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Courtship?

rockfox said:
I'm not sure what you mean?
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Whatever your definition of moderation, it would have to cut off the opposite end of the Bell Curve.
Since I am the most ancient, that would have to at least include me.

All in good fun, brother, not all of my joshery is obvious enough.
 
steve said:
Whatever your definition of moderation, it would have to cut off the opposite end of the Bell Curve.
Since I am the most ancient, that would have to at least include me.

All in good fun, brother, not all of my joshery is obvious enough.
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I got ya now. That explains my confusion; I was referring to drama in moderation, not to the age of husband.
 
rockfox said:
I got ya now. That explains my confusion; I was referring to drama in moderation, not to the age of husband.
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Ahhh, ya got me!
It does fit either way.
 
Mc_B said:
Nothing wrong at all, although I would say the (unfortunate) negatives are the larger the age gap between spouses, the more likely someone is going to be left widowed with a bunch of children or stuck changing an extra diaper along with their children's.
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Perhaps I'm just playing the Adversary's Advocate in this instance, but I request that you at least contemplate the possibility that assuming what you've just addressed has weight is to fall down the rabbit hole of accepting limitations in a way that makes the perfect the enemy of the good. These days, our culture puts a great deal of time and energy into talking people out of being in committed relationships, and one of the main avenues of persuasion is along the lines of, "Well, if you do it that way, it won't be ideal." This argument is made very regularly both about getting (or staying) married and having children. "Wait until you're ready." "Marry someone at least somewhat close to your own age, or one of you will end up lonely." The argument actually tends to serve as an argument for avoiding relationships and parenting either altogether or almost altogether.

What is left out is this: (a) none of us knows how much time s/he has left on Earth; and (b) a profoundly awesome 3-year marriage that ends in the death of a spouse is far superior to a mediocre one or a loveless one that lasts decades. Some know that I would take my 3rd wife back in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity. She left me in 1986 and is never coming back, but I can't imagine ever stopping believing that the year and a half we had together was a tremendous gift from God, and knowing even 1% of what I know now and adding to that the hypothetical situation that I could have been granted foreknowledge that she was going to leave me, I still would have jumped in headfirst.

Look at Katherine Limbaugh; she only got so many years with Rush, but listening to her speak about on the radio in the past week convinces me that his brief presence in her life is something she wouldn't trade for anything -- and that, even if she eventually (or even next week) remarries, she will never regret having hitched her wagon to his. And I'm sure she did more for him in this last year than just changing his diapers.

We err when we let our fears dominate the way we live into our futures.
 
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Keith Martin said:
Perhaps I'm just playing the Adversary's Advocate in this instance, but I request that you at least contemplate the possibility that assuming what you've just addressed has weight is to fall down the rabbit hole of accepting limitations in a way that makes the perfect the enemy of the good. These days, our culture spends a great deal of time and energy into talking people out of being in committed relationships, and one of the main avenues of persuasion is along the lines of, "Well, if you do it that way, it won't be ideal." This argument is made very regularly both about getting (or staying) married and having children. "Wait until you're ready." "Marry someone at least somewhat close to your own age, or one of you will end up lonely." The argument actually tends to serve as an argument for avoiding relationships and parenting either altogether or almost altogether.

What is left out is this: (a) none of us knows how much time s/he has left on Earth; and (b) a profoundly awesome 3-year marriage that ends in the death of a spouse is far superior to a mediocre one or a loveless one that lasts decades. Some know that I would take my 3rd wife back in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity. She left me in 1986 and is never coming back, but I can't imagine ever stopping believing that the year and a half we had together was a tremendous gift from God, and knowing even 1% of what I know now and adding to that the hypothetical situation that I could have been granted foreknowledge that she was going to leave me, I still would have jumped in headfirst.

Look at Katherine Limbaugh; she only got so many years with Rush, but listening to her speak about on the radio in the past week convinces me that his brief presence in her life is something she wouldn't trade for anything -- and that, even if she eventually (or even next week) remarries, she will never regret having hitched her wagon to his. And I'm sure she did more for him in this last year than just changing his diapers.

We err when we let our fears dominate the way we live into our futures.
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Amen! Solid Gold!
 
Thanks, DDeL.

Daniel DeLuca said:
Amen! Solid Gold!
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The loneliest people of all are the people who follow that kind of advice, because it ends up functioning as seeking one's approval from the very people who never create true intimacy in their lives.
 
Keith Martin said:
Perhaps I'm just playing the Adversary's Advocate in this instance, but I request that you at least contemplate the possibility that assuming what you've just addressed has weight is to fall down the rabbit hole of accepting limitations in a way that makes the perfect the enemy of the good. These days, our culture spends a great deal of time and energy into talking people out of being in committed relationships, and one of the main avenues of persuasion is along the lines of, "Well, if you do it that way, it won't be ideal." This argument is made very regularly both about getting (or staying) married and having children. "Wait until you're ready." "Marry someone at least somewhat close to your own age, or one of you will end up lonely." The argument actually tends to serve as an argument for avoiding relationships and parenting either altogether or almost altogether.

What is left out is this: (a) none of us knows how much time s/he has left on Earth; and (b) a profoundly awesome 3-year marriage that ends in the death of a spouse is far superior to a mediocre one or a loveless one that lasts decades. Some know that I would take my 3rd wife back in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity. She left me in 1986 and is never coming back, but I can't imagine ever stopping believing that the year and a half we had together was a tremendous gift from God, and knowing even 1% of what I know now and adding to that the hypothetical situation that I could have been granted foreknowledge that she was going to leave me, I still would have jumped in headfirst.

Look at Katherine Limbaugh; she only got so many years with Rush, but listening to her speak about on the radio in the past week convinces me that his brief presence in her life is something she wouldn't trade for anything -- and that, even if she eventually (or even next week) remarries, she will never regret having hitched her wagon to his. And I'm sure she did more for him in this last year than just changing his diapers.

We err when we let our fears dominate the way we live into our futures.
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5 stars, my friend.
 
When it comes down to it. Your future husband who ever that might be is working and growing closer to God. The question a Godly man would ask is not how, he is going to meet his future Godly wife or wives God has for him. He is asking himself in his soul and mind when he talks, reads and listens to any lady how Godly is she and is she demonstrating Godly behaviours. He is praying and listening to the Holy Spirit. God is in control it might not make sense how it will work out, but I can tell in Gods perfect timing it will work out. What I would suggest is continuing focusing on God, pray and prepare yourself to be the best wife possible. Pray for your husband daily and he wherever he might be is praying as well.
 
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Obedient Christian girl said:
I've always respected men's God given right to lead, however, sometimes they need a little help seeing what in front of them.
If a girl wants to be courted by a specific man, is there a way for her to express her interest or is her best option fluttering her eyelashes extra hard when hes around?
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If he is single or if you know he is pro-biblical-family, be bold and ask him for a courtship. Men tend to be nice when they decline. If not then you have the relief of learning right away that he is a real jerk.
If he is married and you don't know if he is pro-biblical-family, befriend every person in the family, and once they all see you as a friend, ask them why men had more than one wife in the Bible. The answer will reveal their position without them knowing yours.
Obedient Christian girl said:
And on men's side, how should they approach courting a girl?
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I think this is virtually impossible unless she is known to be pro-biblical-family.
 
When I met my wife, it was because she was supernaturally uncharacteristically empowered to walk right up to me and start talking and then ask to see me again tomorrow. If that hadn't happened I would have never known she existed. About a week before that, she did not want to go to the place where she was going to meet me, but was suddenly compelled to want to go there and abruptly changed her mind. She was led. But, she also had to act. I assume she had the ability to ignore both leadings, as YWH never forces us to act.
 
Philip said:
When I met my wife, it was because she was supernaturally uncharacteristically empowered to walk right up to me and start talking and then ask to see me again tomorrow. If that hadn't happened I would have never known she existed. About a week before that, she did not want to go to the place where she was going to meet me, but was suddenly compelled to want to go there and abruptly changed her mind. She was led. But, she also had to act. I assume she had the ability to ignore both leadings, as YWH never forces us to act.
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See, many many of us are taught that it is "lady-like" to have the guy, if he is interested, that he makes the first move. I know many times I tried to show initiative and be forward. Rejection every single time. So now I'm gunshy about it. at 36!
 
USDutchkitty said:
See, many many of us are taught that it is "lady-like" to have the guy, if he is interested, that he makes the first move. I know many times I tried to show initiative and be forward. Rejection every single time. So now I'm gunshy about it. at 36!
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That’s the thing about polygyny, it’s more that the female has a lot more choices and needs to be more of a Ruth towards the Boaz that she finds acceptable.
 
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