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So. .... what would be considered cheating for the female?

sparky256

sparky256

New Member
Male
I hope this comes across in proper context, but here goes. Where is the line drawn for women, as to adultery or cheating? Does physical intimacy need to be engaged in, or would some consider a heavy make out session as adultery?
 
If this is an academic question, then it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks the answer is (though it might be ten pages of posts before we get tired of talking about it). If you're asking because of a situation you are actually in and you care about your relationship, then what happens next is going to have a lot more variables than just where to draw the bright line on what is or isn't adultery, and I suggest you PM me or Nathan or one of the moderators for more information and help.

Meanwhile, my personal take on the academic question is that the word adultery is best reserved for actual sex, and then we can use other words to describe people who look like they might have been headed in that direction but just haven't gotten there yet.
 
andrew said:
...though it might be ten pages of posts before we get tired of talking about it.
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Challenge accepted. :) I kid, i kid.

I would agree. Adultery is pretty cut and dry as to mean sexual intecourse with another man. Sucking face, or other intimacy short of that, may not be Adultery per se, but can fall under a couple other headings. The whole not-adultery thing then starts to degrade to "how close can one get to the line before they cross?" Why be near the line at all?

I would say, using your terms, non-sex may not be adultery but would classify as "cheating". Adultery being a subset of, a type of, Cheating. Some consider counting cards in blackjack as cheating even though you didn't actually break the rules.
 
This is a pretty difficult subject. Andrew and NetwatchR are right in my opinion that adultery should be kept to its strict Biblical definition. On top of that I'm not fond of the word cheating either. It either trivializes something deadly serious or creates a false victim.

The short answer is that I don't have a biblical answer but I am a jealous husband and anything that might take my wife's focus from me would be a violation as far as I am concerned.
 
Wouldn't Matthew 5:28 cover this question for you sparky256?

Depending on what version of the bible you read, that particular sub-section of the sermon on the mount is usually titled
Lust or Adultery...

Seems like God (and my husband for that matter) agrees with my brother above as He is a jealous husband too :-)
Thanks for standing for Him,
God Bless You always as you serve Him
 
While sex can be a rather defining part of marriage, leadership is very much an important part.

When a woman gives her allegiance to a man other than her husband, and lets him lead her, I believe that emotional adultery kicked in.
Remember that the nation of Israel was accused of adultery.
Jeremiah 3:8 (KJV)
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
 
steve said:
When a woman gives her allegiance to a man other than her husband, and lets him lead her, I believe that emotional adultery kicked in.
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Before He clearly told us to be careful what we think (Matthew 5:28),
He first told us to be careful where our heart is, and what we are looking for in life (Matthew 5:8)

Good point brother... you are warning us the same way Christ warned us in the sermon on the mount!
 
steve said:
While sex can be a rather defining part of marriage, leadership is very much an important part.

When a woman gives her allegiance to a man other than her husband, and lets him lead her, I believe that emotional adultery kicked in.
Remember that the nation of Israel was accused of adultery.
Jeremiah 3:8 (KJV)
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
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Fireworks emoji! I just don't actually know how to do emojis.
 
There's also such a thing as an emotional affair. Basically us women need to guard our hearts bodies and minds. You are your husbands! Be fully his.
 
Also:rolleyes: to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not It. Is. SIN! If an action of ours goes against a vow we have made to our husband (to love, honor reverence and obey) it is sin. How would a purposeful action that goes against a vow we made be acceptable? There are transgressions that don't fit well in a category such as an affair, deceit, or cheating, but it's sin, it's sin no matter the label we think we can justify it by. It's sin no matter the wrong we may have had against us. It's another bite of a forbidden fruit that is tempting and yummy, but ultimately devistating to our relationship with our God and our Man - whom we vowed a vow to.
 
As Andrew has shared, this subject could be a lengthy discussion, but it can be shortened from 10 pages of discussion if we begin at the root of the word adultery. I have had discussions with theological professors to laymen and there is a plethora of views and opinions. To keep my post short, one needs to begin at the original (Hebrew or Greek) definition of the word adultery. I am not talking a newer Hebrew/Greek Lexicon, but one that is at least 60 years old. Again brevity, in an older Hebrew Greek dictionary and an older Strong's adultery is defined as "only sex with another man's wife." A newer of the same changes it slightly. In my opinion, I believe it is an attempt to bring in an emphasis on monogamy, but the meaning is the same. The newer definition is "a woman breaking wedlock." IMHO, once we know the true meaning of adultery then Matthew 5 and the many other Scriptures on adultery become clearer. Finally, great discussion. I Love it!
 
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Well loved wife said:
Also:rolleyes: to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not It. Is. SIN! If an action of ours goes against a vow we have made to our husband (to love, honor reverence and obey) it is sin. How would a purposeful action that goes against a vow we made be acceptable? There are transgressions that don't fit well in a category such as an affair, deceit, or cheating, but it's sin, it's sin no matter the label we think we can justify it by. It's sin no matter the wrong we may have had against us. It's another bite of a forbidden fruit that is tempting and yummy, but ultimately devistating to our relationship with our God and our Man - whom we vowed a vow to.
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Your choice of Lord is evident, Sister, and your Proverbs 31:26 stand against sin is a credit to your lord as well.
My family and I stand behind you 100% on this! Bravo! :)
(Thank you Mr. Gerhart for your wisdom as well... Great discussion!)
 
We can all go further with this and also deeper, which hope is the case. These discussions on truth are helpful to all and motivates the mind, body, and spirit to go seek His guidance through studying the Word (and fellowship). These type of discussions gives growth potential for all. If we look at "realer" adultery it is the spiritual adultery. Before we have an action there first must be the thought of the thing. Before Eve or David did the act there had to be the thought first. Just like Jeremiah 3, first Israel had to think it. A word as simple as intercourse, is on this same line. Many think of the physical act of sex, but the etymological definition is not so. The original definition is simply conversation. See? Adultery starts with a wrong conversation. As Believers, we listen to one Voice; but a husband and wife types this same relationship (Eph. 5). She has one voice. Israel had listened to other voices (Jeremiah 3). That is how God called them adulterous.
 
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Curtis Gerhart said:
Adultery starts with a wrong conversation. As Believers, we listen to one Voice; but a husband and wife types this same relationship (Eph. 5). She has one voice. Israel had listened to other voices (Jeremiah 3). That is how God called them adulterous.
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Our family couldn't agree with you more as we (with you) share this one hallmark quest for true purity of spirit!
A man of God is known by his humble, selfless fruit... Thank you brother (and sister) for your much needed stand.
One spirit and one purpose... Notforevil has found more family :)
 
notforevil said:
Our family couldn't agree with you more as we (with you) share this one hallmark quest for true purity of spirit!
A man of God is known by his humble, selfless fruit... Thank you brother (and sister) for your much needed stand.
One spirit and one purpose... Notforevil has found more family :)
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Oops! Posted reply without typing. Old timers disease. Amen! Yes, notforevil, We are not merely trying to make believers, but trying to find Family too. With family the same Blood runs through their Veins. This may be a little off the theme for this forum's subject, but still applicable IMO. I am constantly encouraging my children to look up the original definitions of words. Like passion, enthusiasm, husband, mystery, etc. One would be surprised at etymological meanings. That's why I have 3 of each of old Stong's, H/G lexicons, etymology dict., and one Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary (reprint). The Webster's is great for studying. For example, I was "pricked" by the Spurit to look up the Word prostitution. Why? I haven't a clue, but it even woke me from sleep. So I finally looked it up in a 1900 copyrighted dictionary and was reading it at work . It said, "any medium of exchange for sexual favor". I thought it would be money. Little did I know, but a non-believer was standing over my shoulder reading it too. She said, "Well that would apply to almost every marriage in America." Truth is Truth. Again, this word alone will apply to nearly everyone's post. When is it cheating, emotional affairs, sex, Matthew 5, 1Corinth. 7, 1Peter 3, etc. We can all agree that words matter. If that be true, then how much more do their their original meanings matter?
 
If I'm going to throw a stone at anyone (figuratively) I prefer to use only biblical definitions. Other definitions seem to be bursting with cultural implications and pop psychology.

Just my 2¢
 
Mojo said:
If I'm going to throw a stone at anyone (figuratively) I prefer to use only biblical definitions.
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Without the scriptures to keep us in check, Our "Faith without deeds is useless" (James 2:20)...

That is why we don't counsel someone without scripture reference ""in our heart and ready on our lips"", to keep us (our own desire) in check (James 1:14)...

And that is why Christ Himself made sure we always went back to the scriptures (John 8:7) so we honor God alone...

Again, noted point! When our lives are kept in submission (in check) "to His Word" (Philippians 2:12), we are equipped to humbly minister!

(Does anyone see a reason to cast the first stone now???)

What is the point???



The point to ministering to our brother here is for him to have all the tools to stay faithful... Putting the known scriptures to work in our lives, as shown in our words and heart (for God) combined, gives us a chance to address people where they are at, and point them to where they should be...

How will someone new know who my Lord is? “When they see the Godly point between the lines!”

Just because the scriptures are so clear to us, they can be lost in translation to inherited blindness that the Light has not yet shined into...

When common language given is first believed (by the new brother in need), then and only than can the scriptures be seen as something to be learned more from (blindness removed by our common walk and common reach outwardly "For His Glory")

For anyone who doubts that this is how the blind world will begin to see better, and needs God's conformation on this, Matthew 7:16...


"We can all agree that words matter" and intent shows where we are pointed...


I see everyone's intent and just Hope that we can help our brother here..
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Sparky256, did Matthew 5:28 cover this question for you?
God's words warns us, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." **(Inversely, wouldn't this seem to apply?)**

Please let us know how we can help you Brother...
 
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