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GRR... I am annoyed at two of our more public voices

Yesterday I was watching another YT video from a very public christian polygamist when I heard him parroting some of the thinking that I have been hearing from another of our friends that likes to parle with people.

They have been making statements that in my view water down the legitimacy of a man wanting more than one woman. The statements go something to the effect of, you should not plan to have more than one wife. Or, It has nothing to do with sexual desire, I just want to cover more women. In yesterdays "Live" the statement was made that you should NOT come into marriage saying, "I want to have four wives". And that you do not know how many God will bless you with and you should only take a wife if God tells you to take a wife. It should not be your idea but God's idea.

That statement was so OFF BASE that his wife who was with him in the "live" asked him point blank, how can a man know if it is God's idea or your own?

Here is the truth of it all. We Can have a plan. We SHOULD have a plan. And, plans can change. But to say that it should not be your idea is nuts!

How many times have we heard a young girl or a recently married young lady say that she intends to have X number of children. It is her role to have children and for her to be making plans to have X number is not something that we should scorn her for. We all know that she may end up unable to have children at all. She may end up being fertile Mertle and have more than she wanted. Each child she gets we count as a blessing from God but that does not mean that she should not plan for the number that she wants.

The EXACT same thing should be true for men. As young men still single or early into married life, if a man were to say, I plan to have 3 wives someday, that should be perfectly fine. We all know that he may never find the first woman to marry him. He may end up as an incel. That is life. But, with a plan, the likely-hood of life playing out somewhat close to the plan goes way up!

Another trend is telling men what are the legitimate reasons for wanting another wife. Saying that the only valid reason should be for covering a woman that needs covered.
Well DUH! IF you are desiring to cover a married woman that is a major issue. But a man may desire to take another wife for any of the reasons that he sees fit to marry her. Stop trying to say how other men should be thinking!


So, to our public facing friends, STOP being weak in the debate!
It is OKAY for men to have a desire and plan for more than one wife!!
Stop telling men the reasons that you find acceptable for them to desire a wife.
STOP telling people that you publicly debate that it has nothing to do with physical desire. There is nothing wrong with that being a legit reason for the desire.

And to the two I am speaking to, thank you for being in the public arena and engaging on this topic.
I agree with your points, however I would recognize that men are growing in their knowledge and understanding, and that boldness and a matter of fact, type of attitude develops overtime slowly for some quickly for others
 
I agree with your points, however I would recognize that men are growing in their knowledge and understanding, and that boldness and a matter of fact, type of attitude develops overtime slowly for some quickly for others
Hear hear! I very much agree with this statement! I have tried to approach this without malice and in a way that could be received. There is wisdom in the council of many and thus this forum seems to be a great place to discuss it.

Shalom shalom...
 
Shalom and welcome to the forum.

While I appreciate the criticism, I find it ironic that you use a pseudonym and no picture while criticizing men who have their real names and real families in the public eye... 🤔🤔
Oh please, Pete.
I find your videos amazingly awesome when it comes to facts, but you are still significantly beta when it comes to being a strong male without being ashamed of sexual desire.
Having a desired for frequent carnal knowledge as approved by scripture, unabashedly, and without remorse, is fine regardless if you want one wife or twenty.
Hear you are getting laid with two women, and acting like your motives are so holy.

Even men that claim to be male feminists and let women tell them what to do are trying to ultimately have sex.

That is the nature of man.

There isn't anything at all to apologize for.

Even the statement, "I am going to have three wives so I can have each of them every day, and that is my primary reason for getting three wives:" is a completely valid and moral statement.

If I am incorrect, point out where it is incorrect, but don't bring a holier than thou attitude.
 
Sexual desire is definitely one of the motives for obtaining more women. But that alone can’t be the only or even main motivation, because once you “know” her, you’re responsible for her for the rest of your life. It would behoove you to consider if it is worth it to you before you pursue sexual relations.
 
Sexual desire is definitely one of the motives for obtaining more women. But that alone can’t be the only or even main motivation, because once you “know” her, you’re responsible for her for the rest of your life. It would behoove you to consider if it is worth it to you before you pursue sexual relations.
That is all well and good.
But am I incorrect in what I have stated?
 
You are correct in that sex is a factor. Not the factor but a factor. I can desire to cover a woman, protect her etc, and still want to have sex with her.
I portend that if my only reason for wanting her was sex, that is just fine.
Also, if the only reason I want her is because I want someone to cook and clean, and I have no desire for sex with her, that is also just fine.
I get to have, or not have, any reason at all for wanting 1, 2 or 1000 wives.
 
I portend that if my only reason for wanting her was sex, that is just fine.
Ok but that would be a dumb reason to get married if you had no desire to be a husband in every other aspect.

What happens if for some reason you’re incapable of having sex anymore. Maybe either you or her become incapacitated. Maybe she requires constant care. You’re stuck with her.
 
Ok but that would be a dumb reason to get married if you had no desire to be a husband in every other aspect.

What happens if for some reason you’re incapable of having sex anymore. Maybe either you or her become incapacitated. Maybe she requires constant care. You’re stuck with her.
*chuckle* Yes, that is possible. But possible even with one wife, no? If she becomes incapacitated, she is no longer able to perform any other services or duties.
Thus, in that situation any and all reasons I wanted her are now moot.

Most marriages in the bible rarely mention "love" as a reason for marriage. The bible doesn't even require that a woman love her husband.

Biblically, women didn't have much of a choice. They were objects purchased, and they knew and expected this.

Yes, there were exceptions.

Sometimes I think the bible had it right......
 
Sexual desire is definitely one of the motives for obtaining more women. But that alone can’t be the only or even main motivation, because once you “know” her, you’re responsible for her for the rest of your life. It would behoove you to consider if it is worth it to you before you pursue sexual relations.
Sexual desire us enough. And usually not lacking.

Real question is how much you are willing to care of all her needs.
 
All the focus on a "valid reason," is the problem, because it's not the crux of the real question.

I can have a "valid reason" for jumping off a cliff. But it may not be the "best use of my time." Or gifts. Or calling.

And it will have longer term consequences.

(I Cor 6:12, I Cor. 10:23, etc.)
 
Oh please, Pete.
I find your videos amazingly awesome when it comes to facts, but you are still significantly beta when it comes to being a strong male without being ashamed of sexual desire.
Having a desired for frequent carnal knowledge as approved by scripture, unabashedly, and without remorse, is fine regardless if you want one wife or twenty.
Hear you are getting laid with two women, and acting like your motives are so holy.

Even men that claim to be male feminists and let women tell them what to do are trying to ultimately have sex.

That is the nature of man.

There isn't anything at all to apologize for.

Even the statement, "I am going to have three wives so I can have each of them every day, and that is my primary reason for getting three wives:" is a completely valid and moral statement.

If I am incorrect, point out where it is incorrect, but don't bring a holier than thou attitude.
Sure... I can say that. No problem...

When I do it will confirm for every woman that it's all about sex... Pete says so... it'll make the journey much harder for every man.

But hey, who says wisdom and maturity matter?


Recently, in my Patreon, I posted a video directed at the men about guerrilla warfare and optics. Some topics are best kept to private discussions where you know who is in the room. Those who do not understand these things have little business engaging in this discussion or trying to school the gray hairs...
 
The statements go something to the effect of, you should not plan to have more than one wife.
Having a desire for more than one wife is one thing, actually planning on having more than one often leads to frustration and unhappiness in not achieving something that is not very available. Too many men approach it like buying a car, once they have made the decision it’s just a matter of picking out the one that they want. Sorry, but the women don’t line up in rows awaiting our choice. Good ones are scarcer than hens teeth. And families go through turmoil as the men impatiently search for their dream girl.
Or, It has nothing to do with sexual desire,
The desire is natural, but for too many men it’s the goal. A very poor foundation for a marriage.
 
Having a desire for more than one wife is one thing, actually planning on having more than one often leads to frustration and unhappiness in not achieving something that is not very available. Too many men approach it like buying a car, once they have made the decision it’s just a matter of picking out the one that they want. Sorry, but the women don’t line up in rows awaiting our choice. Good ones are scarcer than hens teeth. And families go through turmoil as the men impatiently search for their dream girl.

The desire is natural, but for too many men it’s the goal. A very poor foundation for a marriage.
Steve, I appreciate your take one this but for men who are celibate prior to marriage, sex is often the motivator to find a wife. If he is willing to marry a girl solely based on that, he is foolish. She would need to be compatible in oh so many other ways as well or he is setting himself up for a disaster.

The point of this thread is not that sexual desire should be the only reason for wanting a wife. First, second or whatever. The point is that we have seen public comments indicating that men should be above their natural desire. Not that it was phrased that way but that was the implication of it.
When they tell men how to feel and begin to act as though the reasons for wanting a wife is MORE PIOUS somehow for the second wife than it was for the first wife, I find that objectionable!

I go back to the quote from before, "The reason I want a second wife is the same reasons I wanted my first wife". That is the kind of honesty I can get behind!!! :)

Not only I, but I think it is relatable to monogamous men as well. How can they refute that?!?
 
It’s a matter of degree, it’s not an either/or thing.
On a scale of 1 to 100, with 1 being zero desire for sex and 100 being sex is the only reason for getting married, there is a point where the desire becomes imbalanced. The warning is that too much focus on the physical desires is an easy way to have a bad outcome.
I go back to the quote from before, "The reason I want a second wife is the same reasons I wanted my first wife". That is the kind of honesty I can get behind!!!
And millions of monogamous marriages fail because the couple was initially more focused on their sexual compatibility than they were on the rest of their relationship.
Maybe you were more driven by lust than you were by love when you married your first wife and you have been blessed with compatibility that has made a solid relationship. That’s cool, but can’t you be older and wiser now?

All they are saying is to let sex be the blessing, not the goal.
The point is that we have seen public comments indicating that men should be above their natural desire.
Well duh, we do this every day as we don’t act out every desire that we are tempted with.
They are just talking about a matter of degree. You agree with them more than you think that you do, otherwise your life would be in shambles.
 
Another old quote that isn’t repeated often enough;
“Marry in haste, repent at leisure.”
 
Another old quote that isn’t repeated often enough;
“Marry in haste, repent at leisure.”
You changed it a bit....but the concept sure applies.
 
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