Hi ladies! Please bear with me with this being my first scenario and question post. A little nervous!
I'm in my 30s and was raised by a feminine, thoughtful, and hospitable Christian mother who I naturally learned from by just observing her. She never really taught her ways to me, she just was purely virtuous in all her ways. I consider myself a kind Yahly (Godly), living word-loving, virtuous striving wife who adores her husband and being a helpmeet. To most, I'm considered a traditional wife or old school. I don't think I'm the best homemaker by far, but for every friendship circle or meeting other women and wives, it ranges from me being complimented that I am a virtuous woman, I'm set apart, a homemaker, trad wife, all the way to being avoided after a while after being considered too sweet or "perfect" making me a "threat" to other women feeling less confident around me or that they don't do enough. - By the way, that was very uncomfortable to write because I really want to build a chosen family without making anyone else feel insecure. I want to be 100% myself and I don't even talk about my virtuous woman duties or day-to-day living in these instances to force a standard, I just talk regularly and do things true to me and the environment I want for my household. In fact, I have lived a very imperfect life where some people wouldn't trade places with me if they had to keep my memories, so it saddens me that me being genuinely friendly, hospitable, thoughtful, and putting my best foot forward by choice is a problem for many other women, even those of the faith/Christian background. Because of this, I often go into solitude or volunteer work and refocus on managing healthy boundaries.
And to add, from those I befriended, they were watered-down taught Christians like how I grew up first learning about the Word. They would compliment me, eagerly and graciously accept my meals, gifts, and my company just to later never check in on me and disappear. I honestly did become bitter and broken spirited, but went to therapy, sought wise council, and the Lord about those times in my life to forgive myself and those I did not see as a season or an opportunity to just be a giver to. But now that I am on this journey to add an additional sister or expand community, I'm concerned that being a happy virtuous woman could intimidate another woman. I also want you all to know that I am not currently overall sad like I used to be about this because I am content and introverted for the most part and do not mind focusing solely on just my studies, husband, and household. But we do desire a support system in return with our support system nature one of these days. Lord knows we are not waiting our turn like others have had, lol we want to give still. Some mutual reciprocation that lasts.
So my question is has anyone else dealt with this in any capacity while upholding biblical instruction as a woman and/or wife? Are you the "strong friend" or "strong sisterwife?" that is rarely checked on? How do you keep showing up after repeatedly giving so much of yourself being a sister to those who seemingly desire it so strongly at the time? This is my first time in a biblical-based community in a while, so I'm excited to be here.
I'm in my 30s and was raised by a feminine, thoughtful, and hospitable Christian mother who I naturally learned from by just observing her. She never really taught her ways to me, she just was purely virtuous in all her ways. I consider myself a kind Yahly (Godly), living word-loving, virtuous striving wife who adores her husband and being a helpmeet. To most, I'm considered a traditional wife or old school. I don't think I'm the best homemaker by far, but for every friendship circle or meeting other women and wives, it ranges from me being complimented that I am a virtuous woman, I'm set apart, a homemaker, trad wife, all the way to being avoided after a while after being considered too sweet or "perfect" making me a "threat" to other women feeling less confident around me or that they don't do enough. - By the way, that was very uncomfortable to write because I really want to build a chosen family without making anyone else feel insecure. I want to be 100% myself and I don't even talk about my virtuous woman duties or day-to-day living in these instances to force a standard, I just talk regularly and do things true to me and the environment I want for my household. In fact, I have lived a very imperfect life where some people wouldn't trade places with me if they had to keep my memories, so it saddens me that me being genuinely friendly, hospitable, thoughtful, and putting my best foot forward by choice is a problem for many other women, even those of the faith/Christian background. Because of this, I often go into solitude or volunteer work and refocus on managing healthy boundaries.And to add, from those I befriended, they were watered-down taught Christians like how I grew up first learning about the Word. They would compliment me, eagerly and graciously accept my meals, gifts, and my company just to later never check in on me and disappear. I honestly did become bitter and broken spirited, but went to therapy, sought wise council, and the Lord about those times in my life to forgive myself and those I did not see as a season or an opportunity to just be a giver to. But now that I am on this journey to add an additional sister or expand community, I'm concerned that being a happy virtuous woman could intimidate another woman. I also want you all to know that I am not currently overall sad like I used to be about this because I am content and introverted for the most part and do not mind focusing solely on just my studies, husband, and household. But we do desire a support system in return with our support system nature one of these days. Lord knows we are not waiting our turn like others have had, lol we want to give still. Some mutual reciprocation that lasts.
So my question is has anyone else dealt with this in any capacity while upholding biblical instruction as a woman and/or wife? Are you the "strong friend" or "strong sisterwife?" that is rarely checked on? How do you keep showing up after repeatedly giving so much of yourself being a sister to those who seemingly desire it so strongly at the time? This is my first time in a biblical-based community in a while, so I'm excited to be here.
