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Prayer request Ailing first wife
- Thread starter Robeld
- Start date
Just wanted to share an update. Husband and I have been brainstorming for a while now on how to have a win/win/win situation for all. He is trying to keep a promise to FW concerning resorting to a nursing home when her care became too much. Well, we have actually sat down with a contractor and drew up a rough plan for an addition to my country home that would include a small but totally accessible apartment for her. The advantages to this arrangement would be many, the main one being I could help care for her and he would not be going back and forth between two locations that are almost an hour apart. The main challenge now is to help her see it as a positive move. She doesn't like to relinquish control or accept change, but admits she is very lonely. Most of that has to do with her own introverted tendencies though. Please continue to keep us in prayer. We appreciate it more than you can imagine...
Praying
Love this. This is what it is all about.
This does seem like an excellent solution.
Will be praying for you all.
Do you have a guest room where she could visit a little as a sort of transition so she could get used to the idea?
No not really, as there is no accessability in the main house for her condition. Husband's current house is barely suitable for her to be honest. That is why we have talked to a contractor about specifics. A few of his family members have been clued in to what we would like to do and the response has been very positive. They know the frustration as well...
No not really. I think I probably introduced myself at first but didn't share much personal information, due to really not "coming out" yet. I only share that here on the forums and he has given the ok for that. I have just recently began referring to him as husband here, but no one in our Messianic fellowship or family (except for one family member on my side) knows anything beyond that we are friends and traveling companions. His FW is not on the same page spiritually, but does off-handedly refer to me as wife #2 or concubine. He doesn't like that second term actually.
Just read your story. I don't know what I would do if his FW wouldn't accept me. They (He and Her) have been discussing this arrangement for several months now... ever since he found me again. She has slowly come to view me as a positive addition to their lives instead of someone trying to take something away from her. Initially at first I wanted him to divorce her and marry me with her living with us so we could take care of her. So we have all had to make some adjustments and compromises . I really had to search my heart on what mattered most. A legal document or being in his life as his wife. We have discussed having a commitment ceremony that she was also a part of and me legally changing my last name to his.
The only thing I can say is just keep paying and trying to get her to see the positives so she stops viewing you as a threat and starts viewing you as an ally and an asset to both of their lives.
As you saw in my post I'm still working out my own feelings about my situation but I am starting to feel like it is God's will more and more.
Hello all...
Just dropping in to share what's going on. Two weeks ago, we thought we were going to lose her. I went down to spend the day and help out with what I could. @Shaul even called hospice to have them come and make an assessment. It never got to that point, as she slowly recovered mostly, leaving us thinking she had caught one of the flu bugs going around here. We have written a short 1 page proposal to combine households, and I am continuing to build our friendship slowly. @Shaul will be presenting the proposal to her today, though bits and pieces have been mentioned. He gets little to no response thus far. Asking for prayer for a peaceful but sure acceptance from her, and courage for my husband in the venture ahead. Thanks to you all!
Just dropping in to share what's going on. Two weeks ago, we thought we were going to lose her. I went down to spend the day and help out with what I could. @Shaul even called hospice to have them come and make an assessment. It never got to that point, as she slowly recovered mostly, leaving us thinking she had caught one of the flu bugs going around here. We have written a short 1 page proposal to combine households, and I am continuing to build our friendship slowly. @Shaul will be presenting the proposal to her today, though bits and pieces have been mentioned. He gets little to no response thus far. Asking for prayer for a peaceful but sure acceptance from her, and courage for my husband in the venture ahead. Thanks to you all!
Hi all, here is the latest...
The proposal was presented with very little feedback from her for almost a week. Little did we know that she had been discussing it with her eldest daughter, and getting some opinions from her. Let me say really quick that I am on very good terms with all three of my husbands kids. His daughter is only 2 years younger than me.
Well the topic was finally brought up between he and FW, and we were both very surprised and pleased that she had obviously given it a lot of thought. She really wishes to remain in her home for the remainder of her days, but is willing to let the neighbor friend and hospice provide for her needs. She has released husband from being her main caregiver, and except for a couple times a week to do a few things, he can be on the farm with me. The best thing out of all of this seems to be a better level of openness with everyone. The relationship between her and myself is slowly growing, and I have committed to visiting her once a week. Tonight we are all having supper together and I will be helping her work on her family tree via ancestry.com. Needless to say @Shaul is very happy with the progression of things and we are both praising Yah for His answer to our prayers. Thank you all for your "prayerful participation"!
The proposal was presented with very little feedback from her for almost a week. Little did we know that she had been discussing it with her eldest daughter, and getting some opinions from her. Let me say really quick that I am on very good terms with all three of my husbands kids. His daughter is only 2 years younger than me.
Well the topic was finally brought up between he and FW, and we were both very surprised and pleased that she had obviously given it a lot of thought. She really wishes to remain in her home for the remainder of her days, but is willing to let the neighbor friend and hospice provide for her needs. She has released husband from being her main caregiver, and except for a couple times a week to do a few things, he can be on the farm with me. The best thing out of all of this seems to be a better level of openness with everyone. The relationship between her and myself is slowly growing, and I have committed to visiting her once a week. Tonight we are all having supper together and I will be helping her work on her family tree via ancestry.com. Needless to say @Shaul is very happy with the progression of things and we are both praising Yah for His answer to our prayers. Thank you all for your "prayerful participation"!
Hey all,
As you can imagine, FW is very distraught over this Covid 19 situation. We are in lockdown here in Indiana for the most part. We can still travel to grocery stores, pharmacies, dr appointments. Husband has been coming here and going back there, with her being extremely nervous about it all. Very understandable since if she should contract it, she most likely would not survive. Her 80th birthday is coming up in May. To add to all her stress, her cat will mostly likely have to be put down tomorrow due to age related issues. Please pray for Yahweh to strengthen and encourage @Shaul during this stressful time, and to cover FW with His peace. We are sooo thankful we KNOW who we rest in! Thank you all...
As you can imagine, FW is very distraught over this Covid 19 situation. We are in lockdown here in Indiana for the most part. We can still travel to grocery stores, pharmacies, dr appointments. Husband has been coming here and going back there, with her being extremely nervous about it all. Very understandable since if she should contract it, she most likely would not survive. Her 80th birthday is coming up in May. To add to all her stress, her cat will mostly likely have to be put down tomorrow due to age related issues. Please pray for Yahweh to strengthen and encourage @Shaul during this stressful time, and to cover FW with His peace. We are sooo thankful we KNOW who we rest in! Thank you all...
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