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What? Half a husband?

sweetlissa

Member
Real Person
Female
I have talked to a lot of people and I feel like an overwhelming majority of women feel like polygamy is settling for "half a husband". I want to challenge that thinking.

T and Randy and I have talked about this over and over. We don't want to cut Randy in half. We want to be together as a family. T and I grow in our admiration, love and respect for each other every day. Each day we discover new things that we share and we turn to each other as sisters more and more. This is no easy task when she is still so far away from home. But we manage and I believe that our separation right now is making us appreciate each other and Pastor Randy more. I think in the end, after this year of separation we will all know exactly how special and important we all are to each other.

Truthfully, this is one of the most challenging relationships I have ever belonged to. It is also one of the most fulfilling. We joke about ganging up on Randy and stuff, and we do play at it, but mostly, we all just want the very best for each other. T and I look forward to going garaging together. I look forward to not having to be responsible for the house all the time. She looks forward to having someone who can step in and help out when necessary. We look forward to adventures together. We look forward to helping other families together as a family.

T tells me that it is easier for the second wife because she goes into the relationship knowing that there will be sharing. The first wife was usually married to her husband long before his belief in polygamy came about. So it is usually a shock for the first wife, followed by a period of adjustment. There is a lot of truth to that. But there are other times when it is harder on the second wife. For instance, the original couple have years, sometimes decades of life together. They not only have shared memories, but they have learned each other inside out. It is so easy for the husband to assume that wife2 knows everything that wife1 knows and sometimes this leads to complications.

All this is to say that we are all human. If we are really following God then our goal should be to care about each other and put our own needs last. If we all do this, and truly care about the other people's feelings then this relationship can be more rewarding that you can imagine. A polygamous relationship can have so much more depth and interest than a normal monogamous relationship. Of course, we also need to know when to stop being a door mat and when to stand up for ourselves, but Christ came to this earth to serve us and we should do no less.

Sweet Lissa
 
This has been one of our biggest challanges on finding a sister/wife. My wife and I have talked about this subject alot and let me say one thing ladies....you will be truly blessed to get to meet my wife. She will be a big blessing for any of you and for this cause....she is fully behind it and I love her dearly. First, I think that women don't understand they are GAINING a sister...one who is there for them when everyone else runs. I know my wife is really looking forward to that deep fellowship of a sister. She is wanting time with her without me around and I believe that must happen as well. Second, you always have to share your spouse in any marriage (outside of sexual relations). My wife works at an assissted living facility and I cannot have her whenever I want....sometimes she is gone evenings. She has strong friendships there and does things with them. The point is...it makes her happy and fulfilled. We have talked about the ladies working different shifts. However, we are not sure thats the best solution. Bonding and loving each other and having a deep felt love is the only way this can work well. I also think its us husbands duty to make sure each woman feels loved and adored by us. Thats the point I had to get to with my wife, to have her fully trust me and know that no other woman can take away my love from her. Just as she will not be able to come between my next wife and I. Each woman will bring something special to my life. As far as the intimate part that will not be a problem here. :lol: Seriously, we have of course talked this through as well and my wife's idea is to not have a "schedule" per say, but to get to the point of caring about her sister enough that if I come in and sweep her up in my arms that she will be happy for her. Again, its the guys responsibilty to treat each woman fairly...but spontaneous love making has been a part of our lives and makes life fun. In the end its all about being able to share your feelings with everyone and focusing on what you are gaining...not losing. And the man of the house truly loving each woman equally for who they are. Now this is from a guy with one wife....those already in plural marriage tell me how much fairy tale is in our thinking...lol I just hope this makes sense to all of you...I know what I was trying to say...hope it comes across to you that way...God bless

Mr. kscouple
 
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