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What is Adultery
- Thread starter FunGirl
- Start date
J
jack
Guest
Fungirl, You are right about men not being free to do as they wish, when it involves women. I have studied this issue for a lot of years. A man has a great responsability to His wives and offspring. If a man is to live according to the scriptures, He can have as many wives as He can support. By the scriptures, if a man lays with a woman, she's his wife, wheather they admit it or not. The problem that most men, and women fall into, today, is that neither of them knows the rules set down by the creater. As far as I can find in the scriptures there's only one way to commit adultry between a man and a woman, that is for a man to lay with another man's wife. That is where the forbiden,"mixing of seed" comes into the picture. Today, most women have been divorced at least once, which is no problem, unless Her husband failed to give her a proper bill of divorcement in her hand, if she lays with another man he's now her husband, and will need another bill of divoecement, before she could get married to someone else. If a man takes this woman who is not properly divorced, He and She have now committed adultry. I have found that a high persentage of women are not elgible to be a wife, due to their lack of knowledge of the scroptures. A lot of people I know, have fell into this trap. I even fell into this trap, but that was before I knew the truth. I can only say to both, men and women, don't get married to anybody, until YOU are properly free to do so, "by God's Word. Get His Blessings, Not His Cursings.
EJ.
EJ.
TECHNICALLY ... If da man steps out, sees da hot babe, tips her over, and gets united (sleeping has very little to do with it -- I've slept with whole congregations full of women AT ONCE! Really boring sermons, ya know! :lol: ) ...
1) He has STARTED the 3-step marriage process: Betrothal, Wedding, Consummation. However, he has started it at the wrong end, and in so doing, has OBLIGATED himself to complete it, whereas if he had started at the other end, there would have been opportunity to back out.
This 3-step process appears to be nearly identical to the modern process of purchasing real estate: Offer, Closing, and Occupancy. What the Bible says is that if you start the process by moving into the "for sale" property, you are obligated to perform the other two steps, paying Fair Market Value (established in Scripture). Interestingly enough, there is opportunity for the other party (the woman's / seller's) to back out, but not the buyer's (the man.) He's responsible!
2) The Bible NOWHERE says that his existing wives must be ok with this. They may well throw a hissy fit. They DO have to accept the fact that he HAS DONE this. It is done. It is unchosen reality that must be dealt with, as much as if he comes home and announces that he has terminal cancer or has lost his job.
However, it isn't ideal or the honorable way to begin a new marriage. More honorable than a one night stand, to be sure. But still a matter of playing catch-up with no bragging rights!
His existing wife or wives might well conclude that the Bimbo also qualifies for another name beginning with 'B'. They may refuse to share the house with her if she makes homelife a misery, such that he has to provide her with separate living quarters. None of that stuff is commanded, so far as existing wives thinking that it is ok for him to act like an alley cat in heat.
Having said that, there is a 180 degree difference between a wife saying, "You are the priest of this home. Since I submit to you as unto Jesus, I expect you to consciously attempt to act as honorably as He does. That especially includes the way you obtain and add a new wife to this family." vs saying "I don't care what the Bible says. I'm not ok with you adding another wife, and will fight it openly or subtly, tooth and toenail. It's only happening over my dead body, or I'll make you wish YOU were dead!"
In other words ... You may have to submit, ultimately. But it doesn't mandate your silence first. You still have a right to express yourself. However, a point will be reached where it is time to stop expressing angst, and start making it work, whether he follows a "most honorable" path or not. Bear in mind that if he screws up, apologizes, and does his best to make it right, God not only forgives him but forgets the wrong. The devil, on the other hand, will be throwing it in his face every chance he gets. Which side do you want to associate yourself with?
The same, of course, applies to us fellas when our wives lose it, then apologize and try to change. Got to decide which side we're going to associate ourselves with... In fact, it's best to do that BEFORE allowing Testosterone Poisoning to send us indiscriminately rooting through the ruffles!
1) He has STARTED the 3-step marriage process: Betrothal, Wedding, Consummation. However, he has started it at the wrong end, and in so doing, has OBLIGATED himself to complete it, whereas if he had started at the other end, there would have been opportunity to back out.
This 3-step process appears to be nearly identical to the modern process of purchasing real estate: Offer, Closing, and Occupancy. What the Bible says is that if you start the process by moving into the "for sale" property, you are obligated to perform the other two steps, paying Fair Market Value (established in Scripture). Interestingly enough, there is opportunity for the other party (the woman's / seller's) to back out, but not the buyer's (the man.) He's responsible!
2) The Bible NOWHERE says that his existing wives must be ok with this. They may well throw a hissy fit. They DO have to accept the fact that he HAS DONE this. It is done. It is unchosen reality that must be dealt with, as much as if he comes home and announces that he has terminal cancer or has lost his job.
However, it isn't ideal or the honorable way to begin a new marriage. More honorable than a one night stand, to be sure. But still a matter of playing catch-up with no bragging rights!
His existing wife or wives might well conclude that the Bimbo also qualifies for another name beginning with 'B'. They may refuse to share the house with her if she makes homelife a misery, such that he has to provide her with separate living quarters. None of that stuff is commanded, so far as existing wives thinking that it is ok for him to act like an alley cat in heat.
Having said that, there is a 180 degree difference between a wife saying, "You are the priest of this home. Since I submit to you as unto Jesus, I expect you to consciously attempt to act as honorably as He does. That especially includes the way you obtain and add a new wife to this family." vs saying "I don't care what the Bible says. I'm not ok with you adding another wife, and will fight it openly or subtly, tooth and toenail. It's only happening over my dead body, or I'll make you wish YOU were dead!"
In other words ... You may have to submit, ultimately. But it doesn't mandate your silence first. You still have a right to express yourself. However, a point will be reached where it is time to stop expressing angst, and start making it work, whether he follows a "most honorable" path or not. Bear in mind that if he screws up, apologizes, and does his best to make it right, God not only forgives him but forgets the wrong. The devil, on the other hand, will be throwing it in his face every chance he gets. Which side do you want to associate yourself with?
The same, of course, applies to us fellas when our wives lose it, then apologize and try to change. Got to decide which side we're going to associate ourselves with... In fact, it's best to do that BEFORE allowing Testosterone Poisoning to send us indiscriminately rooting through the ruffles!
Cecil's post is spot-on from the man's perspective, I thought I'd chuck in a few notes from a woman's perspective too (not that I'm a woman!).
Sex with an unmarried woman certainly obligates the man to complete the transaction and marry her. But, many men won't fulfil their obligation. They'll sleep with a woman for a bit, then abandon her, never having any intention of marrying her. And they aren't going to give her a "bill of divorcement" either if she sees the light and wants it, because they don't see that they have any obligation to do so. Does that mean she's stuck being single, trying to get whatever sleazebag was the last man to sleep with her to marry her, for the rest of her life? I don't think so.
God is forgiving, and He can fix anything, if we ask Him. A woman who has had an unscriptural past may be forgiven by God and her future husband, and become the wife of a real man. How else did Rahab the prostitute get married?
So adultery is purely having sex with a married woman. Having sex with an unmarried woman obligates a man to marry her. But a woman with a past can receive forgiveness and find a great future with a Christian husband that God provides her.
Sex with an unmarried woman certainly obligates the man to complete the transaction and marry her. But, many men won't fulfil their obligation. They'll sleep with a woman for a bit, then abandon her, never having any intention of marrying her. And they aren't going to give her a "bill of divorcement" either if she sees the light and wants it, because they don't see that they have any obligation to do so. Does that mean she's stuck being single, trying to get whatever sleazebag was the last man to sleep with her to marry her, for the rest of her life? I don't think so.
God is forgiving, and He can fix anything, if we ask Him. A woman who has had an unscriptural past may be forgiven by God and her future husband, and become the wife of a real man. How else did Rahab the prostitute get married?
So adultery is purely having sex with a married woman. Having sex with an unmarried woman obligates a man to marry her. But a woman with a past can receive forgiveness and find a great future with a Christian husband that God provides her.
Putting a point on it, the man's having slept with her obligates him TO marry her. This means that they aren't married YET. And her head, her Dad or, in his absence, usually a male relative, can refuse to let the marriage go forward, in which case she's ... unmarried anyway when the stinker leaves.
PolyPride
Member
FunGirl said:
There are only two ways a man can commit biblical adultery. One way is when a married man has sexual intercourse with a married woman (not his wife but someone elses wife, of course). Otherwise, the husband can have sex with other women and it would not be adultery just as long as the other women don't have husbands. The second way a man can commit adultery is when he unjustifiably divorces his wife and marries another woman (Matthew 19). The second way has to do with a man thinking he can neglect his marriage for any petty reason and then just jump into another marriage.
I think you or others here have also brought up the fairness of a man being able to have multiple women without the consent of his first wife. Although the Bible does not require consensual marriage, period, but of course it's best to get the consent of a woman before marrying her, and I'm just talking about the first marriage. Now, for the second, third, or however many subsequent marriages, I'd think it would be even wiser to not only have the consent of the 2nd, 3rd, potential wife, but really to have the consent of ALL the women involved. So I personally would not add another wife unless BOTH my first wife and the new woman chose polygamy. I don't need the Bible to tell me how hurt some women (and probably most in a monogamy-culture) coming home and being surprised by a new wife. Not only would that first wife be emotionally hurt but jealousy, etc and that's not something I'd put any woman through.
AussieGuy30
New Member
My understanding is that adultery is having sex with a married woman whom your not married to. Fornication is having sex outside of marriage, which is basically when a guy goes to a bar meets a woman and deliberately uses her for sex and deserts her. So a married poly man cannot go and do whatever he wants and have sex with whoever he wants. If a poly guy wants to add another sexual female partner to his life he needs to marry her, and make a commitment to provide for her and any children she already has or that he may have with her.