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101 things to do while waiting for a second wife

116. Start laying the mind traps needed for your future ex friends to fall in when you have the discussion.
117. prepare yourself to defend against all the unwritten laws in the Bible that everyone seemed to get the memo on but you.
118. set up conversations with friends/family about the crazy polygamist so you can listen with pride as your wife defends PM to them
119. Make it known by all your wife supports PM to try and limit the cult leader/brainwasher title you will soon have
120. Prepare yourself to accept the fact none of this ground work is actually going to help you when that day comes
 
Hey sicouple, although I have no experience in the matter (see reason #19), your number 120 sounds so true.

121. Move beyond compounds and BUY AN ISLAND (http://www.privateislandsonline.com/ ).
122. Decorate your car with "Honk if you are open to polygamy" bumper stickers.
123. Involve the entire family in a team building craft activity, such as for example making enough tin foil hats for everyone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tin_foil_hat ).
124. In case you were wondering why you have all those tin foil hats, it is so you can all wear them when you are visited for "the talk" (#32) (this will give you something to laugh about after the ex-communication).
125. Keep an eye out for annual festivals with dancing being held in neighbouring states (Judges 21).
126. Make a full inventory of your first wife's clothing (yes that includes shoes), a food schedule of what she eats in a week (even the secret chocolates) and of course a conjugal diary (notebook under the pillow works for me) , and then make a solemn pledge to not diminish any of the big three (Ex 21:10). Of course if you picked a particularly active week you may have created a rod for your own back!

ylop
 
127. Marry plural families for TV shows
128. Just think of how much people are going to talk about you after the show comes on.
129.Redo the you might be a red neck jokes with you might be a dirty pliggy jokes. (Sorry Bud, lol I am still laughing about that car ride!)
130. Start a church
131. Put ad on craigs lists again and hope no more wiccians and pegans answer youre add.
132. Hope the next woman you go out to meet at least has some sanity left.
133. and teeth
134. Ask wife to be a little nicer to the next one (lol, sorry Becky)
135. prepare new speach for new mother in law. (provided she doesn't believe in pm)
136 Renew Sams Club Member ship.
137. Have all the scholars from BF on your speed dail just in case when you meet the new mother in law. ( you know this one is true)
138. Try to find cheap used little bus.
139. Find out how my father got 7 wives and how he stayed sane!
140. Learn too act like I don't see two sets of the stink eye every time I act like a kid.
141. Have a hide out for when I get more then the stink eye. (lol)
142. Make more dirty pligy jokes.
143. make it too a dang retreat!
 
144. Even though the mormon church doesn't want you there. Try to find out how calling a woman a 10cow wife isn't going to get her mad lol.
 
The best thing too say for 116 or any problem for that situation is too say "The last time I checked this was America" then walk away by the time they figured out that made no sence what so ever you are already gone. :D
sicouple said:
116. Start laying the mind traps needed for your future ex friends to fall in when you have the discussion.
117. prepare yourself to defend against all the unwritten laws in the Bible that everyone seemed to get the memo on but you.
118. set up conversations with friends/family about the crazy polygamist so you can listen with pride as your wife defends PM to them
119. Make it known by all your wife supports PM to try and limit the cult leader/brainwasher title you will soon have
120. Prepare yourself to accept the fact none of this ground work is actually going to help you when that day comes
Click to expand...
 
Still haven't found a second wife which leads me to:

145. Buy three sets of matching pajamas.
146. Involve the children by playing the memory game "When I went to town" which goes like this, I start with "When I went to town and got a second wife, I also got 40 lb of seed corn" then next child "When I went to town and got a second wife, I also got 40 lb of seed corn and an axe" and so on.
147. Build an underground bunker to hide the wife and kids in like they do in Juniper Creek.
148. Develop a taste for vegetarian food coz that is what alternate lifestyle women eat.
149. Invent a series of code words for early warning of visits like "white rabbit" for social worker and "grey ghost" for church elder.
150. Take a community college course in dispute resolution, three times.

ylop
 
ylop said:
149. Invent a series of code words for early warning of visits like "white rabbit" for social worker and "grey ghost" for church elder.
Click to expand...
In this vein ...

151. Redesign your entryway / front door to resemble a giant, old-fashioned looking-glass. (As in Lewis Carrol's Alice in Wonderland or somesuch). Stepping through which occurs every time you are forced to deal with a "white rabbit" or a "grey ghost".
152. Build a chopper motorcycle with a king/queen/queen seat.
 
156. Order new stationary with the return address embossed on the envelopes reading "Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs. ------."

157. Stencil "Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs. ------" on your mailbox so it matches the return address on your new envelopes.

158. For the very optimistic: buy enough stencils (or stick-on lettering) to add your third wife to the mailbox.

(Wonder what Solomon's mailbox looked like? :lol: )
 
159. Seek psychological help for temporarily believing in the possibility of three wives when number two isn't even on the radar scope!
 
PolyDoc said:
(Wonder what Solomon's mailbox looked like? :lol: )
Click to expand...

His household simply had it's own zip code, silly!
 
LOL. Thanks for the laugh guys! Those are great!! I actually found myself thinking about 74.. the whole sleeping alone thing will be hard, good idea to get used to it! ;)
 
162. Run for a Senate seat so you have got that milestone out of the way prior to becoming polygamous.
163. Develop the geriatric creepiness rule (current age x 2 + 7 years) and join a senior citizens group to tap into the huge pool of unattached women there.
164. (For husbands) Sleep on the lounge-room floor every second night to help your wife get used to the idea. Sure to be a winner for both parties.

ylop
 
This is soo funny. As a single woman looking for a family, we are just
as impatient. How long Lord?
Make sure the 1st wife is ready for sure.
dd
 
165. Create an employee, er, "family" handbook of policies, expectations, and standards.
166. Abandon project 165 when the printout passes a kilo in weight.
167. Pass out http://www.biblicalfamilies.org business card sized, um, cards in front of the supermarket.
 
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