That's me.
A single plural guy.
I have come to terms with the reality of my status. I am a unique individual within the greater Biblical Families community.
The overwhelming majority of regular members on BF (not those just visiting or lurking) fall into the following groups, and I think that I am correct in saying these are in descending order by size:
1. Plural-minded monogamous couples dealing with the concept, and/or seeking to add to their family. GROUP 1
2. Plural families dealing with the issues of living plural, plus considering additions. GROUP 2
3. Single women looking to be a part of an established family. GROUP 3
4. Single men seeking to build a family. GROUP 4
I recently came across a video called "Sons Of Perdition". It is a documentary that sheds light on the practice of 'lost boys'. "Lost boys" are young men who have been excommunicated or pressured to leave polygynous groups such as the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS). They are allegedly pressured to leave by adult men to reduce competition for wives within such sects, usually when they are between the ages of 13 and 21.
Nature dictates the number of boys and girls born are roughly equal. Using simple mathematics, it is clear that without an influx of females from outside the community, the practice of one-husband/multiple-wives polygamy leads to unavoidable shortages of marriageable females and a surplus of marriageable males. In particular, FLDS men are each expected to marry at least three wives.
While some boys leave by their own choice, many are ostensibly banished for conduct such as watching a movie, watching television, playing football, or talking to a girl. Some boys are told not to return unless they can return with a wife. One estimate is that between 400 and 1,000 boys have been pressured to leave for such reasons.
Boys in these sects are commonly raised not to trust the outside world, and may be taught that leaving their communities is a sin worse than murder. These boys are usually left with little education or life skills and must learn to live in a world about which they know little, while dealing with the consequences of being shunned by their families, and believing they are beyond spiritual redemption. The families of banished boys are told that the boys are now dead to them. Some individuals work to help young men who have left or who have been ejected from polygamist organizations in cities like Hildale, Utah, or Colorado City, Arizona.
I bring all that up because though I realize that we are not FLDS, there is a definite parallel to the overall social dynamic of the BF community.
Actually, for the single plural guy in BF, he has a some unique "supply and demand" issues to overcome. In terms of 'demand', I see the following:
1. There is a great demand for GROUP 3 by GROUPS 1, 2 and 4
2. There is a 'somewhat' demand for GROUPS 1 and 2 by GROUP 3 only.
3. There is little or no demand for GROUP 4 by GROUP 3 only.
These same dynamics apply to the Lost Boy concept within the FLDS community. There are a limited supply of marriageable females. There is a great demand by established families to add those females in preference to available males. In order to eliminate competition for those marriageable females, those younger males are 'shunned', forced to find life outside the community. Acceptance back within the community is only achieved by the
'lost boys' acquiring females. These are considered 'successful'.
I say all of this to point out the unique demands on the single plural guy within a plural community. In essence, this 'lost boy' will have to find acceptance from outside the community, because the competition within the community is too great.
Don't worry, folks, I am not leaving Biblical Families.....
I do think, however, that analyzing this situation has given a a greater insight as to where I should direct my attention as far as dating is concerned. It will have to be outside of the BF community.
Any thoughts or comments on this topic would be sincerely appreciated.
Blessings,
Doc
A single plural guy.
I have come to terms with the reality of my status. I am a unique individual within the greater Biblical Families community.
The overwhelming majority of regular members on BF (not those just visiting or lurking) fall into the following groups, and I think that I am correct in saying these are in descending order by size:
1. Plural-minded monogamous couples dealing with the concept, and/or seeking to add to their family. GROUP 1
2. Plural families dealing with the issues of living plural, plus considering additions. GROUP 2
3. Single women looking to be a part of an established family. GROUP 3
4. Single men seeking to build a family. GROUP 4
I recently came across a video called "Sons Of Perdition". It is a documentary that sheds light on the practice of 'lost boys'. "Lost boys" are young men who have been excommunicated or pressured to leave polygynous groups such as the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS). They are allegedly pressured to leave by adult men to reduce competition for wives within such sects, usually when they are between the ages of 13 and 21.
Nature dictates the number of boys and girls born are roughly equal. Using simple mathematics, it is clear that without an influx of females from outside the community, the practice of one-husband/multiple-wives polygamy leads to unavoidable shortages of marriageable females and a surplus of marriageable males. In particular, FLDS men are each expected to marry at least three wives.
While some boys leave by their own choice, many are ostensibly banished for conduct such as watching a movie, watching television, playing football, or talking to a girl. Some boys are told not to return unless they can return with a wife. One estimate is that between 400 and 1,000 boys have been pressured to leave for such reasons.
Boys in these sects are commonly raised not to trust the outside world, and may be taught that leaving their communities is a sin worse than murder. These boys are usually left with little education or life skills and must learn to live in a world about which they know little, while dealing with the consequences of being shunned by their families, and believing they are beyond spiritual redemption. The families of banished boys are told that the boys are now dead to them. Some individuals work to help young men who have left or who have been ejected from polygamist organizations in cities like Hildale, Utah, or Colorado City, Arizona.
I bring all that up because though I realize that we are not FLDS, there is a definite parallel to the overall social dynamic of the BF community.
Actually, for the single plural guy in BF, he has a some unique "supply and demand" issues to overcome. In terms of 'demand', I see the following:
1. There is a great demand for GROUP 3 by GROUPS 1, 2 and 4
2. There is a 'somewhat' demand for GROUPS 1 and 2 by GROUP 3 only.
3. There is little or no demand for GROUP 4 by GROUP 3 only.
These same dynamics apply to the Lost Boy concept within the FLDS community. There are a limited supply of marriageable females. There is a great demand by established families to add those females in preference to available males. In order to eliminate competition for those marriageable females, those younger males are 'shunned', forced to find life outside the community. Acceptance back within the community is only achieved by the
'lost boys' acquiring females. These are considered 'successful'.
I say all of this to point out the unique demands on the single plural guy within a plural community. In essence, this 'lost boy' will have to find acceptance from outside the community, because the competition within the community is too great.
Don't worry, folks, I am not leaving Biblical Families.....
I do think, however, that analyzing this situation has given a a greater insight as to where I should direct my attention as far as dating is concerned. It will have to be outside of the BF community.
Any thoughts or comments on this topic would be sincerely appreciated.
Blessings,
Doc
