The Great Polygamy Puzzle

[EnchantedLife]

Why is polygamy regarded with hostility? Many of us have considered this matter.

Jack and Jill marry and move into a house in a suburban street. All other households are monogamous, and Jack and Jill fit in easily.

Jack marries Jill, Jane and Joan, and moves into a house in a suburban street. Now things are different. If the polygamous household succeeds, Jack shows up all the other husbands, and his wives show up all the other wives.

I wrote a post on social class and polygamy, and got a hostile reaction, and as an Australian, got the impression that many Americans are prickly about the idea that some people are better than others. If Jack runs a successful polygamous household, then he and his wives are better, or doing better at a marriage than monogamous households in the street, and I now think that this explains hostility towards polygamy.

I have also posted on the idea that the state recognise polygamy, but only when all those in a polygamous marriage are at least, say, 35 years of age. I now see that this scheme will fail for the same reason. The implication is that anybody can enter monogamous marriage, but polygamy is an elite arrangement, only for those with maturity. It is of course, but people do not like to be reminded.

 

[CecilW]

...anybody can enter monogamous marriage, but polygamy is an elite arrangement, only for those with maturity. It is of course, but people do not like to be reminded.

I think that this has been discussed at length. Everyone has an opinion. You are welcome to yours. Feel free to let us know how this one works for you.

I don't think you will ever find Americans agreeing that AGE is the determining factor. We're far more impressed with performance.

But that is MY opinion.

 

[Isabella]

I am not American and I thought your argument was....flawed also.

Nor do I think a successful Poly relationship shows anyone in particular up...except those who feel Polygamous relationships never work.

I am sorry I really do not get what you are trying to do, it makes little sense to me.

B

 

[eternitee]

People are hostile towards polygamy because they do not understand it. They have pre-conceived ideas. They assume no woman in her right mind would ever voluntarliy agree to such an arrangement. Yet they cannot see the hypocrisy of living in a society where men cheat on their wives and "oh well - what can you do" *shrug*

They assume the woman has no choices, is uneducated, has a low sense of self- esteem and the man has no self-control or normal social boundaries.

I could go on - society has filled our heads with all the reasons it is NOT ok.

The Browns are not perfect but at least they put a "normal" face on this lifestyle and they and others like them are gradually opening the doors towards acceptance.

 

[FollowingHim]

Polygyny probably requires more wisdom than monogamy, as monogamy requires more than being single. But that's got nothing to do with being better than anybody else. The scriptural position appears to be that polygyny is just a normal and natural state, that follows monogamy for some men but not for others. Not better, just different, and possibly harder.

Just noticed you're down our end of the world, it's good to see there are more people thinking this way down here.

 

[steve]

Not better, just different, and possibly harder.

i think that it is better for society that some choose the lifestyle.
it is better for the husbandless.
also, better for the fatherless.
i feel that if some men realized that they are still in the competition after they get married, they may treat their families better.
sharing does promote personal growth, i know that it is making me a better person and us a better family.

different? for sure

possibly harder? substitute incredibly and you will be spot-on

 

[FollowingHim]

I completely agree it would be better for society. I just don't mean better as in "I'm better than you because I've got more wives than you".

 

[Tlaloc]

I'm also not American.

I do however work with many people of higher social classes on a regular basis. I also come from a family that owned luxury hotels, construction companies, or where international officials or high ranking at major corporations...

They fail at relationships even harder and with more consistency than the average people, and that's saying something.

Upper social class very often equates to either absurdly long working hours or inheritance\dumb luck, neither of which equates to maturity. It also often comes with highly dubious ethics, a few people I know have lost their position for being decent human beings. Those that are decent are no more adept at handling a family than anyone else, some that come to mind have considerable trouble with even one child...

You got a bad reaction to your idea that polygamy is for higher social classes because its an incredulous idea...