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Young men and older women

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DeathIsNotTheEnd

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Ok so, not sure where to put this...


Lol this may be a bit of a quirky off topic idea, but I was wondering what you all think.

It strikes me that usually, husbands are older or near in age to their wives, and this tends to increase as the man's age increases as, scientifically, men tend to seek young women as mates.

But it occurred to me that especially in our society...
There are a lot of hot mamas out there!

Lol.
In seriousness, my question is really: how would you guys view a young man, raised Biblically and with a strong faith/moral core, identity, and ability and experience to work and to be a leader (a rare person these days, to be sure, but I actually know at least 1), say 18 years old... marrying a, say, 35 year old woman, who for the sake of the example is ideal (beautiful inside and out, competent but humble, a great follower, pure, etc...)??
Would that be impossible by default? Or could God set such a thing up? Take care of widows, after all...
 
Can it work? Yes. But how many probables would you encounter? The first, right off the bat is who will be head of household? The Biblical answer is the man. In real life, she would have twice the life experience than a man half her age. Most of us have made decisions at 18, and now twice, three times that age, wish we could go back and undo bad decisions we’ve made. How will she respond to bad decisions from someone with little life experiences.

That being said, is this 35 year old wife going to sit back and watch her 18 year old husband make a decision she sees as a train wreck? Or would she assume leadership? Once leadership is given away, it is difficult and virtually impossible to take back.

If the reverse were to occur, a younger wife would look at experience and wisdom as enticing. With an older woman wanting a younger man, where is this woman’s maturity level? Why does she want someone so much younger?

The scenario you asked about has a lot of pre-placed problems within it.
 
There is nothing morally wrong with marrying an older women. Could God? Sure. In the case of Leverite marriage it could even be mandated. But in most cases it is incredibly unwise in general and most people do not have the wisdom to see when they are that true exception.

It is hard for a woman to follow a man who is not better than her, and that includes being older/wiser. Your 'ideal woman', were she to exist, would still struggle with this because she has the same carnal nature as all women.

But such ideal women do not exist, esp. at age 35, esp. among the 'mammas'. And at any rate, it would be better she marry someone older than her.

And if the man is seeking a woman 'as mate' then 35 is also unwise as there isn't much fertility left there. That may be less of a concern if she's a second or third wife, but if you're monogamous, and esp if she's never had a kid before, there is a high likelihood she won't be able to conceive. And for sure not many times at that.
 
As above, I see no moral or biblical objections and I agree regarding the concerns over wisdom from a young man to lead a mature 'life-experienced' woman. Where I'm currently located, there are many young women wanting a mature Christian man. Your question may end up as only speculation. ;)
 
I agree it is just speculation. And I personally, at 31, would not marry someone more than a year or two older than me. But I have also met a couple 20 year olds who have more maturity and wisdom than I did, by far, at their age, and act in many ways like a peer of mine, with jobs and families and so on :)
 
Depends on the man and depends on the woman IMO...
I’d agree with our brothers above that it comes down to the man’s ability to lead and the gal’s ability to follow...

However, if a man is truly following after the Lord and His Ways, then God will prosper that man as promised repeatedly throughout His Word, especially Torah!
I’d say that the benefits of taking an older godly wife far outweigh the possible problems. Again, depending on her maturity, humility, and ability to follow the leadership of the younger man, and depending on his maturity and ability to lead.
I also think often we need to step back from some built in cultural biases we westerners tend to have concerning relationships and marriage.

I’ll say two things...
1) a son of mine, if steadfast in the Lord and good Patriarch material by 18 years of age, would be an absolute genius to take a 30 something year old sister in the Lord as a wife (if she would submit to his headship and rule)
2) I’m around your same age @EternalDreamer , and am currently prayerfully determined to court a godly woman that is twice my age
 
I agree with rustywest4 completely.
rustywest4 said:
if a man is truly following after the Lord and His Ways, then God will prosper that man as promised repeatedly throughout His Word
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I believe there is much a young man can learn from an older, more mature woman and make him a stronger, wiser leader. There are adversities within any relationship, and within those adversities are blessings if we look for them. If a young man, or any man for that matter, finds a woman or women of strong christian character, it really shouldn't matter if she is younger or older. Our Father's blessings come in many forms.
 
Thank you all for the replies :)

I definitely agree that it would depend greatly on the individuals. Personally, for myself, I would struggle with it. It would be hard for me to trust that she ever truly respected or looked up to me, probably for programmed cultural reasons. But I also believe there are a lot of older single women out there whom God still sees as His beautiful daughters, and I just sense that it would fit His character to give them to a younger (but competent) man, who could finally give them some of that excitement, joy, and fireworks of a new relationship that they never thought they would have: to make them feel beautiful and wanted despite their age.
 
As YHWH leads.
Authority and headship are hard concepts for many to walk in these days and it will take special people to accomplish it with a large age gap in that direction.

(We were posting at the same time, but I will say that if your focus is older women then that makes you an ageist and youth-shaming to all of those poor young things.;):rolleyes:)
 
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Oooooooooooooooooooo !!!! The Dream Man has some preach in him !!!! :rolleyes::D
EternalDreamer said:
Thank you all for the replies :)

... I also believe there are a lot of older single women out there whom God still sees as His beautiful daughters, and I just sense that it would fit His character to give them to a younger (but competent) man, who could finally give them some of that excitement, joy, and fireworks of a new relationship that they never thought they would have: to make them feel beautiful and wanted despite their age.
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One thing that I have wondered about is all the women that were widows because their husbands died so that everyone else could enter the promised land. All of the available men would have been no older than 60 except Joshua and Caleb and the women would have concievably been as old as 120’s to 150’s. Thats a huge amount of older women needing a husband.
 
Verifyveritas76 said:
One thing that I have wondered about is all the women that were widows because their husbands died so that everyone else could enter the promised land. All of the available men would have been no older than 60 except Joshua and Caleb and the women would have concievably been as old as 120’s to 150’s. Thats a huge amount of older women needing a husband.
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I hadn’t considered that only the men would be prematurely removed, but you are most likely right.
 
Verifyveritas76 said:
One thing that I have wondered about is all the women that were widows because their husbands died so that everyone else could enter the promised land. All of the available men would have been no older than 60 except Joshua and Caleb and the women would have concievably been as old as 120’s to 150’s. Thats a huge amount of older women needing a husband.
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That is especially interesting considering the average family, headed into the wilderness had 6-7 wives. Further, the warriors in the wilderness captured tens of thousands of war brides... each family was HUGE.
 
steve said:
I hadn’t considered that only the men would be prematurely removed, but you are most likely right.
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Also explains why Isaiah 4:1 will happen... men will refuse to be obedient and fall in the wilderness... and, it us an example of judgment on the head without touching the family... at least not directly.

May we be Joshuas and Calebs, pursuing the Father in righteousness and faith.
 
Verifyveritas76 said:
One thing that I have wondered about is all the women that were widows because their husbands died so that everyone else could enter the promised land. All of the available men would have been no older than 60 except Joshua and Caleb and the women would have concievably been as old as 120’s to 150’s. Thats a huge amount of older women needing a husband.
Click to expand...

Whoa Nelly, this is huge. And like @PeteR says, explains a lot about the future.
 
Phillip said:
That being said, is this 35 year old wife going to sit back and watch her 18 year old husband make a decision she sees as a train wreck? Or would she assume leadership? Once leadership is given away, it is difficult and virtually impossible to take back.
Click to expand...
Your comments are well worth consideration for any young man considering such a marriage. Many years ago I came into contact with a couple, he was around 20 and she was around 50. yet I have never seen a more submissive wife. Due to my own flaws in thinking, when I was working in their home (if he was outside ) I would ask her what she required, her response put me back in my place, "Ill just ask my husband" and she did, she was no mother to him but a she was a loyal faithful wife. What he saw was the person not just the body. A little like David with Abigail.
 
Aussies said:
Your comments are well worth consideration for any young man considering such a marriage. Many years ago I came into contact with a couple, he was around 20 and she was around 50. yet I have never seen a more submissive wife. Due to my own flaws in thinking, when I was working in their home (if he was outside ) I would ask her what she required, her response put me back in my place, "Ill just ask my husband" and she did, she was no mother to him but a she was a loyal faithful wife. What he saw was the person not just the body. A little like David with Abigail.
Click to expand...

She was a wise 50. :)

That is why the older women need to teach the younger women how to love thier husbands. By the time they get to 50 they start to get it. :)
 
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