- Given that you're asserting that your opinion is anecdotal, but you're asserting patterns, you may want to either (a) switch to describing anecdotal examples you've observed or been part of, or (b) consider the possibility that your opinion isn't even anecdotal but guesswork. I see truths for which receipts could be provided, but they're not firmly connected to each other, which makes pattern-determining difficult.
- Nonetheless, you're missing my point: fathers these days are generally, willfully ignorant of what is going on with their daughters (or, worse yet, convinced that they're powerless to influence them), and your analysis not only lets the fathers off the hook (by blaming the sons) and further falls into the snare of letting the daughters off the hook (just another example of permitting females to feign victimhood while demanding agency/power). We've built a world in which individuals (and most certainly females) between the ages of 14 and 25 are given the privileges of adulthood and the responsibilities of toddlers. I don't know how close you've come to direct observation of what goes on at college campuses these days, but when it's just chaos one has to be thankful. I got national recognition for designing behavior management systems for dormitories, but it's not because I'm brilliant; the solutions are all rather non-complex. The problem is a combination of lack of will to do anything about misbehavior on campus and the fact that the students arrive there with the expectation that anything goes.
Bringing it back to the point: ultimately it is men who are responsible for how screwed up everything is, and it will be men who will have the power to correct everything by taking full responsibility for fixing it. The rest is just gas coming out of pie holes. Thus, fathers are far more responsible than are any others in the equation, and it's a cop-out for fathers to blame other men's sons. I contend that the fathers who let their daughters off the hook are the most egregious offenders in this whole dynamic, more so than the sons who f*** those daughters or the fathers of the sons who fail to compel their sons to refrain from jumping on the daughters who make themselves available.
It's a common societal behavior for older men to say, yeah, well, we screwed up, but now it's up to the young men to fix this for us, while we older men sit back and blame the young men for being enticed by female sirens. The only 'fixing' that is likely to occur from that formulation is for the young men to repeat the tsk-tsking proclamations once
they're older men. No society has ever been saved by the next generation coming up.
The older men have rewarded their wives for being boss bitches, as well as for initiating most of the domestic violence, most of the adultery, most of the divorces and probably even most of the childhood sexual abuse. The older men pulled punches on blatantly communicating to their daughters that they're acting like whores. The older men failed to either teach their daughters themselves or fully expect their wives to teach their daughters that it is, was and always has been those daughters' responsibility to carefully safeguard their carnal treasures.
That, along with marital sex and reproduction, is the responsibility borne by females -- cooking, cleaning and working in the family business are secondary.
I'll be doing my damnedest from here on out to encourage young men to refrain from being led around by the nose by young women dangling pussy in front of them -- to stop doing husband chores for women who aren't prepared to participate in a lifelong commitment. But it's also very clear to me that our efforts are best spent encouraging
fathers to either properly train their wives and daughters or be willing to do clean-up work on it after the fact if they failed to do that before their daughters were grown. They will always be your daughters. Yes, in our culture, once they're 18 they can move out and don't have to obey you -- but that doesn't stop them from hearing your voice in their heads. Instead of blaming the boys for tapping them, blame your daughters for so cavalierly opening those gates. We've become too afraid of shaming anyone.
Right now my youngest (19-years-old) daughter is predominantly avoiding me again and has asked me to refrain from talking with her about politics, religion, sexuality, polygyny, patriarchy and intersexual dynamics. She's checked herself into therapy, and she knows exactly what my trained ass thinks about that. I've already gotten beau*coups of advice telling me to do whatever I have to do to get her to feel all wuvved by me again. Of course!: Happy Wife, Happy Life! And Happy Daughter, Happy Life! What no one is holding in the forefront of their minds is that (a) I've said nothing to indicate that I don't love her but instead shower her with praise about how responsibly she's living on her own (well, with her boyfriend) in Austin, because I do indeed consider her to be one of the most resourceful human beings I've ever known; (b) since she moved out last year I've only given her advice when she's asked for it; and (c) until she notified me that she'd started avoiding me because she couldn't think of anything to talk with me about that we would both be interested in, I had no idea she was feeling overwhelmed.
Those who know our history will understand what I mean by this, but I'm not going to take the advice to make our relationship being luvvy-dovey a primary concern. I got the same misguided advice during The Coup back in 2021, and had I taken it, I would to this day still be a Sensitive New Age Guy spouting useless platitudes, my marriage would remain in a shambles with my wife regularly fitting me with new saddle bags, she would still be miserable, my older daughter wouldn't have received appreciated advice based on wisdom acquired through conquering The Coup, and her younger sister could very well be dead by now given things she told me about what she'd been doing before I took charge of the family.
She'll be back, and in the meantime I'm going to do my best to be her father rather than her friend.
She doesn't have to talk with me. Or we can just continue talking about the weather and her cat and dog and boyfriend for the time being. Because I know two things: she will still hear my voice in her head, and -- if I stand firm -- she will eventually want to resume a far-less-vacuous relationship with me. Or she won't. But I won't be doing her any favors by catering to her during this phase of feeling sorry for herself and believing that, if she can just drown out the things she wishes weren't true, everything will be Unicorns and Endless Vacations.
) when entering into a marriage, except for the few biblical exceptions, and that understanding ought to be clearly established before anyone's pants come off.
