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The Design of Marriage

DaPastor

DaPastor

Member
Real Person
Hello,

Recently, I have been challenged in my thinking about the central design of marriage. It seems that "romance" has been made the primary design of marriage. It is celebrated in movies, songs, cheap paperbacks and Christian books galore. However, it wasnt' until the end of the eleventh century that romance became a central theme of marriage. Yet, with this emphasis, why is the divorce rate higher now than ever before in history - especially in the Church? Is it possible that we have missed the central calling of marriage?

What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than make us happy?

Let's discuss this some...

Blessings
 
DaPastor,
I agree with you in that, we as Christians, have lost a great deal when it comes to marriage. We have been blasted by TV, movies, books, ect into thinking that marriage is all about what can " I " get out of it our how much " romance " will I get from it. IMHO, and I am no expert on this, marriage means much more. Marriage is the " bonding and growing " of relationships. It is the act of sharing your love for others, as Christ shares His love with us. It is the uplifting of others to become the best they can be. It is caring about others and giving of ones self so that others can have. Yes, romance is a part, but lets put it where it belongs. It is not the center or drive of a marriage. The drive is loving and caring for others within your marraige that reflects what Christ did for us and we in the churches have forgotten that a long time ago.

just my 2 cents
 
I have come to the conclusion that the issuing of marriage licenses by the state is merely a revenue generator. It isn't like you have to pass a test to get married like you do to get a driver's license. I can go get a license to marry anyone and in some states get married within just a few minutes of having it issued. Doesn't sound like God has much to say in the process.

Yes, Pastor, romance is nice, but doing God's work has to have the highest priority. Don't get me wrong, I love romance like any redblooded woman, but when that wears off, where will we be if we aren't serving the Lord. Our heavenly Father provides for romance, but he wants our attention for his purposes. ;)


Lissa
 
I see the marriage license as a control issue - it used to be you didn't need anybody's permission to get marriage (maybe your parents, which makes sense, when you live at home, and are "covered" by your father). Then the Roman Church want control over marriage (and thus inheritances) and started giving permission to marriage. Not to be outdone, centuries later the State started issuing licenses, to take control.

And don't forget the root of "Romance" - it's all those pesky Romans fault! "You be my everything, and I'll be your everything..." Sappy ancients, who, in no uncertain coincidence, also made "easy divorce" popular. The sad thing is: they is us, in no small measure.
 
Marriage license is indeed control by the state.

If polygyny is decriminalized that will be enough for me. Although I think I should be able to file tax returns with BOTH wives, I am more concerned with the legalized descrimination that exists with outdated discriminatory laws where plural marriage is prosecuted.

If gays can live in sin and it is condoned by the state, then why not a morally correct marriage.

Since the state abandoned God, I suppose it would be too much to expect them to make the 'moral' choice.

Charles
 
Hi
I know when I had only one wife that at times I took her for granted. now that I have a second I am more aware of there needs. not because they make me but I have learned that loving your wife as Christ loves the church is not a request but a command. and is truly part of our calling. and we should never take them for granted, they are a gift that God has given us to care for, teach, etc. I am going on sorry for the preaching.
 
:D Pastor,
Thanks for the insight. My husband is DaPastor and I am certain that he will love talking to you. We have been polygynous for less than a year and we have learned a lot. The biggest lesson is that once committed there is no going back. I am second wife to him and we have all been stretched in ways that we never imagined. We are all getting ready to move out of the state we live in and he leaves tomorrow. He has to report for his new job on Tuesday. I will follow within the month and his first wife Theresa will come after the school year is up. So when he gets "home" and can put his computer on line I am certain he will be talking to everyone. Welcome aboard. Can you tell us about your religious background? We are diverse but all bible believers.

Again, welcome to the board. Introduce your wives and lets all be friends. :D

Lissa
 
sweet lisa
read you were moving. When he gets situtated would love to hear from him. Back ground really don't like telling people what my back ground is then we catorize people. But here it goes got most of my teaching from the AG but left about 10 years because I begain to study and didn't agree with some of the things that stand so strong on. spent so time in the southern baptist. Got ordained in a nondenomational group. Gave up my creditals7 years ago when I moved to maine. now I am mutt (little bit of every thing)ha,ha or you could say I am an ambassador for Christ. I will let my wives know so they can talk with you.
pastor
 
Chaplain said:
DaPastor,
I agree with you in that, we as Christians, have lost a great deal when it comes to marriage. We have been blasted by TV, movies, books, ect into thinking that marriage is all about what can " I " get out of it our how much " romance " will I get from it. IMHO, and I am no expert on this, marriage means much more. Marriage is the " bonding and growing " of relationships. It is the act of sharing your love for others, as Christ shares His love with us. It is the uplifting of others to become the best they can be. It is caring about others and giving of ones self so that others can have. Yes, romance is a part, but lets put it where it belongs. It is not the center or drive of a marriage. The drive is loving and caring for others within your marraige that reflects what Christ did for us and we in the churches have forgotten that a long time ago.

just my 2 cents
Click to expand...
 
I would like offer a humble opinion on this issue.

You have hit the nail on the head as we say in Australia ... thats right ........... G'day!

The problem with devorce and separation is everyone is trying to suck something out of marrage, it's like 2 or 3 or 4 empty cups bumping against each other trying to find forfillment

The amazing thing about happyness is that when a person see's it as a bi product not a goal to obtain at all costs.... their lifes become plesent, rich and full

In Gods Kingdom, the law of happyness is ..... first I must give "it" away in order to keep "it" conversly if I try to keep "it" I can never find "it"

Shaun
Jesus said "the first is to Love God the Father"
 
Welcome Shaun! - I'm loving the "same page" we are on in this thread (We're going to have to find something to disagree about to keep it interesting I guess!). I'm waiting for the first dissenter to show up and insist: "Oh, come on guys - it's all about collecting wives, to serve you, and you know it - that's what makes you happy!" I'm hoping that more of us will be in the position to reply: "Come to my home, and see for yourself." Surely putting God first, and your families needs before your own, is where true happiness lies.
 
Hi all,

Let me throw out some of my ideas about the design and purpose of marriage.You are very correct when you say marriage shouldn't be just about romance. Marriage should be about the same thing every aspect of our Christian lives should be about. A question I often ask people in Bible classes is, "When we became a child of God (whenever your faith system says that happens), why didn't God just take us home to live with Him right then? Why did He leave us here in these deteriorating bodies in this dying world?"

Here are some things I've found to be true:
-- God is Spirit (John 4:24 and 2 Cor. 3:17).
-- We are flesh. (Heb. 9:27)
-- Eternal life IS "...knowing the only true God and Jesus Christ who He sent." (John 17:3).
-- People are just dying (literally) to KNOW God and to have eternal life.
-- Because God is Spirit and we are flesh, we can't physically see God. To most of the people in the world, if they can't see God they can't put their faith in Him.
--Therefore, God leaves His children in this physical realm after they are "born into" His family to reflect Him to the physical world around them. Think of it this way--human beings can't see God but they want to "see" and to "know" God in order to know they will live forever. God left us here to reflect Him (much like a human child "reflects" the image of his earthly father).
-- Our purpose, as Christians, in this physical world then is to be mirrors for the lost people around us--to reflect the image of God in all we say and do. Some Christians don't do this very well becasue they allow the "dirt" of unrepented sin to cloud their "mirrors". Christians must strive in everything they do and say to "keep their mirrors clean and bright" so as to more perfectly reflect our God to others.
-- A sad truth is that those who reject God still look at and judge Christians. People have an "idea" of how a Christian should live. When they see a person who claims to be a Christian saying or doing something they think a Christian shouldn't say or do they all-too-quickly judge and mock the Christian. This is all the more reason for Christians to work very hard every day to let God be God in their lives so when others judge their actions they really aren't judging the person but God Himself.

Now, how does all of this fit into the issue of the design of marriage? I truly believe that God gives us EVERYTHING in this physical world to help prepare us to understand EVERYTHING in the spirit realm (the topic for a book I'm writing). Marriage is the most intimate relationship we can have in this physical realm. Therefore marriage, and everything involved in the marriage relationship, is given to us by God to help us understand the spirit realm--to understand God and our relationship with Him both now and throughout eternity. Think of words like: love, commitment, covenant, intimacy, sacrifice, birth, life, etc., and you'll begin to understand what I'm talking about. All of these physical things in earthly marriages help prepare us to know God and Jesus Christ who He sent so we can have eternal life with Him and so we can more perfectly reflect our God to the lost and dying world around us.

If polygyny was once within the will of God, it will always be within the will of God (Mal. 3:6). Many others have written about the truths of that statement so I won't elaborate on it now. God didn't command men to have more than one wife at a time but He certainly approved of it in many cases. Why????? A man of God with just one wife and a man of God with more than one wife can reflect the image of an eternal relationship with God by loving his wife or wives as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:22 ff). Just as Christ loves the church (one body made up of many people), so a man can love his body (himself and his wife or wives) (Rom. 12:5). It truly isn't about romance or building a harem or getting as much sex as you want. Marriage--true Christian marriage--is about reflecting God and Jesus Christ His only Son to the world around us so more might come to an eternal relationship with God.

Just some thoughts!

In His service and yours,David (in Bulgaria)
 
Blessings to you.

So, from your perspective, how does one determine if "God joined them together"?
 
sweetlissa said:
I have come to the conclusion that the issuing of marriage licenses by the state is merely a revenue generator. It isn't like you have to pass a test to get married like you do to get a driver's license. I can go get a license to marry anyone and in some states get married within just a few minutes of having it issued. Doesn't sound like God has much to say in the process.

Yes, Pastor, romance is nice, but doing God's work has to have the highest priority. Don't get me wrong, I love romance like any redblooded woman, but when that wears off, where will we be if we aren't serving the Lord. Our heavenly Father provides for romance, but he wants our attention for his purposes. ;)


Lissa
Click to expand...

Hi!

I think that revenue generation is certainly one of the reasons for the marriage license.

I know you love romance...lol ...but you certainly have spoken correctly that we need to set our marriage on a sure foundation - Christ and His Word!
 
Nathan7 said:
I see the marriage license as a control issue - it used to be you didn't need anybody's permission to get marriage (maybe your parents, which makes sense, when you live at home, and are "covered" by your father). Then the Roman Church want control over marriage (and thus inheritances) and started giving permission to marriage. Not to be outdone, centuries later the State started issuing licenses, to take control.

And don't forget the root of "Romance" - it's all those pesky Romans fault! "You be my everything, and I'll be your everything..." Sappy ancients, who, in no uncertain coincidence, also made "easy divorce" popular. The sad thing is: they is us, in no small measure.
Click to expand...

Hello Brother Nathan,

Boy, there is not doubt there is a control issue. Would you say that the State desires control over inheritances today? It seems to me that there are a myriad of reasons for marriage license control today. I am not so certain that all the reasons are negative. That is not to say I agree. I am merely pointing out that our society is so unfaithful in general that if there is not at least some kind of guidelines, many people will get trampled by the lack of covenantal relationships. What are your thoughts?
 
charlesh said:
Marriage license is indeed control by the state.

If polygyny is decriminalized that will be enough for me. Although I think I should be able to file tax returns with BOTH wives, I am more concerned with the legalized descrimination that exists with outdated discriminatory laws where plural marriage is prosecuted.

If gays can live in sin and it is condoned by the state, then why not a morally correct marriage.

Since the state abandoned God, I suppose it would be too much to expect them to make the 'moral' choice.

Charles
Click to expand...

Hello Charlesh,

Boy, wouldn't that be a blessing! I agree! I think if polygyny is decriminalized, that would be a major advancement. It is amazing that gays are more accepted than those of us involved with a morally correct marriage. It reminds me of the Scripture:

Isa 5:20-21 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!
Click to expand...
 
pastor said:
Hi
I know when I had only one wife that at times I took her for granted. now that I have a second I am more aware of there needs. not because they make me but I have learned that loving your wife as Christ loves the church is not a request but a command. and is truly part of our calling. and we should never take them for granted, they are a gift that God has given us to care for, teach, etc. I am going on sorry for the preaching.
Click to expand...

Hello Pastor,

That is very interesting. I also took my first wife for granted when she was the only one. It is very strange. Now that I have two wives, I find that I am keenly aware of both their needs. Why do you think that was the case for you?
 
Hi all,

In a previous post I talked about the purpose of marriage (to reflect our relationship with God through Christ), and I mentioned that everyone wants to know God but can't see Him in the physical realm. I also quoted Jesus in John 17:3 when He said in His final prayer before being arrested in the garden,"Now this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."

I'd like to have a discussion about these things. How can/do our marriages (mono or poly) reflect our spiritual relationship with God through Christ. And, what did Jesus mean that eternal life is knowing God and Jesus?

In His service and yours,
Dave in Bulgaria
 
Hello all,

I would really like to contribute to this site and to exchange ideas, thoughts, and biblical understanding with other, like-minded Christians. I posted a couple of things here and hardly anyone has responded. As I read through all the topics it seems all anyone wants to talk about is the legal aspects, finding spouses, living arrangements.

Does anyone out there want to dig deeper into the Word of God with me?

In His service and yours,
David in Bulgaria
 
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