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Find A Wife In The Philippines

frederick

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
Polygyny is culturally accepted, but not legal, in a region of the Philippines. However, it is legal for Muslim men to have more than one wife in the Philippines. Perhaps it would be easier to find a woman in the Philippines who is open to being in a plural-wife family than it is in some other countries(?)
 
That thread title... :-)

Sadly I just shaved off the beard I'd need to pass for a Muslim in that region long enough to pick up one of those women. But I'm sure my agent in the Philippines will keep his eye out for a nice Catholic or Protestant for me, and one day the phone call will come!
 
Filipinas are cool. It’s the marrying the whole family thing that would be tough. Really though, that wouldn’t even bother me if they lived nearby, it would just be tough to be married to a family on the other side of the planet.
Explain the marrying the family idea. I marry a woman, not a group of people.
 
"Marrying the family" is a simple way of expressing the cultural clash that occurs when marrying into a close-knit family that has different expectations to a Western culture. For instance, when a filipina woman marries a "rich westerner", the extended family will assume she's wealthy now and hands will be perpetually out for help with everything.

Edit: Hence why @frederick and my ongoing joke is that he's looking out for an orphan for me. :-)
 
And if he is from the USA, everyone expects a visa.
It’s called chain migration.
Surely you wouldn’t deny bringing her mother and father in, then her brothers and sisters, families that they married into……..
 
"Marrying the family" is a simple way of expressing the cultural clash that occurs when marrying into a close-knit family that has different expectations to a Western culture. For instance, when a filipina woman marries a "rich westerner", the extended family will assume she's wealthy now and hands will be perpetually out for help with everything.

Edit: Hence why @frederick and my ongoing joke is that he's looking out for an orphan for me. :)
I can tell you with some degree of experience that any dealings with the extended family will depend on the ground rules you lay at the beginning. For me, since my wife and her family are professionals, we have no need of financial involvement, although we ask the others to contribute for the 24/7 care of her mother. Hahaha, that cultural thing works to our advantage!

Having said that, when you see the extreme hardship people face, not just here, but anywhere, remember Proverbs 19:17; He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, And He will pay back what he has given. And Proverbs 21:13, Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, Will also cry himself and not be heard.
 
hands will be perpetually out for help with everything.
Then they will continually have empty hands. I’m not opposed to helping people who need it. I consider myself generous, but if someone expects and demands it, I start saying the magic word “no”. I’ve dealt with many people who had their hand out to me while squandering away what they do have on frivolous things. Lesson learned.
 
Then they will continually have empty hands. I’m not opposed to helping people who need it. I consider myself generous, but if someone expects and demands it, I start saying the magic word “no”. I’ve dealt with many people who had their hand out to me while squandering away what they do have on frivolous things. Lesson learned.
If people are surviving ok before I meet them, then they can continue to survive ok now they have met me. However, the challenge comes with the added suffering e.g. the covid mess has created. There is more sickness and death in the community. As with everywhere else, inflation has caused economic hardships. When you see emaciated children with a young woman it is difficult to just keep walking past. Until you have been right in amongst it, walking and talking with the people, it is only facts and figures on a page.
 
My Filipino friends here in the States all seem to provide some degree of financial support to their families back home.

One of my friends in graduate school was a Filipino PhD student in Forestry, and while living on an assistantship of about $15k a year (early 2000's), sent thousands of dollars back home so his sister could get a needed surgery.

I also use to work with an engineer from the Philippines, whose wife was a registered nurse. I know that they provided substantial financial support to both sets of parents back home.

Singing, playing basketball, eating good food, lots of laughs, and sending money back home to help out the family, seems to be the Filipino way.

They are good people, and I like them.
 
If people are surviving ok before I meet them, then they can continue to survive ok now they have met me. However, the challenge comes with the added suffering e.g. the covid mess has created. There is more sickness and death in the community. As with everywhere else, inflation has caused economic hardships. When you see emaciated children with a young woman it is difficult to just keep walking past. Until you have been right in amongst it, walking and talking with the people, it is only facts and figures on a page.
The government of the Philippines really handled COVID badly. Sadly, they bought into the lies of Fauci and crew, and really hurt their people.

Another benefit of Filipinas is that most of them seem to speak English pretty well.
 
My Filipino friends here in the States all seem to provide some degree of financial support to their families back home.

One of my friends in graduate school was a Filipino PhD student in Forestry, and while living on an assistantship of about $15k a year (early 2000's), sent thousands of dollars back home so his sister could get a needed surgery.

I also use to work with an engineer from the Philippines, whose wife was a registered nurse. I know that they provided substantial financial support to both sets of parents back home.

Singing, playing basketball, eating good food, lots of laughs, and sending money back home to help out the family, seems to be the Filipino way.

They are good people, and I like them.
American culture places little value on family orientation. We move out of the home at 18 years old, accumulate tons of debt, become single parents, force grandparents to help raise the children we created. Then proceed to throw those very same parents into nursing homes to die alone once they're old. It's a vicious cycle 😔
 
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The government of the Philippines really handled COVID badly. Sadly, they bought into the lies of Fauci and crew, and really hurt their people.

Another benefit of Filipinas is that most of them seem to speak English pretty well.
Yes, the covid restrictions were extreme and many small businesses failed.

English is taught in the schools so that everyone has basic skills in the language. With access to social media many young people retain their English language abilities but the older folks not so much. I've not been to countries like Thailand or Vietnam but I'm told fewer people speak English so it's more difficult to get to know them.
 
American culture places little value on family orientation. We move out of the home at 18 years old, accumulate tons of debt, become single parents, force grandparents to help raise the children we created. Then proceed to throw those very same parents into nursing homes to die alone once they're old. It's a vicious cycle 😔
Sadly I think it's the same in a lot of developed countries. The USA is not unique in that regard.

Family is important in the Philippine culture and helping one another is seen as a responsibility to them. But like everywhere else, there are those who take advantage of others and abuse their generosity.
 
Yes, the covid restrictions were extreme and many small businesses failed.

English is taught in the schools so that everyone has basic skills in the language. With access to social media many young people retain their English language abilities but the older folks not so much. I've not been to countries like Thailand or Vietnam but I'm told fewer people speak English so it's more difficult to get to know them.
Students in Japan all take at least six years of English, but don't have the best teachers, and don't get to practice much. As a result, most Japanese people aren't very proficient in English. They are frequently embarrassed to make mistakes, and therefore hesitant to speak English with foreigners. Interestingly, their written English is often much better than their spoken English.

My brother in law has sometimes surprised me with his English vocabulary (though he is hesitant to have a conversation in English).

When in Japan my wife always interprets for me, with her family and others. My Japanese is shamefully very limited.

Once or twice my brother in law has corrected my wife's interpretation, saying something like "that's not quite what I meant. I meant something more like this". My wife and I were both surprised that he still retained that much English since he has been out of school for decades.

He does have an Australian fishing buddy that is an English teacher in Japan, and married to a Japanese family friend. He might be practicing his English with that guy.
 
Students in Japan all take at least six years of English, but don't have the best teachers, and don't get to practice much. As a result, most Japanese people aren't very proficient in English. They are frequently embarrassed to make mistakes, and therefore hesitant to speak English with foreigners. Interestingly, their written English is often much better than their spoken English.

My brother in law has sometimes surprised me with his English vocabulary (though he is hesitant to have a conversation in English).

When in Japan my wife always interprets for me, with her family and others. My Japanese is shamefully very limited.

Once or twice my brother in law has corrected my wife's interpretation, saying something like "that's not quite what I meant. I meant something more like this". My wife and I were both surprised that he still retained that much English since he has been out of school for decades.

He does have an Australian fishing buddy that is an English teacher in Japan, and married to a Japanese family friend. He might be practicing his English with that guy.
One of the challenges in the Philippines is there are some 200 distinct dialects which the locals speak. My local language skills are very poor because I can get by with English. The people are very kind and understanding, and we have a lot of laughs in our confusion.
 
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