How do you, the women of this forum get over the "unfairness" of patriarchy, especially polygyny?

[Keith Martin]

The guidelines in Scripture prevents such rebellion, because the husband is the head of the household. Adam and Eve were married - and it was Eve that rebelled against God's authority. So today the husband is the head of the household. Therefore, there's no room for rebellion from the wife - otherwise - it's sin from the wife.

It's important to remember that, not only did Eve rebel against God, but Adam failed even more profoundly by abdicating his responsibility as Eve's leader in not only taking her advice to eat the fruit but then trying to blame it on her instead of holding himself accountable before God. We have a tendency to focus on Eve's punishment that has been transferred onward throughout the generations, but Adam's punishment that we men live out as his legacy is broader and more profound. Our culture has insisted that men's burdens be predominantly invisible, pooh-poohed as insignificant in comparison to women's, or even to be cause to shame men as weak for even mentioning the burdens that come with having to toil for sustenance. However, the burdens are real and they directly reflect the displeasure of YHWH related to failure on the part of men to demonstrate full headship.

 

[Keith Martin]

Then you must define rebellion. What if the woman doesn't know she is being rebellious and sinning? What if she believes her position one of righteousness?

That is the result of everyone giving women the "last call" on a husband's decision by always listing the "except in cases of..." clause to "submit in every thing." Paul didn't write an exception clause - why do we like to tack one on there?

A rebellious woman will find herself to be The Exception in every case. She will not even realize she is being rebellious! She will believe she is righteously defending the Truth!

Boom!

I would just add that, because of our leadership responsibilities, even more egregious than women attempting to weasel themselves into Exception Status is for men to white knight women by providing them the excuses that would falsely bolster an Exception Claim.

 

[OttoM]

Then you must define rebellion. What if the woman doesn't know she is being rebellious and sinning? What if she believes her position one of righteousness?

That is the result of everyone giving women the "last call" on a husband's decision by always listing the "except in cases of..." clause to "submit in every thing." Paul didn't write an exception clause - why do we like to tack one on there?

A rebellious woman will find herself to be The Exception in every case. She will not even realize she is being rebellious! She will believe she is righteously defending the Truth!

Rebellion could be many things - and they should be agreed upon before marriage - such as taking care of the household duties given by the husband, helping raise the children instead of being career focused, not dressing in public with clothing that the husband dis-approves of, use of bad language against her husband's wishes, how the kids will be raised up (catholic, protestant, orthodox), schooling for the kids (home school, public school, private school), and if the husband desires to add wives in the future (if his finances can more than support it and he's doing a great job handling the current household), she should not be jealous but supportive/accepting, are such examples.

The husband should do his duty - being a good provider for the household, taking care of the household with the tougher tasks, a protector so stays in shape, loving and caring to his wife, being a good father for the children, and helping the children walk in the faith. In return the wife should also be loving, submissive, kind, gentle, and respectful towards her husband that provides and takes care of the household well.

 

[OttoM]

What? Where is "one flesh spiritually" in scripture? "One flesh" is "united flesh", two bodies joined together, that's it. Don't overspiritualize it. As a husband and wife are one flesh, so to are we one spirit with Jesus. But the husband and wife are not "spiritually one".

2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?

Let's say one spouse is an un-believer, and threatens violence against the other spouse whom is a believer. It doesn't have to be threats - but actual physical attacks as well. Ofc - they are one flesh together - bonded in marriage. But are they spiritually on the same page? Most definitely not, I would say.

Ephesians 6:12
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

 

[NickF]

Ok, just clarifying that you weren't saying one flesh spiritually. Seems like you meant "Of one accord".

 

[Rose]

I am so grateful for my spiritual growth before my husband introduced polygyny to me, as well as since then. Even so, I honestly felt afraid, and upset when I began thinking about it. After all, nothing else had taught me of these specific truths. I feel nonetheless that my foundation of faith helped me accept it.

But thankfully my husband is a very godly man. He wrote up a Bible study on it, and later a book. I'd say that prayer, and seeing what God's word says, and reading it over and over has helped me. Just bc we're used to something being one particular way, doesn't necessarily mean that it's the only way. Clearly it depends on what God's word says, including the original meanings of the words. With God, nothing is impossible. He can even transform our thoughts. He has transformed mine, or I wouldn't be here.

 

[NVIII's Babe]

Rebellion could be many things - and they should be agreed upon before marriage - such as taking care of the household duties given by the husband, helping raise the children instead of being career focused, not dressing in public with clothing that the husband dis-approves of, use of bad language against her husband's wishes, how the kids will be raised up (catholic, protestant, orthodox), schooling for the kids (home school, public school, private school), and if the husband desires to add wives in the future (if his finances can more than support it and he's doing a great job handling the current household), she should not be jealous but supportive/accepting, are such examples.

The husband should do his duty - being a good provider for the household, taking care of the household with the tougher tasks, a protector so stays in shape, loving and caring to his wife, being a good father for the children, and helping the children walk in the faith. In return the wife should also be loving, submissive, kind, gentle, and respectful towards her husband that provides and takes care of the household well.

What about when circumstances change or faith grows or spirit matures?

These are all fine objectives, but they are too detailed because they are all circumstantial. The only thing needed to be agreed upon at marriage is this: the husband promises to love his woman and the woman promises to submit herself to her husband.

Too many women will claim Exception Status because "we didn't agree on this before we got married" for any number of topics. How many children? They agreed five but the third was almost a death sentence for the woman, yet her emotions cause her to want more, but the husband says no. The woman is going to stay home and the husband is going to work, except now the husband is terminally ill and cannot work, and the woman must, but she doesn't want to. He first requires a head covering, then his faith matures and he says no, but she still wants to wear it.

All circumstantial. If she promises to submit herself, no exceptions, then all of those little decisions are covered.

 

[OttoM]

What about when circumstances change or faith grows or spirit matures?

These are all fine objectives, but they are too detailed because they are all circumstantial. The only thing needed to be agreed upon at marriage is this: the husband promises to love his woman and the woman promises to submit herself to her husband.

Too many women will claim Exception Status because "we didn't agree on this before we got married" for any number of topics. How many children? They agreed five but the third was almost a death sentence for the woman, yet her emotions cause her to want more, but the husband says no. The woman is going to stay home and the husband is going to work, except now the husband is terminally ill and cannot work, and the woman must, but she doesn't want to. He first requires a head covering, then his faith matures and he says no, but she still wants to wear it.

All circumstantial. If she promises to submit herself, no exceptions, then all of those little decisions are covered.

I agree - she should agree on being submissive to her husband before he marries her. Some of those objectives could be examples of what a Christian man should be looking for from a Christian woman. Also it's a way the man can test her before marriage.

If the relationship is getting very serious and marriage is a strong consideration; then for example, the man doesn't want his future wife to show off her physical attributes in public (including social media); therefore, even before marriage he should test her to see if she's going to be submissive. He should tell her if you're going to be mine - you have to be 100% exclusively mine - so he should tell her you want her to start dressing more wife like as that pleases you. Also tell her you want her to delete any picture you find provocative from her social media accounts.

If she agrees to do that - then that's a good sign of submissiveness, and future wife material. If she doesn't - then she's already in rebellion against the man's will. If she's in rebellion before marriage - she's going to be likely in rebellion after marriage. That would be a sign to cut her off, and remember there's plenty of fish in the sea.

 

[raulus]

In reality, just because a wife can use the powers of this world against the husband, the FATHER who delegated authority to the husband can and does punish rebellious wives. I have seen enough of them given over to madness, sickness and even death.

Since this thread is about fairness, I should mention that this goes both ways. An example would be Abigail and how Yah stepped in and got her a better man.

I've been wanting to touch on what you said here @Gary Slaughenhaupt. I do think you have it right here.

I've recently been mulling over some similar thoughts. Years ago, my wife's friend's mom was seeing another man, it was found out, ended. The husband decided to see a woman. The wife found out, it ended.

The interesting part to me that may relate to your post, is that the wife started becoming paranoid to an absurd level. She was jealously paranoid that something was going on with her husband, all of the time. Everyone around her noticed that something was off about her. It has now escalated to what would be called a delusion. That there is someone tapped into her phone, observing her at all times. She sincerely believes this no matter what you tell her, and goes out of her way to one-up this person that she believes is watching her through her phone. Their family is fearful for her. It seems that a madness is taking over her, that started with that series of events.

I say this just wondering, could it be tied to what you've written here? I've been thinking about the possibility. I can't say conclusively, spiritual things are hard to grasp in this flesh, you never really know for sure except for what God reveals, but it would imply a whole lot. In the modern world even as Christians, we tend to ignore that the God of the bible is the true God, and He is capable of doing anything that he has done in the past, in this very day. We tend to not really fear Him for who He is, and adultery is one thing that He does hate with a passion. I find this what you wrote very interesting, thank you for touching on this.

 

[paterfamilias]

I'm making this thread to try to understand a woman's perspective, men feel free to post as well if you think you have good advice for me, input, etc.

Thanks for including us

I've looked around the forum and couldn't find a thread like this one. This has been one of the main issues I deal with with my wife. The whole difference in understanding women's and men's roles based on the bible, compared to how she's been taught her whole life.

can't help on biblical aspects but i can address practical concerns and likely have a little different perspective as an oddball in this environment

Here's some of the main points I deal with in dispute:

Obedience to your husband in everything, as unto the Lord as scripture says, seems unreasonable to her.

Not surprised. The modern western culture teaches us that we are all extremely valuable special and precious.. especially women. That all feelings, opinions and ideas are valid. Unless of course they run counter to the ever evolving and serpentine narrative.

She tends to always ask is everything really everything? Like rob a bank? Kill someone?

Seems like looking for problems where they don't need to exist. Get to know a good man, a man who has good character. One who would not ask you to do a real like enactment of one of those silly Ocean's movies.
If you don't know the man's character well enough to predict his future actions lining up with your own world view,, then I would contend that you don't know him well enough for marriage.

She hates that men can have more wives. That it is in their authority to do so. It is disgusting to her.

Why?
It makes biological, historical and evolutionary psychological sense.

women are conservative fertilizers and men broadcast fertilizers. Woman being designed to be fertilized by a single man. Obviously she could be in one of the cultures where the betas engage in gang rape and sperm competition by way of a reproductive strategy...or I suppose they could act the way so many hedonistic types do now and engage in that spirm competition er recreationally. None of that sounds attractive to me at least.
In the end woman are the ones with the biology that ends up with them being more tied to a home and children while men go out for resources. That is what our biology gives us. Recent cultural changes to the contrary don't seem to make anyone happy. Least of all women.
And speaking of history. Polygyny was the dominant form of marriage in all cultures since before we had what we could call language. The genetic record says that there are far more moms than dads.
Woman have always gotten opportunities to pass on their genes. Men have always had to compete and in large part loose.
The incel thing is not new, it is just putting a name on something that has always existed.. it is only in times of plenty where a larger part of the male population had a better shot at reproductive rights

That they take wives for their lustful urges, and nothing else.

Lol! No
Maybe there are some willing to marry just for an additional sexual partner but frankly that would be pure chuckle-!#$%^ery. Sex with loose woman or professionals is apparently really easy.. so much easier than it makes me comfortable to consider..
marrying a second, third etc woman however is a Massive commitment of resources and life energy..
I am pretty average middle aged guy who could have kept taking a couple trips a year to Europe and building my play toy hot rods or dumped tens of thousands a year into shooting at the range and hunting trips etc... but I did not and do not. I loved and married and invested in another woman,, while not loving my wife any less. My son with her gets all of my time and focus. If there is an opportunity to fall in love again and have another dozen kids then I will jump for joke! I will work more if needed and absolutely forgo my hobbies and vacations or bloody anything that is me focused to provide a larger home, resources and security for them. Plus, I am more bound to stick around and stay healthy and vital as long as those children and wives need me.

If it was just about getting extra notches on my bedpost then I will wager that even my big ugly gorilla looking ass could be covered in extra shenanigans if I thought that should be my focus... no thank you. It literally isn't worth it.
Wives, children and family are worth the effort that it takes to maintain the large household

She feels that it renders her as simply nothing more than an object, which I assure her it does not, and especially not to me.

That is a pretty shallow assessment honestly. If she sees woman's value as that of an object then I think she needs to expose herself to some more positive influences and less black pills

My wife may very well read this, so you can even speak as if you're talking to her and not me.

Hi! Welcome to the party.
As I mentioned, not the guy to help on biblical issues but i think that you may be inculcated (constant repetion) with a lot of very modern ideas. Just because it is what everyone says or everyone knows, doesn't mean that it is correct.
I don't know your guy but this seems more like an issue of whether or not your guy has good motives and is someone who deserves to be in charge of your dynamic. Is he a guy who is always working for your success and who cares the most for your well being? Is he a guy would would put himself between you and whatever dangers the world sends your and your (presumptive) children's way? Is he a good man?

I personally don't know how to answer some of these questions. Knowing how a woman understands these things would really help me to gain perspective, and how to help my wife with what she is dealing with in reading the bible.

Good luck. Not a clue if I am helping at all but I am swinging on it at least.

 

[Gary Slaughenhaupt]

I've been wanting to touch on what you said here @Gary Slaughenhaupt. I do think you have it right here.

I've recently been mulling over some similar thoughts. Years ago, my wife's friend's mom was seeing another man, it was found out, ended. The husband decided to see a woman. The wife found out, it ended.

The interesting part to me that may relate to your post, is that the wife started becoming paranoid to an absurd level. She was jealously paranoid that something was going on with her husband, all of the time. Everyone around her noticed that something was off about her. It has now escalated to what would be called a delusion. That there is someone tapped into her phone, observing her at all times. She sincerely believes this no matter what you tell her, and goes out of her way to one-up this person that she believes is watching her through her phone. Their family is fearful for her. It seems that a madness is taking over her, that started with that series of events.

I say this just wondering, could it be tied to what you've written here? I've been thinking about the possibility. I can't say conclusively, spiritual things are hard to grasp in this flesh, you never really know for sure except for what God reveals, but it would imply a whole lot. In the modern world even as Christians, we tend to ignore that the God of the bible is the true God, and He is capable of doing anything that he has done in the past, in this very day. We tend to not really fear Him for who He is, and adultery is one thing that He does hate with a passion. I find this what you wrote very interesting, thank you for touching on this.

I spoke from first hand experience as well as the testimonies of others. For my dear wife it ended with a tragic death. I warned her about the dangers of stepping out from under my spiritual protection but pastors and elders ensured her they had her covered. There is a thread with the whole story as it unfolded. You have to be willing to risk losing your family. If she sees fear in you she may well use it to manipulate you.

 

[The Revolting Man]

By the way, the TV show Band of Brothers was a study in military authority.

Major Winters was a credible leader who held the respect of his men.

Despite his rank and all that Herbert Sobel was hated by his men and they subverted him at every turn. He was not a credible leader.

Having met Major Winters, interviewed him and 17 of the veterans of Easy Company as well as dozens of members of both Delta and Golf Company, it’s important to remember that Major Winters never commanded Easy Company in combat, in fact he didn’t command them very long at all.

He was quickly promoted to executive officer (not long after the unit formed at Camp Toccoa) and out of direct command of troops. His commanding officer, Lt Col Strayer had the universal respect of the entire battalion, while Major Winters’ regard was much more limited in scope.

There has been a lot of myth built up around Easy Company. Delta and Golf Company went everywhere Easy did and did everything they did it with a lower casualty rate but they haven’t received the same attention, largely because the story was broken because Stephen Ambrose happened to live next door to an Easy Company veteran.

I don’t want to slay shibboleths here but I was not overwhelmed by Major Winters presence.

Delta Company might have been called Dog Company, I can’t remember when the phonetic alphabet was updated.

 

[Keith Martin]

Also it's a way the man can test her before marriage.

In most cases, tests are something a man thinks he should have done with a wife he already has but is having trouble with.

I thoroughly believe, from observation of others, that what is far more important and effective than tests is for a man to make 100% plain who he is, what he believes, what he stands for, and what he won't put up with in a relationship -- emphasizing that it's not up for negotiation. The way a woman reacts to that is both the test and its results. You won't have to introduce one test after another to find out whether she's going to pass all of them. You just watch to see if she sticks around once she knows you mean business.

I can only assume this is far easier to do when a man is single, because I didn't rise to that level of masculinity and tenacity until I'd been married 33 years, so I was up against having basically rewarded my wife for most of those years for being in oppositional rebellion and sabotage. I don't regret the process, but it was like going through a soul-wrenching meat-grinder.

 

[windblown]

How do you women(and men) tackle dealing with this issue that the Bible can be offensive towards you, the modern day woman? How do you come to terms with it? Did you also suffer with these issues?

Yep, suffered with all of these. For years. (And I had gone into the marriage with full acknowledgment/agreement with “patriarchy.”)

A few thoughts:

On the Bible being written for man…
If the woman represents the church in the Metaphor then the entirety of the scriptures is intimately written to her. All one needs to do is sub the macro nouns with the micro. <<Fun side note, I learned today why TRM is not okay with any (esp female) bodily function talk. See Deut. 23:13-14>>

On being obedient in everything..
It really isn’t that serious. And you know it’s not. You are just focused on the details (see below for why). And you’re wanting to find holes in his logic. I’ve been there. Hell, I was probably there a couple weeks ago. But the best part of this whole authority structure is you are not responsible. He will answer to God for how and where he led you. All you are responsible for is how well you followed. It makes our jobs so much easier. There’s freedom in structure. And safety and security.

On the polygyny is gross…
The greatest benefit of BF retreats is meeting actual plural families. These women defy all feminist-ingrained, sin-natured, lies from the pits of hell that we have been raised to believe by everything and everyone around us for generations. These women are incredible.

Some highlights:
One first wife said with tears flowing, “He loves me so much more now than he did before (he married the second).”

Another said, “I’m just thankful that I can be a part of this family and make things beautiful,” after explaining her true life’s desires were not career-minded.

These solid wives all speak of abundant blessings; they each convey depths of wisdom; peaceful, calm dispositions; and the seemingly supernatural ability to see the big picture. (A skill that I’ve just now realized God gave men. While women are more narrowly focused… good for when he can’t find his shoes but not so much when she’s fixated on specific emotional marital details…)

It’s hard to argue with reality. Patriarchy hurts at first. I literally felt physical pain. Like the new man tearing away from the old. Like when Neo wakes up in the jello sludge and starts pulling cables out of his chest. Once you start realizing the truth, it becomes easier to see. Then you start seeing it everywhere. You see the damage feminism causes. You see the damage complementarianism causes. You see the unhappy women and emasculated men. But if we can get past our pride and entitled notions of what marriage should look like, we’ll find that God’s way is more deeply fulfilling and truly exciting than anything our own 21st century romantic fairytale brains can imagine.

 

[Keith Martin]

Yep, suffered with all of these. For years. (And I had gone into the marriage with full acknowledgment/agreement with “patriarchy.”)

A few thoughts:

On the Bible being written for man…
If the woman represents the church in the Metaphor then the entirety of the scriptures is intimately written to her. All one needs to do is sub the macro nouns with the micro. <<Fun side note, I learned today why TRM is not okay with any (esp female) bodily function talk. See Deut. 23:13-14>>

On being obedient in everything..
It really isn’t that serious. And you know it’s not. You are just focused on the details (see below for why). And you’re wanting to find holes in his logic. I’ve been there. Hell, I was probably there a couple weeks ago. But the best part of this whole authority structure is you are not responsible. He will answer to God for how and where he led you. All you are responsible for is how well you followed. It makes our jobs so much easier. There’s freedom in structure. And safety and security.

On the polygyny is gross…
The greatest benefit of BF retreats is meeting actual plural families. These women defy all feminist-ingrained, sin-natured, lies from the pits of hell that we have been raised to believe by everything and everyone around us for generations. These women are incredible.

Some highlights:
One first wife said with tears flowing, “He loves me so much more now than he did before (he married the second).”

Another said, “I’m just thankful that I can be a part of this family and make things beautiful,” after explaining her true life’s desires were not career-minded.

These solid wives all speak of abundant blessings; they each convey depths of wisdom; peaceful, calm dispositions; and the seemingly supernatural ability to see the big picture. (A skill that I’ve just now realized God gave men. While women are more narrowly focused… good for when he can’t find his shoes but not so much when she’s fixated on specific emotional marital details…)

It’s hard to argue with reality. Patriarchy hurts at first. I literally felt physical pain. Like the new man tearing away from the old. Like when Neo wakes up in the jello sludge and starts pulling cables out of his chest. Once you start realizing the truth, it becomes easier to see. Then you start seeing it everywhere. You see the damage feminism causes. You see the damage complementarianism causes. You see the unhappy women and emasculated men. But if we can get past our pride and entitled notions of what marriage should look like, we’ll find that God’s way is more deeply fulfilling and truly exciting than anything our own 21st century romantic fairytale brains can imagine.

The fresh air just blew right in through my closed windows, @windblown. You consistently do that to me.

<<Fun side note, I learned today why TRM is not okay with any (esp female) bodily function talk. See Deut. 23:13-14>>

Yeah; your husband went over all that on the Tactical Masculinity Weekend in May . . .

 

[frederick]

But if we can get past our pride and entitled notions of what marriage should look like, we’ll find that God’s way is more deeply fulfilling and truly exciting than anything our own 21st century romantic fairytale brains can imagine.

Amen. Excellent point! The Lord God who made everything knows how to make it work the best for all.

 

[MemeFan]

Ah, you must be from eastern Europe, where the hypnotism hasn't been as successful, because here in the States it's become almost verboten to even express this out loud. When I told my wife last night what I've been writing about this, she said, with all sincerity, "You better watch out; you're headed toward that women-hating shit again!"

Hatred of life itself.

No, no. You must be removed from anything joyful in this life. Living can only be blank, that's only proper and moral.

If a wife is constantly in rebellion - how can they be in one accord spiritually?

I would prefer word uncoordinated. Woman will make decisions for itself. It's agency and comes with being human.

What is important is for couple to be able to push in same direction because organization is impossible if both are pulling in opposite direction. Remember, all organization, including families, are formed to do what somebody alone can't do.

And regarding rebellion and limits of husband authority, it's usually to avoid bad damaging leadership. Bad leadership can mentally deep scarred you and destroy your life, and in worst situation kill you. No wonder some women are warry. @MeganC preaching about good leadership is about avoiding suffering under bad leader and enjoying benefits of good leadership.

Maybe good analogy would be parent-child relationship. Nobody normal doubts parent's authority over children, but this is reason way people are concerned with abuse. Because it exist and it's very bad.

But let me bring this back to the gratitude issue. Men occupy 95% of all the most dangerous jobs. They are responsible for creating 99% of all inventions. They handle the vast majority of maintenance and repair, with most women in such endeavors playing auxiliary roles. This doesn't mean that no women do these things, but they are decidedly the exceptions to the rules. It's estimated, for example, that the number of women in the United States who are capable of not only running power plants but being able to install power lines or repair them would amount to just enough to 'man' 6 medium-sized power plants. That's a drop in the bucket of what would be required if men suddenly disappeared.

Women take this for granted. One rarely hears women complain that only men get to put out most of the fires, risk getting shot as police officers in altercations, perform most of the dangerous military functions or do construction work on skyscrapers -- not to mention perform the vast majority of car repair, tire changes, home repair or emergency services. On top of the fact that the sex one gets from an additional wife isn't going to fully compensate for the additional provisioning and protection a husband typically provides, it has long puzzled me why more men don't just answer the accusation that they just want another wife to get laid more often with the retort, "Given all that I and other men do for you and all other women, is it too much to ask for some more sex?"

It was always about obtaining benefits for feminists while claiming to be working for all women.

In job department they most care about cushy, highly payed office job. Zero interest in something truly risky.

If they were interested in general societal well-being, they would have to take into account men's needs and interests because society can only work good when it's in interest of everyone which implies it must be good for everyone.

I do believe there is plenty to take from it as long as it does not conflict with the word of God.

You didn't get it. For example. Reality is that women like muscular men.

Will soyak's wife be sexually attracted to chads in her workplace? Yes. Will she be in temptation? Yes. This is reality thinking. Just noticing what is happening and why. Should she sleeps with chads? Now we have entered into morality thinking.

Reality and morality are two different "modes" of thinking. You can't use social thinking to solve math problem or opposite. Think. You can't show child that 2+2=4 by telling him how to be good friend. Ridiculous? Yes.

Here is table describing some differences.

	Reality thinking	Morality thinking
Used on	Humans, nature	Human actions and nothing else
Goal	Do describe what is happening and why	To judge what is good and evil
Questions used for entering into mode	What is happening and why?	Is action good or evil?
Adjective?	Descriptive	Judging

It's important to be able to notice difference in our thinking because it's very easy to slip from one mode of thinking to another and they have different purposes. This forum is full of examples. Somebody shares some news and next comments is "it's evil" and here are bible quotes.

Here is example how to make error. Read about some incident and do judgement. Now you are in morality mode. When new facts surface don't enter again reality mode to figure out what has actually happened and then enter morality mode to re-judge whole situation again. Failure to re-judge situation makes you victim of easy impressionable false narratives.

 

[NickF]

@windblown, you have done your man great honor with your words here. I’m very impressed.

 

[Joleneakamama]

Yep, suffered with all of these. For years. (And I had gone into the marriage with full acknowledgment/agreement with “patriarchy.”)

It can sure be hard to take criticism when you can't see who he answers to! I've repented many times for thinking he had it easy.....then something would happen like the well pump go out, or equipment would break down.

Remember, all organization, including families, are formed to do what somebody alone can't do.

This should be kept in mind.....

But if we can get past our pride and entitled notions of what marriage should look like, we’ll find that God’s way is more deeply fulfilling and truly exciting than anything our own 21st century romantic fairytale brains can imagine

...so the actual possibilities can be realized.

Nice thoughts!

 

[windblown]

can sure be hard to take criticism when you can't see who he answers to!

That and his master is infallible