Jealousy

[Jim]

Sorry, What I am meaning to say is that godly jealousy or proper jealousy is the motivation for someone to protect, preserve, care for and secure those that are under his or her umbrella of influence. What we commonly consider jealousy is really envy and/or covetousness with a few other negative, destructive ingredients thrown in. I am a bit cloudy today, but I hope I have expressed my thoughts clearly. If not I will try again tomorrow.

Ok, let me see if I can create some type of headship chart. Then Godly Jealousy or proper Jealousy is when: God the Father is jealous over his children, God the Son (Jesus) is over the Church, the Church's over its members, husbands over their wives or families, and wives over their children. Then unGodly or inproper jealousy is when: children are jealous over their parents, wives over their husbands, husbands over their church leaders, church leaders over God the Son (Jesus), Jesus the Son over God the Father. Hope that's not confusing, if someone can help give a better illustration please do so.

 

[steve]

jim,
that looks good to me. of course, jealousy can be taken waaaay too far even when we have the responsibility for someone. like screening our wives calls, not letting her interact with anyone outside of the family or not on an approved list.

 

[Anonymous]

You got it Jim!!

 

[Isabella]

Sorry, What I am meaning to say is that godly jealousy or proper jealousy is the motivation for someone to protect, preserve, care for and secure those that are under his or her umbrella of influence. .

How is this jealousy and not being protective, preserving, caring or offering security? I don't understand?

B

 

[steve]

bels,
jealousy is the motivation to do those things, i cannot protect, preserve, and care for my neighbors wife in the same way that i can for my wife because she is not MINE.

 

[Isabella]

bels,
jealousy is the motivation to do those things, i cannot protect, preserve, and care for my neighbors wife in the same way that i can for my wife because she is not MINE.

So you mean jealousy = possessiveness? I don't get it? You can't protect are care because you love but just because you possess? Or are you defining jealousy as being watchful or careful? In which case are you not defining jealousy differently than how it is usually used and therefore it's inappropriate to compare it?

B

 

[Jim]

bels,
jealousy is the motivation to do those things, i cannot protect, preserve, and care for my neighbors wife in the same way that i can for my wife because she is not MINE.

So you mean jealousy = possessiveness? I don't get it? You can't protect are care because you love but just because you possess? Or are you defining jealousy as being watchful or careful? In which case are you not defining jealousy differently than how it is usually used and therefore it's inappropriate to compare it?

B

Good question Bel. I think that you can say that, God is possessive of his children Jn.10:28-30. But also because of fear, a Godly type of Jealousy can be a quick motivator, to protect those that we're responsible for and love 2Cor.11:2-3. How jealousy is usually defined: The fear of losing something that belongs to you. Why? Love, Jealousy is motivated by love. But, if LOVE becomes twisted and CONTROL becomes the motive for jealousy, then it is wrong.

 

[Jim]

jim,
that looks good to me. of course, jealousy can be taken waaaay too far even when we have the responsibility for someone. like screening our wives calls, not letting her interact with anyone outside of the family or not on an approved list.

Yea, that's not based upon a healthy type of love.

 

[Jim]

Jealousy in its proper application is when: God the Father is jealous over his children, God the Son (Jesus) is over the Church, the Church's over its members, husbands over their wives or families, and wives over their children.

 

[steve]

bels,
possession has more to do with responsibility than with possessiveness.
eg; i was jealous of my childrens health when they were young, so i required them to wear hats when it was cold. i cannot do that to the neighbor kids, no matter how much i love them.
my wife sometimes says yes to too many requests and can get run-down and feeling sick. in my jealousy for her health i may bring things to her attention and may even request that she drop or limit some of the things that she intended to do. i would not attempt to help manage someone elses life to the same depth especially if that person has a husband.
if it was a guy i would probably just tell him that he was being stupid.

 

[Isabella]

I am sorry Steve, I don't understand how this is jealousy rather than care? You may indeed care for neighbours children but you don't have the right to tell them what to do. I just don't think jealous is the right word to use, it seems arbitrary and.....wrong.

B

 

[steve]

aww shucks, bels.
it probably is not all that important

 

[Isabella]

aww shucks, bels.
it probably is not all that important

:lol: Ok, fair enough, I will let you off the hook!!!

 

[Scarecrow]

"i am trying to think of a case for "God(l)y" human jealousy and i cannot. can anyone help me out here?"

Dr. Allen gave one...men can be jealous for their woman/women...and if a man was working too much or spending too much time with his friends instead of being home his woman/women have the right to be jealous of his time...etc, etc...

 

[Jim]

"i am trying to think of a case for "God(l)y" human jealousy and i cannot. can anyone help me out here?"

Dr. Allen gave one...men can be jealous for their woman/women...and if a man was working too much or spending too much time with his friends instead of being home his woman/women have the right to be jealous of his time...etc, etc...

I agree, a man needs to be equitable with his time, especially with wives and children. But does a jealous woman have the "right" to react in a controlling way? Maybe it's his work schedule, time with other wives, children, someone in need, etc... ? It's one thing for her to seek fairness but another to usurp authority. Where is the line drawn?

 

[longspree]

Our family got into plural marriage by accident. In 1980, My wife had a dear friend who lost her husband to an car crash. They both are speech paths. Janeen, the friend became very depressed. She moved in with us to try to recover as she was unable to work for a year. After much prayer and discussion, my wife, Judith, and Janeen decided that she should continue to live with us but in marriage to me. We vacationed in Canada that summer of 1981 and we were married. In 1986, both Js found another woman who was alone and who had very experiences with men who treated her poorly. So, Barbara entered into our lives. She was a teacher at a local high school. We lost her this past May to cancer. It was very tough on all of us. Luckily her children have two other Mothers. The Js are on the look out for a third wife which is our preferred number. They think that they have found her. Hannah. Who is a CPA. God has been good to us as we live and walk in his light as he shows us the light. When Hannah came into a home for a week's stay, she was impressed with the tone of peace that prevades our home and our marriage. If she decides to join us, we will be married in the St. Nevus in Dec.

I do make sure that each of my wives has my attention, passion and devotion. They are confident in that and act accordingly.

Trouble is, we have to live in the shadows so to speak. But over all this works for me, my wives and our children.

God has blessed us with each other and his love abides in our home and within our marriage.

 

[Jim]

Our family got into plural marriage by accident. In 1980, My wife had a dear friend who lost her husband to an car crash. They both are speech paths. Janeen, the friend became very depressed. She moved in with us to try to recover as she was unable to work for a year. After much prayer and discussion, my wife, Judith, and Janeen decided that she should continue to live with us but in marriage to me. We vacationed in Canada that summer of 1981 and we were married. In 1986, both Js found another woman who was alone and who had very experiences with men who treated her poorly. So, Barbara entered into our lives. She was a teacher at a local high school. We lost her this past May to cancer. It was very tough on all of us. Luckily her children have two other Mothers. The Js are on the look out for a third wife which is our preferred number. They think that they have found her. Hannah. Who is a CPA. God has been good to us as we live and walk in his light as he shows us the light. When Hannah came into a home for a week's stay, she was impressed with the tone of peace that prevades our home and our marriage. If she decides to join us, we will be married in the St. Nevus in Dec.

I do make sure that each of my wives has my attention, passion and devotion. They are confident in that and act accordingly.

Trouble is, we have to live in the shadows so to speak. But over all this works for me, my wives and our children.

God has blessed us with each other and his love abides in our home and within our marriage.

It's good to meet you and thanks for sharing. It's a blessing to hear your testimony. I'm very sorry about your loss and pray for you. Jim

 

[Anonymous]

What a beautiful story! We look forward to getting to know you better. Perhaps at a retreat! They are truly wonderful. I've been to 4 now and each one is better than the last! Hopefully you and your ladies will find a place here with us where you can be who you are. Encourage them to get on the boards, especially on Tuesday nights for our ladies chats!

Great to meet you!

CB

 

[Doc]

Hey Jim!

Glad to see you posting on the forums....yes, we need to see you and your clan at a retreat! Please try to make it!

Doc

 

[Anonymous]

Here's an article on jealousy that we might find interesting. http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/ ... ?gt1=32092

Are you a jealous person? If so, do you at times feel like you're crazy or irrational for being so possessive? So greedy of your partner's affections, or so needy?

Jealousy is a very normal, human reaction to situations in which we feel like we're being ignored or usurped, as a Yale study mentioned in the recent book Out of Character: Surprising Truths About the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us indicates. Researchers set things up so that a group of two people — woman and a man — were asked to work on a problem-solving task.

The guy acted all charming and flirtatious — but when another female participant arrived, ten minutes late, he lost all interest in the first woman and focused almost entirely on the second. After about 10 minutes of that, the person in charge interrupted the trio, informing them that there can be only two people in each group. The male turned immediately to the latecomer and said, "Want to work together?"

Now, of course, the male was in cahoots with the psychologists in charge. Everything he did was pre-arranged. He was supposed to flirt with the first lady, then pretend to lose all interest when the second arrived.

When the first woman got dropped, what did she do? In many cases, her face literally dropped. Other times, she let out a gasp. Or she said nasty, scolding things to the other two. In other words, she got extremely jealous ... of a man she'd only spent a few minutes with, whose interest in her wasn't even real.

The researchers' theory was that the jealousy instinct is tied pretty directly to self-esteem. Self-esteem increases when others like us, and decreases when they don't — and because we feel better when people like us, we are motivated to protect and nurture our relationships with others. Jealousy — as primitive as it can seem — probably helped motivate the cave men to fend off competitors who wanted their women, quite possibly by threatening to bash them over the head with a club.

These days, of course, it's illegal to engage in such behavior, and rightly so! None of us want to turn into a Lisa Nowak — the NASA astronaut who drove 900 miles from Texas to Florida, in a disguise consisting of a wig and trench coat, while wearing an adult diaper (so she wouldn't have to make a rest stop) with a small arsenal of weapons (including a four-inch buck knife) so that she could corner her ex-boyfriend's new girl in a parking garage and threaten her.

But a little flutter of jealousy now and then is not necessarily a terrible thing. It may motivate us to put a little extra energy into relationship problems. It may help us to ask our partner to have a talk, so we can discuss some behavior that's been upsetting us. It may get us to realize we've been feeling neglected by someone we're dating, and that we generally don't love the way he treats us — so that in fact, maybe we're better off without him.


Just don't go buying any adult diapers and stay away from hunting knives, and chances are, your jealousy is nothing freakish.

The above opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of anyone else here, but it's worth the read. :lol: