Oreslag said:
I too loved your post, thank you! However, I do wish to add a point of clarification. In particular, I agree and am also very passionate about avoiding divorce in situations where it is inappropriate, though I do not agree that there is no place for it in a Christian's life.
Indeed, under some circumstances it seems necessary for a man to divorce in order to remain obedient to God. To illustrate from your paragraph above, we should indeed be forgiving, loving, and willing to work things out always. However, it takes willingness on the part of both. A hardened heart (i.e. obstinate unrepentance, perpetual rebellion) on the part of one or the other does not permit reconciliation. To keep with your example, God does not forgive all people their sins, but rather those who receive him (
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John 1:12-13&version=ESV); the rest remain under the condemnation and judgement pronounced in His word.
Not according to Scripture. We are told in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 that believers are not to divorce believers. Period. No excuse for adultery or fornication--nor even for hardened hearts. God tells us that what He has joined together let no man separate--and the implication is that ALL marriages are joined by Him.
(Incidentally, when Jesus mentioned that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of their hearts, it wasn't because there was no possibility of reconciliation. It was because they were wicked, and God would not force a wife to live with a wicked, hardened man. It was because of the hardness of THEIR hearts, not their wives' hearts, if you carefully read what Jesus said.)
Oreslag said:
Thus, marital infidelity is certainly cause for divorce. Also noteworthy, when I use this term I do not refer exclusively to marital infidelity of a sexual nature (as most English translations seem to incorrectly render Jesus' teaching on this matter), but rather to general infidelity. More specifically, obstinate refusal of a wife to submit to her husband.
Marital infidelity is NOT a cause for divorce between believers who are commanded to have the love of Christ. We CANNOT divorce our wives if we have God's love and forgiveness, because there is no case where reconciliation is not possible. Men are COMMANDED by God not to divorce their wives in 1 Corithians 7:11. If reconciliation doesn't seem possible, God still doesn't allow a man to divorce his wife.
Wives are allowed to leave, but they are COMMANDED to remain unmarried or return to their husbands.
These are COMMANDS from God, according to Paul. They aren't suggestions and they don't counter the teachings of Jesus.
Jesus spoke to those under the Law, in terms of the Law. We are not under the Law. The terms of the Law do not apply to believers. Love applies to us.
While those under the Law could "get away" with wicked hard hearts, we cannot--not and remain in Christ. Jesus wasn't about to contradict the Law. The Law was not based upon the Spirit but upon the letter. Those under the Law only had to obey the letter. They didn't have to love as we do, with the eternal Law of God written on our hearts.
I don't know where you get the idea that Jesus is speaking of "general infidelity" rather than "sexual infidelity". The term "infidelity" is never used. Jesus allowed for the single exception in the Law--uncleanness. He defined it as "fornication". Fornication is the word "porneia" and ONLY applies to a sexual sin. It isn't a "general" sin at all. I'm curious who filled your head with such things?
Oreslag said:
I mention this because I've lived it personally. In the case of my first marriage, I attempted to wrest control of it and exercise authority over it once my Lord called me and I came to understand my responsibility in this matter. I had been a very poor head previously and had failed miserably to lead in a number of areas that desperately needed to change; preferring rather to 'keep the peace' through avoidance, which is simply an excuse for failing to lead that permits a man to argue that he leads his family when he actually does not.
However, four and a half years later my ex had not yet shown any desire whatsoever to follow me or to even permit me to participate in fellowship with other Christians without it being a continual battle between us. I told her more than a year before I left that this needed to change or I would leave. She chose not to change. I left. I'm absolutely certain that, though God hates divorce and so should we, He prefers that at least one of two be saved instead of both entering hell as a whole.
Oreslag, you give a classic case of someone straining to justify their own actions. I'm sorry, but you were flat-out wrong in your decision to divorce. You disobeyed the clear command of God on this issue.
Rather than mix up the words of Scripture in an attempt to justify your own sin on this point, you should rather repent and go on. There's little you can do about it now, but teaching others that there is an excuse for divorce for believers is not the right choice at all.
"For what do you know, O wife, whether you shall save your husband? Or what do you know, O man, whether you shall save your wife?" (1 Corinthians 7:16)
Completely contrary to the last thing you stated, God calls us to stay with someone that is a problem IN HOPES THAT WE WILL LEAD THEM TO HIM. To presume that you will lose your salvation over another person would demonstrate the weakness of your position, not the strength we have in Christ. We should be there to lead them the right way "O man".
I would have said nothing, but if this false teaching is allowed, it's going to lead others astray. Better that every man be a liar and God be proved true. I'm sure you are a great guy and a nice person. Your other posts seem fine. But this is flat-out wrong, brother.
John for Christ
