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Giving your daughter in marriage...

In Texas, one may get married without parental approval at age 18, but one may get married at age 14 with parental approval. Keeping that in mind, I did my best (which wasn't always optimum) to prepare my girls to be ready to marry if they so chose by age 14.
 
meister said:
what age do you call "of the age"? Is marriage to a husband age determined?
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The first answer is always what @FollowingHim said, obey the laws of the jurisdiction you live in. We can play a thought experiment though.

Assuming there were no laws governing the matter I would say that it would be pretty irresponsible for a father to marry off a daughter before age 16. I personally think that even at that age she should maybe “debut” with an eye to having her settling in to married life closer to 18.
 
In my home state, there is no minimum age for marriage. But anyone younger than 18 is required to have the permission of their parents and to go through some pretty lengthy court procedures to get a judge's approval.

That said, I always figured I'd aim to have my daughters ready to marry by 14, and adjust that age along the way to account for maturity (physical, emotional, and spiritual) and the availability of prospective husbands.

I would worry that anything that even hinted of an arranged marriage would cause a court here to reject it, but I digress.

My main concern is properly preparing my daughters so that they would accept my decisions regarding their marriage. I would welcome advice on this and on making good matches for one's daughters as well.
 
StudentofHim said:
In my home state, there is no minimum age for marriage. But anyone younger than 18 is required to have the permission of their parents and to go through some pretty lengthy court procedures to get a judge's approval.

That said, I always figured I'd aim to have my daughters ready to marry by 14, and adjust that age along the way to account for maturity (physical, emotional, and spiritual) and the availability of prospective husbands.

I would worry that anything that even hinted of an arranged marriage would cause a court here to reject it, but I digress.

My main concern is properly preparing my daughters so that they would accept my decisions regarding their marriage. I would welcome advice on this and on making good matches for one's daughters as well.
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legal age here is 16. our dau will turn 15 now and I am hopeful that she will keep as well behaved and believing as she is at the moment
 
GroomOf5Wise said:
How old was Mary when she had Jesus? I see societal trends to keep women unmarried longer and later in life. Most legal rights at 18, the rest at 21, some educational and financial benefits even to 26. Forcing women to choose between their biological clock, and creating societal norms of sex outside of marriage.
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While simultaneously encouraging teenagers to be sexually active, giving them free contraception and ways to get abortions without even telling their parents. And sexualising people at younger and younger ages through sex ed in schools and the whole trans indoctrination agenda.

Don't get distracted by legal marriage ages though, what is relevant is the age of consent. Basically, the sensible minimum age for both sex and marriage for most people is probably somewhere in the 16-18 bracket. A few decades ago most governments had minimum ages of consent for both sex and marriage somewhere in that area. But now, Satan's governments are disconnecting sex from marriage by forcing legal marriage registration later while simultaneously encouraging sex earlier even where it remains technically illegal.

But despite all this confusion, they are not messing much with the age of consent for sexual intercourse. That seems to be staying around the same relatively sensible middle-ground age it always has been, in most jurisdictions. And for our purposes it's the only law that matters - you can't register polygamous marriages anyway so "marriage ages" are irrelevant, and I'd suggest that people getting their first marriage also think hard about whether to register it with the government (in hindsight I wish we did not register our own).

So forget the legal "marriage age". What is the legal age of consent for sexual intercourse in your jurisdiction? That becomes the practical legal minimum age to get together in a way which we'd call "marriage" and which the State will consider a "domestic partnership" or whatever since it's not registered. Go below that age and you'll go to jail and be branded for life as a child abuser. Usually deservedly (exceptions being foolish teenage lovers jumping the gun, who pretty much everyone agrees don't really deserve jail time).
 
FollowingHim said:
While simultaneously encouraging teenagers to be sexually active, giving them free contraception and ways to get abortions without even telling their parents. And sexualising people at younger and younger ages through sex ed in schools and the whole trans indoctrination agenda.

Don't get distracted by legal marriage ages though, what is relevant is the age of consent. Basically, the sensible minimum age for both sex and marriage for most people is probably somewhere in the 16-18 bracket. A few decades ago most governments had minimum ages of consent for both sex and marriage somewhere in that area. But now, Satan's governments are disconnecting sex from marriage by forcing legal marriage registration later while simultaneously encouraging sex earlier even where it remains technically illegal.

But despite all this confusion, they are not messing much with the age of consent for sexual intercourse. That seems to be staying around the same relatively sensible middle-ground age it always has been, in most jurisdictions. And for our purposes it's the only law that matters - you can't register polygamous marriages anyway so "marriage ages" are irrelevant, and I'd suggest that people getting their first marriage also think hard about whether to register it with the government (in hindsight I wish we did not register our own).

So forget the legal "marriage age". What is the legal age of consent for sexual intercourse in your jurisdiction? That becomes the practical legal minimum age to get together in a way which we'd call "marriage" and which the State will consider a "domestic partnership" or whatever since it's not registered. Go below that age and you'll go to jail and be branded for life as a child abuser. Usually deservedly (exceptions being foolish teenage lovers jumping the gun, who pretty much everyone agrees don't really deserve jail time).
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Well said Samuel! I would simply say, Don't give the state control over your relationships; they have no authority from God to do that.
 
StudentofHim said:
In my home state, there is no minimum age for marriage. But anyone younger than 18 is required to have the permission of their parents and to go through some pretty lengthy court procedures to get a judge's approval.

That said, I always figured I'd aim to have my daughters ready to marry by 14, and adjust that age along the way to account for maturity (physical, emotional, and spiritual) and the availability of prospective husbands.

I would worry that anything that even hinted of an arranged marriage would cause a court here to reject it, but I digress.

My main concern is properly preparing my daughters so that they would accept my decisions regarding their marriage. I would welcome advice on this and on making good matches for one's daughters as well.
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I agree 100% I think that we must teach them why the father is the one who picks who they married first and then they will have trust in us.
 
GroomOf5Wise said:
How old was Mary when she had Jesus? I see societal trends to keep women unmarried longer and later in life. Most legal rights at 18, the rest at 21, some educational and financial benefits even to 26. Forcing women to choose between their biological clock, and creating societal norms of sex outside of marriage.
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Amen! The problem is once a woman turns 30 years old they are almost at high risk counting down the time it is safe to have kids.
We live in a world where it is right for 13ish to just have fun, but when it comes to marriage it is a crime and a Government Sin!
At this rate women will take so long that they might have 1 child. Eli mother was forced in to s C-S and it was a nightmare that added to her mental health breakdown and it was so horrifying that I though i would lose his mother right there and she was 31.
 
The Revolting Man said:
This is a myth as I’m sure a number of women here will attest.
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A myth that most women deal with something like 90% unless they are super health and workout.
my advice is talk to a few OBGYN's.
 
AbrahamSolomon said:
my advice is talk to a few OBGYN's
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OBGYNs are panicky people who will make anyone fear pregnancy - because they are the people who have to study worst-case scenarios so they are trained to deal with any emergency. They then don't see a natural selection of cases - they see all the bad ones and only some of the normal ones. So when asked about this sort of thing, their mind will first go to the worst cases - that's their job. They are biased into a negative outlook. They're very important parts of the medical profession, as important as an emergency department trauma surgeon for instance, but not the right people to ask this sort of question to unless you want to be given something to worry about.

Talk to a few midwives instead.
 
FollowingHim said:
OBGYNs are panicky people who will make anyone fear pregnancy - because they are the people who have to study worst-case scenarios so they are trained to deal with any emergency. They then don't see a natural selection of cases - they see all the bad ones and only some of the normal ones. So when asked about this sort of thing, their mind will first go to the worst cases - that's their job. They are biased into a negative outlook. They're very important parts of the medical profession, as important as an emergency department trauma surgeon for instance, but not the right people to ask this sort of question to unless you want to be given something to worry about.

Talk to a few midwives instead.
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This is true home births are best and the healthier a woman is better.
But in America most don't take care of themselves and most are way overweight so either diabetic or high blood pressure.
Just like Maggie was very high blood pressure till I got her to walk and we are about to hit the gym at at 31 with high blood pressure they would be very high risk and all my children will be using midwives moving forward. I really wish I could marry a Midwife!
 
AbrahamSolomon said:
A myth that most women deal with something like 90% unless they are super health and workout.
my advice is talk to a few OBGYN's.
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My advice, and I do have 15 children, three of which I’ve delivered myself in unassisted home births, is to stay as far away from OB/GYNs as possible. In America at least they cause way more problems than they solve.

But hey, it’s been a long time since I only had one child so there’s a lot I could have forgotten.
 
FollowingHim said:
OBGYNs are panicky people who will make anyone fear pregnancy - because they are the people who have to study worst-case scenarios so they are trained to deal with any emergency. They then don't see a natural selection of cases - they see all the bad ones and only some of the normal ones. So when asked about this sort of thing, their mind will first go to the worst cases - that's their job. They are biased into a negative outlook. They're very important parts of the medical profession, as important as an emergency department trauma surgeon for instance, but not the right people to ask this sort of question to unless you want to be given something to worry about.

Talk to a few midwives instead.
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My husband told me my co wife really feared pregnancy because of doctors. They only had 3 and he would have liked more. The last one was delivered at home and it was a totally different experience from the previous hospital births. She told hubs that if she had known it could be that peaceful she wouldn't have resisted having more.
 
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