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What to do When A Woman Has No Father Over Her

Dr. K.R. Allen

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Real Person
For those who do not have fathers we can look to the way it was handled in the early NT era. The term father was used in two ways, physical or spiritual. An overseer or elder or bishop (interchangeable terms) was a father figure to the sheep. Thus, this is why it is important today for people to be disciples or students or sheep with mature men they can look to for spiritual guidance.

Take for example Ignatius and his thoughts on this matter from the early church era. Ignatius (AD 30-107), a disciple trained under Apostle John along with Polycarp, revealed how things were ordered in the early church life era. For those who joined he said:

“Flee evil arts; but all the more discourse in public regarding them. Speak to my sisters, that they love the Lord, and be satisfied with their men both in the flesh and the spirit. In like manner also, exhort my brethren, in the name of Jesus Christ, that they love their women, even as the Lord the Church. If any one can continue in a state of purity, to the honour of Him who is Lord of the flesh, let him so remain without boasting; If he begins to boast, he is undone; and if he reckon himself greater than the bishop, he is ruined. But it becomes both men and women who join in a union to form their union with the approval of the bishop, that their union may be according to God, and not after their own lust. Let all things be done to the honour of God” (Ignatius to Polycarp, Ante-Nice Fathers, Vol. 1, p. 95).

Men and women who were disciples of the Lord in the NT often were without any parent after coming to Christ. Many were Jews and were thrown out of the home. Many were Gentiles and their parents were pagan and they too kicked out the newly saved people for being religious crazies. So many people were losing all they had when they came to Christ. Thus, this is where the spiritual overseers had a vital role to play. It was also one reason why when Paul gave a list of qualifications to Timothy and Titus on how to pick an elder he made it clear they were to be family men. He asked them how can a man who cannot lead his own family be a good leader over God's family (see 1st Tim. 3:5).

Thus, in those days a shepherd helped to guide people into holy unions. He was often the third member on the outside looking in to give his approval or not give approval after evaluating the maturity of the people seeking to be in a union. He was functioning in many cases like the physical father was in the OT or the third person objective family member who helped give insight into the situation for those seeking to be in a union.

Of course prideful people and rebels hate the idea of discipleship today and balk at it so in those circles it is not common nor loved. But it is biblical and very important. Those who are humble and walking with the Lord past and present understand the wisdom and value of it especially when they find how it can help them form a holy family and then to keep it together as well.

We can also see this clearly in the Bible where it says:

"But if any man thinks that he is behaving himself improperly toward his virgin, if she be past the flower of her age, and if need so require it, let him do what he will; he sins not; let them join. But he that stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, to keep his own virgin, shall do well. So then both he that gives his own virgin in marriage does well; and he that does not give her in marriage shall do well” (1 Cor. 7:36-37).

The phrase “let them join” has to be translated as a plural verb as it is a Finite verb, 3rd Person, PLURAL, Imperative (a command), active verb. This verb along with the masculine pronoun (his) shows there was someone in authority above the woman & man who were seeking to unite. In the early church the disciples looked unto the male spiritual fathers (who were sometimes physical fathers but at times only spiritual fathers; see 1 Thess. 5:12-13; 3 John 4; Hebrews 13:17; ). The physical family, brothers, sisters, fathers, etc looked to their spiritual fathers and those families for guidance in the life of Christ. Too, if 1 Tim. 3:2 means the elders were to be joined men that is also weight for the familial oversight of the early churches. The elders were respected family men who other families could model their lives after in their daily life. In many cases the virgins who were saved had no spiritual fathers over them for leadership and thus it was the spiritual fathers who were approving or granting these ladies into holy unions or at times rejecting the idea and leading the men and ladies in another direction.
 
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