Good. If you want to claim the mantle of a Man then you have to be able to act like one. And you just did. My respect for you just went up a couple notches.
You're also wrong.
I was very much a whore when I bedded down with the man who became my husband. In my heart it felt wrong, I had massive misgivings, I was doing it for very selfish and immature reasons, I did not love him and he was not in love with me either.
Love came in time and so did the marriage. It was a process that took place over time. But at the outset I felt like a whore, I called myself a concubine and a baby factory, and I almost never said I'd married my husband. I would say that I had joined my family. That's still an accurate description of my feelings from back then.
In the end it was not wrong because I had very fortunately been blessed not just with a good man but with a man who was equipped to make me own up to the commitment I had made to him. It was not easy those first few years because I had to learn what it meant to be a wife and a mother. Meanwhile he made sure I understood what he expected from me as his wife and the mother of his children.
In retrospect do I think I was a whore? Yep. Because that was what was in my heart. I was using Steve for my own selfish needs and desires.
I don't know your story that well, out of curiosity, and feel free not to answer if it's too personal, but what were the selfish and immature reasons?
) and grew to like how I would channel my OCD into positive things like learning to cook, learning to ride horses, and etc. I learned to love and appreciate him for his wisdom and for leading me to be more of a person that I was before he met me. I would not be who I am today without his support and frequent insistence that I could succeed at things.