is polygamy good for us?

[PolyPride]

I used to believe in biblical polygamy so much, maybe I still do to some extent. There was one point I even desired it for my husband. But as I grow and mature in Christ, I seem to find myself wondering if polygamy is really what God desires for us?
Most people in polygamy settings, especially women are so burdened with pain and heartache. Both sets of my grandparents were polygamous and the results were tragic, my parents had troubling painful childhoods as a result. In fact I as a child suffered the consequences of the polygamy marriages of my grandfathers.
I am not saying polygamy marriage is anti God, but I believe you spare yourself pain if you don't. The love my husband has for me, the way he adores me, I can't see myself being at ease was my husband to marry another wife. When I told him about polygamy he said it wasn't for him, and he can't see himself loving another woman as he loves me.
I believe its a painful thing to share a husband. I believe christ died on the cross to free us women from such a painful burden.
Just my thoughts, I could be wrong. But I believe monogamy marriage is what is Gods ideal for us.

Polygamy is good in a moral-sense, but not good for everyone in the sense that not everyone would like being in it.

Many of the things you describe are likely a matter of how polygamy is practiced rather than a problem with polygamy itself. If you ask me, I also wouldn't agree with some of the ways monogamous marriages were practiced in the Bible. Women often had no choice on who to marry and were often bought from their fathers. Recall the story of how Jacob got his two wives, Leah and Rachel (Genesis 29:15-30). I could imagine that some of these men in monogamy and polygamy did not take into account many of these women's feelings and that's probably because of the culture of women not getting to have much of a say and role in society except to be confined to the house (w/ some exceptions I'm sure)...

If you fast forward to modern day culture, Western culture has gotten rid of some of those 'unnecessary'/sexist restrictions on women (for example, keeping a woman from voting is not biblical command while being in submission to a husband is). Of course, in other cases, Western culture has made marriage worse. But my point in all this is that while even monogamous marriages used to be practiced in a bad way, now they've gotten better as far as women being able to choose and express themselves. Polygamy has not caught up yet because it is 'suppressed' in Western culture due to the laws so you're left with SOME practicing under BAD and unfair conditions, some of those conditions caused by claimed religious men themselves. Thank God though, there are some examples out there of polygamy where the couples are practicing it in a good and improved way (with choice, more empathetic towards the women, etc). In a matter of time and fighting, polygamy will evolve to fit in a Democratic culture and soon will be seen no differently than the conditions of modern monogamy.

 

[Doc]

Plural marriage is NOT for everyone, that is true. There are many factors to consider, money, family, houses, etc. Some men and women do not have the economical resources or the personality conducive to a relationship whose connections have been increased by an exponential factor.

I will be honest. I don't know if I will ever be in a plural marriage. But that doesn't matter. I still believe that it is a valid option for some families, and that it MAY be an option for me at some point in the future. But whether it is or not, I cannot deny the truth of God's Word on the issue.

I have observed over the past several years some men (and a very few women) who, having learned about the possibility of 'adding' to their family, jump headlong into a search for 'someone' without considering the impact that it would have on them or on their potential partner. They choose to not grow and LEARN some things that some wise people here on this forum have to share. I have to admit, it breaks my heart to see disasters, especially those that you have done your best to try to encourage and tell them to 'go slow'. It seems that many love the thrill of trying to 'beat the train'.

If you are reading this and you are considering this lifestyle, here is some advice for you: pull over, stop the car, turn off the ignition, put on the parking break and take a big deep breath. God has a plan and purpose for you and your life, and too often we try to outrun that plan. Listen to Him. Let Him speak to your heart and to your spouse. Maybe, just maybe, this isn't for you. Check your heart, check your feelings, and most importantly, check to make sure it lines up with what God has outlined for your life.

Blessings,

Doc

 

[lights12]

Plural marriage is NOT for everyone, that is true. There are many factors to consider, money, family, houses, etc. Some men and women do not have the economical resources or the personality conducive to a relationship whose connections have been increased by an exponential factor.

I will be honest. I don't know if I will ever be in a plural marriage. But that doesn't matter. I still believe that it is a valid option for some families, and that it MAY be an option for me at some point in the future. But whether it is or not, I cannot deny the truth of God's Word on the issue.

I have observed over the past several years some men (and a very few women) who, having learned about the possibility of 'adding' to their family, jump headlong into a search for 'someone' without considering the impact that it would have on them or on their potential partner. They choose to not grow and LEARN some things that some wise people here on this forum have to share. I have to admit, it breaks my heart to see disasters, especially those that you have done your best to try to encourage and tell them to 'go slow'. It seems that many love the thrill of trying to 'beat the train'.

If you are reading this and you are considering this lifestyle, here is some advice for you: pull over, stop the car, turn off the ignition, put on the parking break and take a big deep breath. God has a plan and purpose for you and your life, and too often we try to outrun that plan. Listen to Him. Let Him speak to your heart and to your spouse. Maybe, just maybe, this isn't for you. Check your heart, check your feelings, and most importantly, check to make sure it lines up with what God has outlined for your life.

Blessings,





Well said!!!

Doc