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Prayer request Meeting the Pastors
- Thread starter Gary Slaughenhaupt
- Start date
I am very willing to read your proof texts. I haven’t found them yet.
Just wanted to get an update on this. How are things going?
Still waiting for the church discipline. But the senior pastor has been preparing the congregation for it in his sermons. He preached on ''one man, one woman" on the Sunday I was attending my son's graduation. As far as my wife she has decided not too leave since my youngest son has decide to stay home for college and our adopted son has moved back home.
Praise God for His work in your wife's heart! That is what most of us wanted to hear. Does your church live stream or put it's videos on YouTube? Some of us would like to have a chance to rebut his sermon. I have always made it a point to respond to any pastor that spoke against polygamy, in any church service that I attended, lest my wife think that I am not able to do so, biblically. That is the last thing that you want from Grace, to think that your pastor is biblically correct on this topic.
True that! Heck the righteous outrage at the abuse of a man's concubine started a war that almost entirely wiped out Benjamin!
I think we need to present this case more often.
How often do kids end up with a sub-par stepfather because the mother did not know she had an option to be an additional wife of a more righteous man?
Sorry I'm late to this important thread brother.
I'll do my responses to folks in this post so as not to hog the thread.
Catching up... and praying for your family!
Your wife has decided "not to leave" because of a situation with your children.
Seems to indicate not a change in heart/mind/obedience but instead a change in situation (possibly orchestrated by G-d so the rest can happen).
Praying her heart/mind will change and she will see clearly. I'm praying for her to be filled with a selfless love and gratitude for you where she actually wants you to have more children as your heart desires, even if you choose not to pursue the possibility.
I'll do my responses to folks in this post so as not to hog the thread.
Catching up... and praying for your family!
This seems to indicate a direction for our prayers.
Your wife has decided "not to leave" because of a situation with your children.
Seems to indicate not a change in heart/mind/obedience but instead a change in situation (possibly orchestrated by G-d so the rest can happen).
Praying her heart/mind will change and she will see clearly. I'm praying for her to be filled with a selfless love and gratitude for you where she actually wants you to have more children as your heart desires, even if you choose not to pursue the possibility.
This is why the bible commands us to set up religious courts; the courts do have the power force divorce among other things. Ideally such courts are ruled by wise men, experts in the Law so they weigh any conflicting commands to the right outcome; this is what is meant by "where 2 or 3 are gathered there I am in the midst of them." Implementing such courts is a direct result of sola scriptura.
Separation can be a very useful tool in marital counseling. There are times when the wife does not appreciate the husband, taking him for granted. Having her stay in a guest room at a family member's house for 40 days can do a lot to realign a wayward perspective. This kind of medicine can only be prescribed with a husband's approval.
vows to G-d can be released by a religious court or a scholar; particularly vows made in ignorance (i.e. stating a vow which in spirit meant "I will obey your word ...[and never marry another woman]") where the spirit of the vow is clearly compliance to an ignorant position promulgated by a broken church. If you are certain G-d spoke to you and said "no way" then of course I am not trying to countermand that; I would only suggest when examining if it is indeed G-d telling you the vow must stand or it is your intellect informing you of a feeling of the holy spirit... there is a verse which says, "He will give you the desires of your heart." The word "give" also translates "put/place" hinting that when we are inline with His will, then HE is the one that causes our desires to manifest in the first place. Perhaps He has a plan for the unborn child from a future wife.
Yes, I kept thinking how cult-like this behaviour is. send in the thought police, "you must interpret all scripture in our way even if you have already agreed to conform to our behavior!"
Might I suggest you consider starting a parallel discussion in the private forum, since your pastors may be reading this (and reacting in tactic/strategy) to pre-empt suggestions made here? Never underestimate the drive of ego especially when there is cost (if the are wrong then they are answerable to those above them on this issue).
Was it her heart or her circumstances? In any case, you have been granted more time. Use it wisely to reestablish your control over your family.
I believe it is neither. I think it is a tactic.
A tactic designed to accomplish....?
To be able to do what she wants and still be provided for. I believe deep down leaving was too much responsibility but was her way of trying to get me to back down. Once I began making preparations to sell the house she was looking for an excuse to stay and I am glad she did. I am also glad it is such a good excuse. These two sons of mine are the finest arrows in my quiver. One has his heart set on being a pastor and the other comes from a criminal culture. I know that God is at work here, it is just a painful process.
Powerful words, my friend. The refiner's Fire is hot, but it produces beautiful work. God bless you.
Today I was prompted to do something I have never done before. I checked my dear wife's browsing history. Friday night she spent close to 2 hours on this site and hit every page of this thread.
You know when my wife finally came on board, she revealed to me that she had an account here, and that she was following everything that I posted. It worked out well. I sure do hope that your wife is understanding when she sees that you checked her browsing history.
Grace, if you are reading this, I hope you know that we all love you, and we understand that this is a particularly stressful time for you. It can be tempting for you to think that your husband doesn't want you or that he is not happy with you, and those thoughts are all lies from the devil. I hope you will consider getting an account here, and interacting with some of the ladies here, where you can express your thoughts and feelings and frustrations and perhaps even insecurities. God wants to use you and Gary to be a blessing to others, and wherever He leads, you do not want to be one of those people who like Jonah, told God "No!" If you sense that God wants to lead you in that direction, take some time to weigh the pros and cons of this lifestyle, because as you find an opportunity to be a blessing to someone else, you will find those blessings come full circle around to you as well.
The road that we have chosen to walk, is not an easy one for any of us. It would be so much easier to act like the rest of the world, with its broken marriages and destroyed homes! God calls us to be obedient to Him, and we know that He will bless us when we are. We may not know how that obedience will play out, and we most certainly don't know how or when God will bless us, but we know that He knows what is best for each and every one of us, and we can trust that He will work out all things together for good for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
The road that we have chosen to walk, is not an easy one for any of us. It would be so much easier to act like the rest of the world, with its broken marriages and destroyed homes! God calls us to be obedient to Him, and we know that He will bless us when we are. We may not know how that obedience will play out, and we most certainly don't know how or when God will bless us, but we know that He knows what is best for each and every one of us, and we can trust that He will work out all things together for good for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
When I married my husband I would say that the term concubine better applied to me than wife did. Wife is a title I eventually earned but early on I was definitely not equal to Shari (1st) and Christie (2nd).
It isn't offensive to me any more than if I joined the army and was a private instead of a general. You have to earn the title of general and whether you like it or not the titles of husbands and wives are also earned and not just bestowed upon someone by the mere ceremony of marriage.
She left yesterday and I found out when I received a summons saying she has filed for legal separation.
I don't know what to say @Gary Slaughenhaupt other than that we'll be praying for you.
Great stuff and so much wisdom.