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Some times you must run like a fool!

G

Gillfam

New Member
Today I ran into a girl I had courted a while back. I really liked her, but due too a lot of problems dealing with herself she was not ready. Well today I ran into her and she was coming on strong! I mean she could tell I still liked her, but when we married Jennie I made a choice to stop at two wives and also told Jennie and Becky the same (Cause they wanted to be wives not just a bunch of women in the house). I had explained this to this girl and she started saying that we could just have sex and no one would know. Normally I would say no but it would be hard and I would have that what if in my mind. Today I said no before I could even think about it! I mean no hesitation! In my heart I had come to accept the agreement made with my wives not too court anyone else! Too many who do not know me may think that was easy, but it normally wasn't and this is a big deal for me! Yah has finally let loose the "what if" and replaced it with the I am 100% satisfied feeling!

The girl followed me into the store still asking I just ignored her. Then she said she was going up the road to borrow money from and friend to get a room and I could decide then. As soon as she walked off I ran!!!! I ran and got out of there so she wouldn't follow me home and find out where I lived! When I got home I told my wives about what had happened and Becky was the most shocked, lol (she remembers how much I liked this girl). They were both very proud of me that I have come this far! Then they laughed and said how they wished they could have seen it,lol. Me running from a woman. But sometimes when temptation is in the way even if we look like a fool it is better to run like one as well!
 
Good for you! It must have been difficult considering you find her very attractive. Mind you, I would be very worried by her sense of either a)self esteem or b) personal stability that she would practically chase you around like that.

I imagine that was actually pretty off-putting anyway. Desperation is never attractive, there is a man I know socially who makes a point of staring at me until I notice. I cannot stand that sort of passive aggressive tactic and it is actually terribly off putting. I don't know why people can't just take some pride in themselves and know when to back off?

Bels
 
it saddens me to hear about a young lady reduced to such desperation. i cannot imagine what circumstances she has been through that have stripped her of all dignity.

when the catholics rejected poly they still had a ministry to young ladies and a place for them to go, the convents.
sadly, when the protestants broke away (even though martin luther saw poly in the Word) they came away with no replacement for the replacement that catholicism had provided.
 
Sad but true! Yes she is a beutiful woman looks wise, but she has a lot going on mentally which is why we all decided otherwise!
steve said:
it saddens me to hear about a young lady reduced to such desperation. i cannot imagine what circumstances she has been through that have stripped her of all dignity.

when the catholics rejected poly they still had a ministry to young ladies and a place for them to go, the convents.
sadly, when the protestants broke away (even though martin luther saw poly in the Word) they came away with no replacement for the replacement that catholicism had provided.
Click to expand...
 
Steve, I completely agree with you there.

Even the Greeks and Romans had somewhere for these women to go - they had temples full of prostitutes. Not a great life, completely immoral, but it was a formal structure.

The Catholics basically continued exactly the same thing, but removed the sex part. At least officially. There are plenty of stories...

It is disgusting that the Protestant reformers were so short-sighted they didn't look at the past, do a quick sum on their fingers, and either reintroduce polygamy or at least maintain the convents.
 
Holy Cow,
Someone just turned corner that I don't think should have been turned. This woman is not a prostitute she is a damaged person. If I guess right she is so insecure about herself she is willing to have a sexual encounter with no possibility of forever because she is desperate for love. This tells me that she has been badly used by one or more men in her life. I am not saying that Gill shouldn't have run but I am saying it is a long stretch to call her a prostitute. This woman is someone's daughter or sister.

Part of what we are trying to show here is that patriarchal men can have multiple wives without the typical demeaning and womanizing behaviors that are so prevalent in other polygamous cultures. How can we say that if we are calling women we have never met prostitutes. At the very least this woman deserves our prayer that God will put someone in her path who can lead her to everlasting love with our Heavenly Father.

And maybe no one actually called her a prostitute but the comparison was there.

I wish I had a way to talk to this young woman, to see if I could help her in some way. She needs an older woman to guide her and help her find her way.

SweetLissa
 
SweetLissa, sorry I think you misunderstood my post a bit there. She is a woman in a desperate situation. Most societies in the past have provided a formal structure to support these women. The Jews had polygyny. The Catholics had convents. Even the Romans had temple prostitution (which, despite the immoral aspects of it and the fact that none of us would support it, was a formal structure set up for them, a woman could no doubt turn up at the door and end up fed and clothed, and infected with syphilis...). It is only we in the Protestant countries since the Reformation who abandon them. Well, we might have some social welfare structures, but they are still forced to fend for themselves in the world, they might just get a bit of cash each week.

My point is that everyone in the past has at least thought of them. Our society tries to pretend they don't exist.
 
Temple Prostitution wasn't a situation for the desperate. It was actually a high ranking position for women of good birth, this was also the case in convents in Catholic countries in the past, they were full of young women of good birth, who either did not have a large enough dowry or were able to choose for myriad reasons.

Young women without powerful families or means went the same way as do many in poorer counties today, they sold themselves on the streets or in lowly brothels.

B
 
Tagging off of what a couple of people have said, wise choice. That said, I'm saddened that a woman would think her only value to you is sex. Sounds like she needs a solid biblically based counselor to help her see how valuable she is in God's eyes.
 
Yeah she does go from one man to another hence the personal issues. I could not find one time she has had nor has she wanted to be stable. She likes just going for the moment as to where I wanted the forever factor she said we can try it out. This is not something you just try though.
 
i was not aware of the entrance qualifications for joining a convent, they may have been applied more in some countries than others.

my point is that there seems to have always (except in an artificial case like china) been more women available for marriage than there were willing or able men. a surplus generally results in a lower perceived value and we wind up with women being viewed as somewhat "disposable" (i can always find another one) by too many of the men. when the supply of available women is reduced for any reason (poly, convents, temple prostitution, abortion of the female babies) the ones still available are viewed as having greater value. poly, of course would be my best choice for tightening up the market. it is the most natural (in my opinion) and can affect society the most in a positive manner.
 
I would also point out that the lack of poly, particularly in the absence of convents, is likely to lead society towards the harmful solutions on your list (prostitution and killing females through abortion or infanticide).
 
Well I do not think it is the lack of somewhere for these women to go. There are places (from what I have seen lots!) Just many do not wish to conform to the rules! Women are taught now a days that submission is a bad thing. So many are wanting independence. Thus the start of all this proud single parent crap. I have had many women ask me just to help them make a baby cause I make pretty and healthy babies, but no commitment. To me it sounds crazy but I am finding out it is becoming the norm. The same thing with PM most women back in the day when they decided to go poly it was because they wanted a real family, real relationship, real marriage. Now it seems a lot just want to try it out and if they don't like poly or the family then hey "no harm no foul we can just end it". No commitment what so ever! I see it with poly families as well. They are like "well yeah we married her, but she wasn't what we liked so we ended it a month later". Too me all these poly shows have been a blessing and a curse. The blessing is as more people become aware not every PM family is mormon or marries kids and are in fact mostly well educated, we can walk on the streets with out too much problem. Most people I know think a lot of me cause I can actually take care of two women and they are actually happy and consider all of us a family. The curse though is it has opened up the flood gates of women who are just looking for something for now, but maybe not later and scammers have increased 100 fold it seems! Then you also have the families who are more like a threesome or swingers trying to live under the disguise of Polygyny. But do I wish more single women would look at polygyny as an option? Sure thing! At the same time though I do not want good folks getting hurt cause the woman admits she couldn't find anyone else so they were last on the list and finally she picked them. I want families to be secure in the fact these women married them and will remain submissive as a wife and love them and be there through thick and thin.
 
Gillfam said:
I want families to be secure in the fact these women married them and will remain submissive as a wife and love them and be there through thick and thin.
Click to expand...

There's something to be said for marrying when you are "down on your luck" and "barely scraping by". If a woman marries you under those circumstances, seeing the value in you as a man, and in your character, she might just stick when times get plush.

Seems like a good theory anyway... :D
 
There is an interesting take on it Cecil.
While the women in the ladies forum voted unanimously in favor of the good man over the rich one, it would certainly prove someone's true heart on this issue, were she willing to start off on the poorer side of life.
 
Having lived a "worldly" life before, and living outside of a town where the running joke is "you don't lose your wife, you lose your turn" I have to say the people here have made a large assumption about this lady's self esteem. While I don't agree with using sex as a way to get a man (or woman), who is to say that she was not just using that to get what she wanted. Within God's framework is an admission (especially for men) that our sex drive can lead us to sin and so we should marry to help us avoid that. She put the cart before the horse, but last time I checked "crack" dealers would spot yo9u your first rock to get you hooked. Just sayin' :o
 
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