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What is The Purpose of Marriage?

wifeone

New Member
I am just curious to know what other people think or believe. When God first brought polygyny to my attention, I began to feel lost. Almost everything that I thought that marriage was about, was not necessarily true or biblical. That left me feeling lost about what a marriage should be like. Finding purpose helps one to find direction; thus leading to what something should be like. So what are your opinions? What is the purpose of marriage for a man? & What is the purpose of marriage for a woman?
 
It seems like your asking two questions, Purpose OF Marriage and Purpose IN Marriage.

I believe The Purpose "of" Marriage is: Unity, LOVE, Safety, and of course Children.

I believe Purpose "in" Marriage is specific to each family.
A Husband's purpose is specific to things like; Wife(s), Kid(s), Where you live, Income, and Family Goals.
A Wife's purpose would be chosen out of things she wants to do, and those then are submitted to the Husband for decision.

For a guide use the Fruits of the Spirit.
 
It seems to me that the purpose of marriage is to assure that the parents of children are always together, for life. I think all of us would love to know our mom and dad will always be together. That would be the ideal.

Reality is not the ideal. and in today's world of contractual unions, most people consider their own desires and appetites over and above the dedication to family. Marriage is seldom cherished as the foundation of family, but instead is a romantic union, and once the fire of romance has faded, is tossed away in lieu of the search for a new romance.

In my studies regarding marriage globally, i was surprised to find out that arranged marriages in India have a much higher success rate than so-called "love based" marriages. It seems that even though these children in India grow up knowing they are already committed to a spouse they did not choose, they do manage to build a foundation solid enough that love and family grows out of it.

So, it seems to me that the purpose of marriage is family. There is a love and a bond that forms out of a commitment to build a family unit. Many women have realized it makes sense to pool their resources, affections, talents and assets into one marriage, one family, with a good Godly husband at the helm. Sometimes the man may be less than the ideal husband, but the love and support of a good wife or wives can often help build confidence and good charachter in a man. There is an old saying, "give a dog a good name, he'll be a good dog,.... call your dog 'poophead', and dont be surprised if that is what you end up with." That principle applies to husbands and children and wives too. Dont use your tongue to belittle and humiliate each other, use it to build each other up.

Just a few of my thoughts on the matter.

Paul
 
Well I felt like you the first time I heard of pleural marriage and well honestly as I had never fully looked into the subject and actually had never read the entire bible( I am slowly getting through it now) I thought it was crazy. My boyfriend at the time(now my fiance) introduced me to it and I began to look into it to prove him wrong. As I looked there was nothing wrong and I was shocked and as I began to realize this, well I have accepted it but I am still learning.

I am a woman and my belief is that a Woman goes into a marriage for love, security, and to be a loving wife to her husband. I believe the woman must let the husband know what she wants in life and go to him to help make a decison about where to go from there. The man is the decision maker of the family and in some cases he is the provider over all.

For a man...well being I am not a man that is a little harder. I believe a man's purpose of marriage is to be someone's security, provider, to know that she is taken care of and for children. Yes I believe it is for love as well along with having someone there to care for him in certain ways. I believe though a man may not be the best husband that with the right wife(s) he learns more and becomes a better man over all. With the right woman at his side he wants to be a better person and becomes that as he can.

Family is the the biggest purpose of marriage for both women and men.

I believe over all though that each and every woman and man have their own picture of what marriage is no matter what. As long as you communicate, love and support the other person no matter where life goes. Always talk and as God takes you down your path have faith that he knows what is best for you and your family.
 
The purpose of marriage? To build a team in order to accomplish a God given goal. I'll reply later about The husband and wife specifically when I have more time.
 
i am going to be very simplistic here, please forgive me

YHWH created adam and then said that it was not good for him to be alone
YHWH did not then proceed to make another like adam to be his friend but took eve from out of adam and said that together they are one

conclusions:
we are not right with creation nor are we whole when we are alone

i do believe that being married is not all there is to being one. i believe that it is the start and that we can continue to grow and become more deeply one.
my goal for myself and my marriage (borrowing from an old army slogan) is to be all that we can be
 
Steve,
I want to agree with you that we should be all that we can be and would like to add our lord and savior in the mix. I want to be all that he wants us to be. Marriage is a start and it is something that God has given us to use as a tool. We must now take that marriage and turn it into a lifetime of love and happiness. We must love, respect and care for each other and let no one damage the house we are building. I don't feel a person male or female should live a life alone and God did not feel that way either. This is one of the reason Lacey and I love and want a plural marriage. We have so much love in our hearts and we desire to share that love and build on what God has given us. Most married couples on Biblical Families are looking to add to their family and I truly believe this is what God wants us to do. I will pray that everyone has their pray answered and we all will grow, love, and share a lifetime of happiness together.
 
james,
yes, we cannot be all that we can be without the understanding that we are bought with a price and that we are not our own. we can only do well with and under our creator and our savior
 
The purpose of marriage? So that one would not be alone, have a fit companion, hold fast to each other and become one flesh
***Gen 2: 18Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." . . . But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. . . .22And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. . . . 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Being one flesh, they being godly could have the godly offspring God seeks
***Malachi 2:15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.

So the days of this finite life could be spent enjoying life and love together
***Eccles 9:9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.

So that they could be blessed in their marital intimacy
******Prov. 5:18 Your fountain/genital should be blessed; and rejoice and be glad with the wife of your youth. 19 . . . her breasts should satisfy/intoxicate/saturate you at all times; you should be intoxicated continually with her [sexual] loving
***Solomon and the Shulamite of the Bible's Song of Solomon (Canticles) model for us delightful marital intimacy:

Song 1:2 [Wife] He should kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
    For your loving is better than wine; . . .
    13 My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh
       resting between my breasts.

2:16 [Wife]His left hand is under my head,
   and his right hand embraces me!
    17 Until the day breathes
   and the shadows flee,
    turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle
   or a young stag on cleft mountains [her breasts].

3:4[WIFE] Scarcely had I passed them
       when I found him whom my soul loves.
    I held him, and would not let him go . . . .

4:  [HUSBAND] 1Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
   behold, you are beautiful [to me]! . . .
    5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
       like twin fawns of a gazelle
       that browse among the lilies.
    6 Until the day breaks
       and the shadows flee,
       I will go to the mountain of myrrh [one of her breasts]
       and to the hill of incense [her other breast ].
    7 You are altogether beautiful [to me], my love; . . .
    9 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
       you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
    10How beautiful is your loving, my sister, my bride!
       How much better is your loving than wine,
       and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
    11Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
        honey and milk are under your tongue;
       the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
    12 My sister, my bride, [you are] a locked garden—
        a locked garden and a sealed spring.
    13 Your branches [arms and legs]  are a paradise  of pomegranates
       with choicest fruits,
        henna with nard—
   14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
        with all the trees of frankincense,
        myrrh and aloes,
        with all the best spices [available at most supermarkets].
    15 [You are] a garden spring,
        a well of flowing water
        streaming from Lebanon.

    [WIFE]4:16 Awaken,  north wind—
    come, south wind.
    Blow on my garden [her body],
    and spread the fragrance of its spices.
    My love should come to his garden [HER]
    and eat its choicest fruits.

5:[HUSBAND] 1 I have come to my garden—my sister, my bride.
    I gather my myrrh with my spices.
    I eat my honeycomb with my honey.
    I drink my wine with my milk. . . .
    5 I rose to open for my love.
    My hands dripped with myrrh,
    my fingers with flowing myrrh . . .

   [WIFE]16 His mouth is sweetness.
    He is absolutely desirable. . . .

7: [HUSBAND]1 How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess!
    The curves of your thighs are like jewelry,
    the handiwork of a master. . . .
3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
       twins of a gazelle.
6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
       O love, with your delights!
7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
       and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
 8 I said, "I will climb the palm tree;
       I will take hold of its fruit [her breasts]."
       May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine,
       the fragrance of your breath like apples,
  
[WIFE] 7:10 I belong to my love,
    and his desire  is for me.
  11 Come, my love,
    let's go to the field;
    let's spend the night among the henna blossoms.

8:[WIFE] 3 His left hand is under my head,
    and his right hand embraces me. . . .
    14 Come away, my lover,
       and be like a gazelle
       or like a young stag
       on the spice-laden mountains [her breasts]. [From NIV, ESV, HCSB]

Queen Esther prepared herself in a very similar manner for her honeymoon night.
Esther 2:"12Now when the turn of each maiden came to go in to King Ahasuerus, after the regulations for the women had been carried out for twelve months--since this was the regular period for their beauty treatments, six months with oil of myrrh and six months with sweet spices and perfumes and the things for the purifying of the women--   13Then in this way the maiden came to the king: whatever she desired was given her to take with her from the harem into the king's palace."

So that they could help save each other from sexual immorality
***1 Cor 7: 1* ¶ But concerning the things of which ye have written to me: It is good for a man[444] not to continue -keep on - touching a woman(1135); 2 but because of and to avoid sexual immorality each man should be [sexually] having his own woman(1135), and each woman should be [sexually] having her own man[435]. . . .4. The woman(1135) doesn't have [sexual] authority over her own body, but the husband[435] [does]; in like manner also the man[435] doesn't have [sexual] authority over his own body, but the woman(1135) [does]. 5 Do not be denying each other [sexually], unless, it may be, by consent for a time, that you may devote yourselves to fasting and prayer, and again be conjugally cohabiting [sexually reuniting], that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinence .

So that they could learn to Love each other after the manner of 1 Cor 13 with a Love that has long patience, is kind; is not emulous/envious; is not insolent and rash, is not puffed up, does not behave in an unseemly manner, does not seek its
own, is not quickly provoked, does not impute or take account of evil, does not rejoice at iniquity/unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth; that always/daily, thoroughly and patiently<3956> endures<4722>; that always/daily thoroughly<3956> believes, hopes thoroughly always/daily<3956>; that always/daily thoroughly and patiently remains, perseveres, and abides<3956>; and that never drops away, never is driven out, never fails, falls away or becomes ineffective<1601>
 
How odd. I was just a few days ago putting my thoughts on this topic down. It sometimes helps me to clarify them for myself.

We all know what marriage should be. The Lord saw fit to spell it out in his Word. Ahh, but why marriage. We could be like the wolf pack - the Alpha male and female mate for life and the other wolves are there to help protect the pack and keep the kids fed. If a teenager gets too uppity, he's gone. Yeah that's part of it for us too. Another part is that it really takes two adults to keep a home running smoothly. It can be done, but ask any single parent, it's rough. In the past, the difference between the number of adult men and adult women was often greater than today. Often the men would be away for months or years fighting some king's wars. What a comfort it must of been to have a sister wife or wives to comfort each other and share the burdens of maintaining a home. Wouldn't our current crop of military families benefit the same way? All that is just part of the picture. We guys not only have a God shaped hole in our souls, but a woman shaped one in our hearts. Sometimes that one is really big and the poor monogamous guy is left wondering why he still feels empty. After all, he has a great relationship with the Lord, and a wonderful wife he loves deeply, but something is still missing. A polygamous marriage allows him to fill that hole. But, what about the woman, doesn't she sometimes have room in her heart for more than one man? I'm no expert on the make-up of women, but I've been observing them all my life. First off there is no Biblical support of a woman having two husbands that I can find. But in practice, I've never known a woman to love more than one man at a time. I think that women have a built in desire to find a strong, loving, supportive man who can, and will, care for her and the children to have together. I hope I don't come across as chauvinistic, and I know there are women out there who say that they don't want children, but it's been my experience that they don't say very loudly when they're holding a baby in their arms. I feel that a big part of a woman's resistance to the thought of a sister wife is the fear of losing the one who cares for her.
Wow, I've wandered.

Purposes:

Meet belonging needs - we all feel a need to belong

Meet each others emotional needs - sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to share a moment with

Provide a safe stable environment for family - we all need to feel safe and secure and kids need a stable, supportive home

I guess those three things sum it up for me.

:)
 
A great great great part of the confusion that modern religious society holds in regards to marriage is the line where God says :" not good that the man should be alone" They have assumed that God means that it is not good for the man to be lonely. But lonely and alone are two different words.

The thrust of this passage may be that Jehovah did not want there to be only one man on the planet. Another way of saying it would be that it is not good that there should be one lone man on the earth. The word ALONE can mean singular in number. And by the creation of Eve, there can now be more men on the planet via her giving birth to them. It may be that this was the job that Adam needed a help meet for. He was not capable of reproducing asexually.

Of course, there is more to marriage than just the conception and the birthing process. There is the raising of the children which includes nurturing, education, feeding, etc.

And when the help meet shows respect towards her husband, the children see that and learn to revere him as well. This all leads to a harmonious society.
 
Polygamy as gracious living.

As rich societies get richer & better organised, widespread polygamy could be seen as a measure of wealth & good social organisation, and will be a source of pride for society. Polygamy can be a form of gracious living.

There are international measures of human well being, and a successful polygamous society of the future will take pride that their polygamous wives are long lived, in good health, free from harm, and have good access to health and education.

The husband treasures his harem, and the wives treasure their lord. Successful polygamy looks better than successful monogamy, and women could take pride in being part of a harem.

Polygamy is the next step up to an enchanted future. For the religious minded, polygamous, gracious living can be seen as a way of praising the Lord.
 
cbv3123 said:
The purpose of marriage? To build a team in order to accomplish a God given goal. I'll reply later about The husband and wife specifically when I have more time.
I like this starting statement.
Carl
 
A purpose of marriage is to give the widow, the abandoned mother (James 1:27), a home.
***He gives the barren woman a home,making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD! Psalm 113:8-9
***Deut 25:5If brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, his wife shall not be married to a stranger outside the family. Her husband's [single or married] brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband's brother to her. . . . [In Christ we are all brethren}
***1 Tm 5:14 Therefore, I want younger widows(5503) to marry, have children, manage their households, and give the adversary no opportunity to accuse us.
***1 Cor 7:8 I say to the unmarried and to bereft [abandoned or widowed] women: It is good for them if they remain [unmarried] as I am. 9 But if they are not consistently abstaining from sinning sexually, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire
The Word for the godly husband, and his godly wife if he has one, who have adequate material possessions, about seeing a widow, or a woman who has lost her husband or the father of her children, under command to marry and in need of a godly husband:
***1 Jn 3:16 This is how we have come to know love: He, [Jesus Christ,] laid down His Life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brethren. 17 If anyone has this world's material possessions and sees his fellow believer in need but has no pity on him, closing his heart against him, how can the Love of God be abiding in him? 18 Dear children, we should not Love with words or speech but with actions and in Truth. 19 This then is how we know that we belong to the Truth, and how we assure and set our hearts at rest in His presence . . .
***"So any person who knows what is right to do but does not do it, to him it is sin." James 4:16-17
 
I would like to write a paper on this topic, so I would like to resurrect this thread. So far I have the following purposes:
  • Procreation
  • Sexual Purity
  • Protection for Women
  • Reflection of Christ and the Church
  • Spiritual Leadership/Headship
A great great great part of the confusion that modern religious society holds in regards to marriage is the line where God says :" not good that the man should be alone"
I am also interested to hear other perspectives on this idea. I tend to lean toward the reproduction interpretation, but I am open to hear other thoughts.

I would like to explore this topic because when polygyny is discussed a go to accusation is, "You just want to have sex with multiple women." This statement, often by Christians, shows a true lack of understanding of the scope of Biblical Marriage. On the other hand, men do tend to want to have sex with multiple women, by God's design, and this desire can lead to an unfit man only thinking about that aspect of plural marriages. So I think it would be helpful to have a comprehensive exploration of what the Godly purpose of marriage is in order to properly frame why a man should desire one or more wives and why a wife should desire to have a husband.
 
I would like to write a paper on this topic, so I would like to resurrect this thread. So far I have the following purposes:
  • Procreation
  • Sexual Purity
  • Protection for Women
  • Reflection of Christ and the Church
  • Spiritual Leadership/Headship

I am also interested to hear other perspectives on this idea. I tend to lean toward the reproduction interpretation, but I am open to hear other thoughts.

I would like to explore this topic because when polygyny is discussed a go to accusation is, "You just want to have sex with multiple women." This statement, often by Christians, shows a true lack of understanding of the scope of Biblical Marriage. On the other hand, men do tend to want to have sex with multiple women, by God's design, and this desire can lead to an unfit man only thinking about that aspect of plural marriages. So I think it would be helpful to have a comprehensive exploration of what the Godly purpose of marriage is in order to properly frame why a man should desire one or more wives and why a wife should desire to have a husband.
I’m sorry, but I’m rather simplistic.
Women were created to be under headship and polygyny is the only system that accommodates that.
Men need to become available for that position. Doing it for the sex is self centered and shortsighted.
 
I would like to write a paper on this topic, so I would like to resurrect this thread. So far I have the following purposes:
  • Procreation
  • Sexual Purity
  • Protection for Women
  • Reflection of Christ and the Church
  • Spiritual Leadership/Headship

I am also interested to hear other perspectives on this idea. I tend to lean toward the reproduction interpretation, but I am open to hear other thoughts.

I would like to explore this topic because when polygyny is discussed a go to accusation is, "You just want to have sex with multiple women." This statement, often by Christians, shows a true lack of understanding of the scope of Biblical Marriage. On the other hand, men do tend to want to have sex with multiple women, by God's design, and this desire can lead to an unfit man only thinking about that aspect of plural marriages. So I think it would be helpful to have a comprehensive exploration of what the Godly purpose of marriage is in order to properly frame why a man should desire one or more wives and why a wife should desire to have a husband.
You list Christ and the Church, but I'd like to challenge you to expand that to God and mankind, and possibly make it your principle reason from which all others stem. I'll explain.

When God created mankind, He created them male and female, but not at first. First He created Adam, an image of Himself. He called what He made good, not incomplete. Some time later, He said that it was not good, and to fix it He created the female, the image of mankind. Now, we know that God is all-knowing and doesn't make mistakes. Anytime He appears to change His mind, there is something more at play, which we have to ask the question, "why", in order to understand.

I believe God was painting a picture for us to understand Him. He created in earth the image of Himself, caused a demonstration of the futility of existence without purpose, and then created the image of mankind to provide the image of God with purpose, fulfillment, and balance. I don't have it all fleshed out, but that's the foundation I've scratched together. I believe when God said, "It is not good for man to be alone," what He was saying, in effect, was, "It was not good for Me to be alone," therefore He created mankind. From there what follows is the marriage, which is an image of the union of God and mankind with all its facets, including the inherent imbalance of strength as well as equality of value and, from the male to the female, the covering, the provision, the discipline, the transformation to be pleasing to him, etc. and, from the female to the male, the need for his existence, the challenge, the beauty, the passion, the reproduction, etc..

I believe that understanding that image is a powerful tool for understanding our purpose and value to God, which would lead us to understand His love, value ourselves from His perspective, respect Him, and love Him. I believe it that an intense desire to be one with Him will follow from an understanding of why He created us. I believe it aids in, not only craving salvation, but understanding what it is and why He did it. I think that, if you destroy that image in marriage, or reduce it to one of the lesser reasons, you lose that message and the power of it.

Hope this helps many.
 
I believe that understanding that image is a powerful tool for understanding our purpose and value to God, which would lead us to understand His love, value ourselves from His perspective, respect Him, and love Him. I believe it that an intense desire to be one with Him will follow from an understanding of why He created us. I believe it aids in, not only craving salvation, but understanding what it is and why He did it.
I am enjoying that perspective.
It makes sense, man was truly in His image in need of a helpmeet.
 
This is mistake. You are accepting moral system of your critics which forces you into claiming that your moral system better fullfils goals of your critics than your critics moral system. You can't win this battle.

Libertarians do same mistake arguing that free market is less discrimatory or conservatives claiming that leftists are real racists. So far, there was no mass conversion of leftists. Why? Because they don't care about which method is better. They want power, rest is excuse. This argumentation didn't work before, why it should now?

It is in critics interest that sex with multiple woman is evil. It justifies their position and makes gigantic hole in our positions. We can't argue that polygamy is morally good while accepting that multiple woman sex is evil. This is contradiction. Critics don't care how protecting, etc... is better in polygyny than monogamy.

Think a little. Men can do together almost anything. Bulding house, sport, war none of this requires women. It may even be better without women's participation. Men only need woman for three things: children, morally correct sex and dom*.

Yes, I understand that marriage requires more than sex. But without sex, you don't have wife but roommate. Why marry to keep each other roommates? Without multiple woman sex there is no polygyny, but one wife with maids. Who would marry multiple women to keep them chaste?

In my opinion only one thing will work: winning moral victory against critics. Yes, boinking multiple wives is morally correct. Doing them at the same time is even better. Yes, succesful men do have right to multiple wives as reward for their success. Yes, number of wives is good measure of man's status. Yes, having more children is even better. Yes, more love in family is fantastic.

Don't accept battlefield chosen or shaped by competition.

*Dom is slavic word. I believe there is no equivalent English word. It means atmosfere in home provided by this wife:

EDIT: Grammar
 
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