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Singles Issues Section - Topics?
- Thread starter Doc
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I will seem an odd source for the advice about where to find a good woman but i would think churches and church social events
With respect to more than one woman, my advice would be to find a good woman who has the makings of a good first wife first.
Walk before attempting to run
Good luck
Where I live, walking from the public market to the central city with a bouquet of roses will usually get me a couple of offers of marriage. If I take a few single flowers with me to give out along the way.... well, some of the offers would get your accounted deleted from dating platforms. The problem isn't finding women, it's finding godly women who will be an asset to your household. Generally speaking, I don't think there is a problem in finding women and my experience here proves that, but most would end up being a liability.
Proverbs 19:14, Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Seems issue is desire for "finished woman", instead of "upgradeable woman".
Well, people can become better through time.
People can and do become better over time, as my wives demonstrably prove. From a biblical standpoint, both the man and the women are to be growing in sanctification daily. However, starting with those who are already becoming better, i.e. growing in sanctification, is much more likely to succeed than starting with those showing no improving taking place. I think it would be foolish for a Christian man to venture into marriage with a woman who actively resisted growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ.
For me personally, I want to have the greater likelihood of success in marriage while reducing the likelihood of failure. But that's just me. Some might like the challenge of trying to prevent a probable disaster from occurring, but it's their choice.
It’s like fishing, ya gotta clean ’em after ya catch ’em.
Seriously, if you’ve gained any spiritual depth at all, (simply accepting Yah’s views on marriage puts you way down the road from 99% of churchians) you are not going to find an of-the-shelf church lady that will match your beliefs. You will need to lead her into further truth. But then, we are to be the priests of our homes and doing that anyway. Those who depend on the church and the pastor to provide for the spiritual needs of their homes are sadly missing the boat.
From my perspective, it's enough if she stays long enough time. All women will eventually desire marriage and children from man they are sleeping.
Even if you start at her acceptable option Z, if she stays with you, her path to reproduction is simple: have children with you.
In meantime problems are you losing masculinity, she getting infested with feminism, breaking apart due to value differences.
EDIT: Corrected word to feminism
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It matters where you choose to go fishing. If you go fishing in a septic tank you are only going to pull one thing out of it. Just like you don't go looking for street walkers to be your wife.
Proverbs 31:
10 Who does find a capable wife? For she is worth far more than rubies.
And
26 She shall open her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the Torah of loving-commitment.
And
30 Loveliness is deceptive And prettiness is vain, A woman who fears יהוה is to be praised.
That is why I said that I wanted a woman who fears the most high. Value usually comes from rarity. Rubies are rare. There fore a woman who actually fears יהוה is even more rare. She also has to want to be my wife so a lot of things have to line up for that to work.
I try not to get discouraged.
Very sound advice and I would encourage men seeking wives to consider this.
Finding women is not a problem. Finding truly godly women is. While you’re free to take on any woman you want, I would encourage you to wait for a godly one, rather than just make commitments to anyone.
Salvation is for sinners.
But you are right, most people wouldn’t fish for souls in a cesspool, and if a bottom-dweller did accidentally find salvation they would be reject-able because of who they had been.
17And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.
It's not that we're fishing for souls, but we're primarily looking for potential spouses. However, we may be blessed with the awesome privilege of presenting the gospel and a sinner being saved in the process - and that's where one of my wives came from. There's a real benefit in that because you then have the opportunity to lay a solid foundation in the truth of Holy Scripture through discipleship.
How sadly true that is, and I am as guilty as any.
Hah! Amen to that!
"ya gotta clean 'em after ya catch 'em" - NOW THAT IS FUNNY. And probably more successful than finding one already clean
I think we’re making changes on that front Patricia. Let the moderators know if there’s something we can do to make it even better.