Divorce and Remarriage - Am I doomed?

[Joleneakamama]

And even if it fails, the fact that you seriously tried will go a long way to reassuring any future potential husband that you are of good, trustworthy character and worth marrying.

My now sisterwife tried for about 7 years to make things work with a man that was not moral, not commited, not faithful, and did not provide. As FollowingHim has said, how you proceed will say a lot about your character and let others see your sincere desire to do things right. Then too, you had good things to say about the man you married. He may be a better man then you will find moving on.
Even if you don't succeed at patching things up, you may have fewer regrets after trying.

 

[rustywest4]

What if her husband was being super unloving and way mean to her? He probably made monogamous vows when they married right? So then he was being a wicked husband to break his vows and try justifying his adultery with the idea of polygamy? Did he become emotionally, psychologically, verbally, physically abusive to her? He was probably being way super controlling and oppressive towards her? She probably had no choice but to protect herself from how terrible he was being to her? Why would we encourage her to go back to such a monster?

 

[NBTX11]

Regardless of who initiated it, if he signed it, agreed to it, and won’t take her back then I see that as the same as him giving her a written divorce and sending her away and she should be free to remarry. Am I wrong?

Most agree that another reconciliation attempt is her best option at this point. But he probably won’t reconcile.

 

[NBTX11]

What if her husband was being super unloving and way mean to her? He probably made monogamous vows when they married right? So then he was being a wicked husband to break his vows and try justifying his adultery with the idea of polygamy? Did he become emotionally, psychologically, verbally, physically abusive to her? He was probably being way super controlling and oppressive towards her? She probably had no choice but to protect herself from how terrible he was being to her? Why would we encourage her to go back to such a monster?

That’s the other thing. He likely broke his vow when he took another wife. He most likely said he would keep himself for her in his marriage vows. Since he broke the vow, should she now be held to it?

 

[Silver Springs]

What if her husband was being super unloving and way mean to her? He probably made monogamous vows when they married right? So then he was being a wicked husband to break his vows and try justifying his adultery with the idea of polygamy? Did he become emotionally, psychologically, verbally, physically abusive to her? He was probably being way super controlling and oppressive towards her? She probably had no choice but to protect herself from how terrible he was being to her? Why would we encourage her to go back to such a monster?

There is definitely more to this story.

 

[Mark C]

I see a whole lotta speculation in here...
I can't imagine it's too helpful, since she probably already knows more about the actual situation...

 

[FollowingHim]

What if her husband was being super unloving and way mean to her? He probably made monogamous vows when they married right? So then he was being a wicked husband to break his vows and try justifying his adultery with the idea of polygamy? Did he become emotionally, psychologically, verbally, physically abusive to her? He was probably being way super controlling and oppressive towards her? She probably had no choice but to protect herself from how terrible he was being to her? Why would we encourage her to go back to such a monster?

Please do not be sarcastic. We are offering accurate advice for a woman in a difficult situation. I may delete posts which do not serve that specific purpose.

 

[FollowingHim]

if he signed it, agreed to it,

That's not what @Sophia has told us.

My marriage was annulled by the Catholic Church due to adultery

In other words this was forced on her husband by church authorities. She has not (yet) indicated he ever agreed to or signed anything.

 

[NickF]

@Sophia I think the wisest course of action no matter what scripture says on the matter and no matter what interpretation you choose to adopt. The wisest course of action is to go to him and plead for him to take you back. I'm talking literally on your face in the dirt before him. Tell him you will submit to his authority and headship in everything. You will atone for the hurt you caused, you will serve him faithfully if he gives you a chance. Ask for a chance to earn his trust back. Then do him good and not evil. Earn the trust back with your meek behavior. Men are far more forgiving than most women think.

If he turns you down. Come back the next week and plead again. If he refuses again, come back the next week and plead again.

 

[NVIII]

That's not what @Sophia has told us.

In other words this was forced on her husband by church authorities. She has not (yet) indicated he ever agreed to or signed anything.

To be fair, I don't think everyone here is familiar with laws under tight Catholic rule. Probably some misunderstanding generated there. But, you seem to understand it.

 

[rustywest4]

Thank you for asking me nicely and saying please. I’ll respectfully try to refrain from being sarcastic or cynical going forward here.
I am actually very pleased to see the good Godly Scriptural advice that some are giving. It just truly bums me out knowing that if she showed up two years ago in the midst of her hardships with her “ex” husband some of the advice being given to her would be a bit of a different tune.

 

[FollowingHim]

Do not drag your own situation and grievances onto this thread @rustywest4. Your thoughts may be valid, but this is not the place for them, and you simply come across as bitter. Start a new thread if you feel a need to compare and contrast the advice this woman is receiving with advice given to your own ex wives. Regardless of how valid it may be, anything else on this line will be deleted from this thread to maintain focus.

 

[B4DWrath]

To be fair, I don't think everyone here is familiar with laws under tight Catholic rule. Probably some misunderstanding generated there. But, you seem to understand it.

I'm not judging one way or the other, but under catholicism, wouldn't he be prohibited from taking her back, since he is already remarried? No pleading on her part is going to overrule the Catholic church and its monogamy only traditions.

 

[FollowingHim]

I'm not judging one way or the other, but under catholicism, wouldn't he be prohibited from taking her back, since he is already remarried? No pleading on her part is going to overrule the Catholic church and its monogamy only traditions.

The fact he took a second wife in the first place shows he doesn't care what the church has to say about the matter.

 

[B4DWrath]

The fact he took a second wife in the first place shows he doesn't care what the church has to say about the matter.

She said "My marriage was annulled by the Catholic Church due to adultery".
Does the churches understanding of adultery in this case, and it's decree of annulment play any part whatsoever?

 

[MemeFan]

She said "My marriage was annulled by the Catholic Church due to adultery".
Does the churches understanding of adultery in this case, and it's decree of annulment play any part whatsoever?

Annulment is making marriage invalid, like it has never existed. After this act, her ex-husband is free man.

 

[JudahYAHites]

We are offering accurate advice

Nope untrue, how can you claim to be offering "accurate advice" without all the details?

As I stated...

There are so many nuances in every situation especially like this

As @Mark C stated...

she probably already knows more about the actual situation...

And as @rustywest4 asked...

What if

Which was a valid question...

The main question from @Sophia paraphrased in essence is

"Am I doomed for life" ?

Which without any shadow of doubt is ultimately NO

Matthew 12:31 KJV — Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.

The lack of wisdom shown in answering this very straightforward question has shown insensitivity and understanding that this is a real situation with real people and that the words that are written have real consequences, and evidently, by certain responses, this is not the first time this has happened.

Respond in the love of YAH through MessiYah Yahushuwah aka Christ Jesus.

Galatians 6:1-2 KJV — Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

 

[B4DWrath]

Nope untrue, how can you claim to be offering "accurate advice" without all the details?

As I stated...


As @Mark C stated...


And as @rustywest4 asked...

Which was a valid question...

The main question from @Sophia paraphrased in essence is

"Am I doomed for life" ?

Which without any shadow of doubt is ultimately NO

Matthew 12:31 KJV — Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.

The lack of wisdom shown in answering this very straightforward question has shown insensitivity and understanding that this is a real situation with real people and that the words that are written have real consequences, and evidently, by certain responses, this is not the first time this has happened.

Respond in the love of YAH through MessiYah Yahushuwah aka Christ Jesus.

Galatians 6:1-2 KJV — Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

THESE are the things that were flooding my brain when I wrote "Where do I send the plane ticket?"
You just have a better way with words. Thank you!

 

[NS4Liberty]

If "doomed" means forever separated from God, then @JudahYAHites is right.

If "doomed" means maybe having to remain single if her exhusband doesn't take her back, then I think there is clearly room for the advice being given here. David was forgiven for his sin with Bathsheba, but he still suffered the consequences. Consequences do not invalidate the love and forgiveness we recieve.

I think the advice of continuing to repair her marriage is the best option right now. Especially @NickF process of humility, patience, and determination.

 

[JudahYAHites]

If "doomed" means forever separated from God, then @JudahYAHites is right.

If "doomed" means maybe having to remain single if her exhusband doesn't take her back, then I think there is clearly room for the advice being given here. David was forgiven for his sin with Bathsheba, but he still suffered the consequences. Consequences do not invalidate the love and forgiveness we recieve.

I think the advice of continuing to repair her marriage is the best option right now. Especially @NickF process of humility, patience, and determination.

due to some comments in the forum I am learning I may be doomed for life and not be able to remarry. Im freaking out. Is this true?

The answer still remains no

I think there is clearly room for the advice being given here.

I say again

how can you claim to be offering "accurate advice" without all the details?

Proverbs 18:13 KJV — He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

The ORIGINAL question remains the same

due to some comments in the forum I am learning I may be doomed for life and not be able to remarry. Im freaking out. Is this true?

Again it is a NO

2 years ago I filed divorce for adultery, left my husband for introducing a 2nd wife.

Confession

Now. I repented and fully accepted polygyny -

Repentance

but there's no chance of reconciliation, he wouldn't.

Attempted reconciliation

I am eager to remarry now, and to open myself to a christian polygynous and traditional marriage,

Now humbled to obedience of Yah

however..

due to some comments in the forum I am learning I may be doomed for life and not be able to remarry. Im freaking out. Is this true?
Isn't the Lord merciful and forgiving?

Please explain, this would change so many things in my life.

Some of the comments and suggestions are ludicrous especially not knowing the whole situation

Who is the arbiter of what

seriously tried

Actually means?

Am I ?

Are you ?

Is anyone on this platform?

How do you know that Yah didnt send her to this platform BECAUSE she has already...

"seriously tried"