. They should know better than to suggest this. She should never be alone with another man, in any form of counseling session! If they were suggesting that both of you were to be accountable to this man, in a private setting, that would be acceptable, but they are way out of line here, and I hope and pray that Grace will understand this. If they truly hope for the restoration of your marriage they should not be making any recommendations whatsoever, for separation at all. I would seek out other pastors, if Grace is willing to go along with this. These men have strayed so far from the truth, they simply cannot be trusted.
This could be word for word what the “church” told me right before they voted to kick me out and authorize my wife to divorce me. This is a kangaroo court and you have already been judged guilty, they have some genuflections they have to make but you are about to get railroaded. This thing will have an inertia of its own that can’t be stopped.
They’ve already claimed authority over your marriage and wife and even your thoughts. Strap in.