I thought I would share my journey with other wives that are or have struggled with PM. When my husband first brought up PM I was dead set against. He gave me a bunch of resources to look at and asked me to research it out. So I did just that and I found that PM was biblical. But what I had struggled with is that we are empty nesters and neither of us can have more children, so I struggled with why my husband wanted a second wife. He kept telling me YHWH had put this on his heart.
And so begins my journey. I did not stop researching and the more I dug into the subject the more convicted I became that this is what we should do. As I progressed on my acceptance and even looking forward to a future addition to our household when YHWH decides our time is right, I find that I have been on this roller-coaster ride of emotions. I am a very confident woman and very secure in my marriage (which has gotten even stronger as we continue on this path), but I found that at times I was less self-confident and jealous. I would talk all this out with my husband, he would anoint me and we prayed through it. On one of my daily prayer walks Abba revealed to me that Jim was not mine to share but belonged to Him.
Over and over again I would be attacked and would question my self-worth. I finally realized that I am not fighting an earthly battle but a spiritual battle and the closer I get to Abba’s will the more I come under these attacks.
During one of my prayer sessions Abba told me that Jim’s wanting a second wife has nothing to do with any shortcomings in me or our relationship…it was about the COVERING Jim could provide another wife. What peace I have found. I am not saying that my spiritual war will stop, but I know that it is spiritual and not flesh and blood, I am learning how to fight it through Him.
And so begins my journey. I did not stop researching and the more I dug into the subject the more convicted I became that this is what we should do. As I progressed on my acceptance and even looking forward to a future addition to our household when YHWH decides our time is right, I find that I have been on this roller-coaster ride of emotions. I am a very confident woman and very secure in my marriage (which has gotten even stronger as we continue on this path), but I found that at times I was less self-confident and jealous. I would talk all this out with my husband, he would anoint me and we prayed through it. On one of my daily prayer walks Abba revealed to me that Jim was not mine to share but belonged to Him.
Over and over again I would be attacked and would question my self-worth. I finally realized that I am not fighting an earthly battle but a spiritual battle and the closer I get to Abba’s will the more I come under these attacks.
During one of my prayer sessions Abba told me that Jim’s wanting a second wife has nothing to do with any shortcomings in me or our relationship…it was about the COVERING Jim could provide another wife. What peace I have found. I am not saying that my spiritual war will stop, but I know that it is spiritual and not flesh and blood, I am learning how to fight it through Him.
