Ketubah

[T-C's Rebeka]

While it is not a ketubah, I took a group class following a book, I Promise by Dr. Gary Smalley where he proposes a "I Promise Constitution" for a couple. He is not pro-poly, but the concepts of his book are useful.

While it does not dictate some of the details that a ketubah covers, it does cover spiritual and emotional expectations in a marital relationship. While taking the class I thought some of the concepts in the class would work well being added into a ketubah.

 

[Anonymous]

While I do agree with Pastor Whitten's stand, I do have one concern that I'm not sure has been addressed yet (I read most of the posts, thus far but not all). It concerns what happens if the husband dies and the 2nd wife's (or 3rd or 4th, etc) name hasn't been added to accounts, deeds, documents, etc. Simply leaving a will regarding one's wishes may not be enough since wills are successfully challenged in court all the time. What about adult children of the 1st wife who have not accepted their parent's lifestyle ? I can see that becoming an issue if they were to challenge a will. I'm not sure a 2nd wife would fare well in such a situation.
Blessings,
Fairlight

 

[Dr. K.R. Allen]

Fairlight,

Yes I see your points.

If the man dies then the children would legally go to the biological mother. If neither lady was the biological mother then the will that is legally filed and established would determine who and where the children go.

Adult children would have to honor the will as it is a legal court enforced document. They might indeed challenge it but wills have nothing to do with rather a child agrees with the parent or the will itself.

SO long as it can be proven the will was made by a sane person the person can leave whatever to whomever.

Also, there should be contingent plans in wills. In other words, if John Doe has Lindsey as first choice to who the children go to then there needs to be options B,C, and maybe D in place so just in case something goes wrong with option A other options are in place. The deceased cannot be asked and sometimes in such cases the will would then be useless if option A failed.

Outside of that though if the documents I have listed in place it would provide a fairly solid base for the family.

Wills, medical provisions, trusts, accounts established by all parties with agreement in how to hold those, asset agreements, damage clauses in a contract or cohabitation agreement, term life policies, and a Matthew 18 process are what i suggest at the minimum.

Can you think of any other coverage items that might be needed? Those are the ones I have thought of.

 

[sweetlissa]

We had a life insurance policy with each of us as beneficiary. When hubby was overseas, we each had a power of attorney so that we could handle financial issues in his absence.

Another thing to consider is one of those documents that allows hubby to be with you in the hospital and make decisions about your health care if you are not able to take care of your own.

SweetLissa

 

[Anonymous]

Lissa,

Those things are called "durable healthcare power of attorney."



CB

 

[sweetlissa]

Thanks CB. I couldn't think of it if my life depended on it.

I just know that I don't want my mom and dad making decisions for me and they would technically be my "next of kin". Nothing against them, but they are not a part of my daily life and therefore have no clue what my beliefs are or what my quality of life standards are.

SweetLissa

 

[Lysistrata]

Steve, this has become a wonderful exchange of ideas! Thank you for suggesting it!

There are many ideas and suggestions coming across this board that would be beneficial to future wives and families. Are the moderators of this board putting together something that can guide poly families through our legal systems? Since the purpose of this board is to support polygnous marriage then suggestions for forming a solid foundation to Christian poly marriage is a necessity.

 

[Dr. K.R. Allen]

Are the moderators of this board putting together something that can guide poly families through our legal systems?[/quote]

A lovely idea but sadly one that is easier said then done. A worthy goal but it is going to take a providential move of God that goes beyond the staff here to orchestrate something that can be a thorough & sufficient guide through the state and national legal systems.

Not because of a lack of desire on this end but because it is rather complex for the moment due to the transitional nature of the states and nation on the whole in regard to civil unions, marriage laws, questions concerning the specifics of how contract law can be precisely and properly used and applied in regard to unions that do not have per se direct legal sanction even though the executive branch and judicial branches do not enforce the legislative codes in certain areas. :?

At some point I do hope the Lord brings forth a few or several legal scholars that will place their expertise to this subject and with some combination of theology, practical knowledge of the lifestyle and its unique issues, and love for the brethren that will provide such a guide that you speak of.

A few do seem to be on the horizon. Though I cannot mention his name here publicly I am thinking of one right now that I think in time will be just the right legal scholar to tackle this subject in due time to build something like a biblical and legal guide. I think I might even send him the notes on this thread and see if he has an interest in a project such as this.

In time I think it will develop but we also have to be careful that we do not give "legal counsel."

Yet at the same time we do want to do all we can to give solid moral and spiritual ideas and do all we can to motivate others to those righteous ends. Part of that does include as well taking down ideas and putting on paper/print steps that the Lord highlights through the collective wisdom of those here posting on these subjects herein.