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Prayer NEEDED

Nikismom

Nikismom

Member
Please pray that I can be strengthened by God as we have obtained a new wife. I have been sick for three weeks and our former potential and hubby have worked things out and she is now here.

I am struggling with their relationship greatly! I didn't think I would as long as I had plenty of time to prepare. unfortunately I have not had that time.
 
I am praying for you and I know that this cannot be an easy time for you.Please know that you are not alone and that there are many here who are praying for and thinking of you throughout this difficult time.
 
Prayers & {{{HUGS}}} are being sent your way !
Mega Blessings !
Fairlight
 
Hi Nikismom,
I am sorry that I didn't have more time to chat with you yesterday. I hope we will get more opportunity in the near future. I am praying for you.

SweetLissa
 
I'm praying for strength and healing for you during this difficult but blessed time.
 
I will be praying that God works everything out for good despite the speed at which the relationship has progressed. I hope and pray that God holds you in his hand and comforts and protects you during this emotionally trying time. I will also pray that your husband loves you like Christ loves the church, and treats you like he would treat his own body.
Micah and Amy
 
Hi Nikismom,
I am praying for you and your family. I cannot imagine how I would react in your situation. That's the thing about polygyny, I don't think you can truly understand it until you actually live it. You can believe in all the sugar coated niceness and then you see your husband show affection to someone other than you. To some, maybe even most - I imagine it would be like a slap in the face. That's why I don't speak much here, I don't feel I am qualified as we haven't even encountered someone to join our family yet. I do hope God works wonders on your family!
Much love,AnneMarie
 
Thank you all so very much for the prayers!

My husband is being GREAT about this whole thing and SW and he are both trying to be understanding that I am struggling. She is trying to earn my trust back as I felt rather betrayed earlier this year when she backed out of her budding relationship with DH.

Things grew rather complicated and she had not contacted us in quite sometime. Then out of the blue she asked if she could please come here and earn our trust. He and she talked and in 48 hours she was here and I am no longer alone in the house.

I love having her here as she is a great friend and help with the baby especially since I've been sick and then so was the baby. I am praying daily that God will show me how to be the wife and sw that I am supposed to be to and to nurture the damaged relationship that is beginning to heal.

She and DH are working toward a real honest relationship and I presume that they will be having a commitment ceremony sometime next year. I have requested that they take things slow and there is no intimacy between them because we don't believe in that. (Thanking God personally!)

Now that I've laid all our cards on the table I want to say that I thank God the Father each and every day that I found BF!!! The friends I've made here have helped me more than you will ever know! I pray we will get to attend a retreat next year as I KNOW it will be a tremendous blessing to our family!
 
AnnMarie,

Thank you for your prayers! I am still struggling with things each day but I thank God for my hubby.
He doesn't "defer" to me but he takes my heart into consideration and has asked me if I am uncomfortable about things. I have actually had to ask him to stop treating me like I'm an egg that will crack if jarred about too much! LOL ;)

I am praying daily for God to help me to be selfless and loving to my SW and learn to work together to provide a haven for DH.

I am trying hard everyday to listen to God's voice and pray that maybe my experience can both be a learning and a teaching one! :o) I pray for grace each day!
 
Dear Nikkismom,

I am so impressed with your attitude. It is so encouraging that there are woman out there understanding the struggles of living in a plural family and yet have a vision of how good it can and will be after the "adjustment" period is over. I love that verse that says that God's strength is shown best in our weakness. When we are working so hard at 'renewing our minds" to Bibilical truth it is at that time, the best time for God to really show himself Glorious and Faithful isn't it. I pray that for you and your family God will show himself Faithful everyday!

With hope for the future,
Julieb
 
I'm so glad to see your post. I am currently dealing with this also. I know in my heart that this lifestyle is right, but after 30 years as a couple it's so difficut to see my husband being affectionate with someone else. Some days when we spend a lot of time as a family I'm totally ok. Some days when I feel like I'm out of the loop it is so harsh for me to them together. I feel like there is now a part of him that I will never know and that really hurts me a lot.

My question is how will we ever get past this point? I want all of us to be close but she wants alone time with him and I want lots of alone time with him because that's what I'm used to. He is such a great guy, he is doing his best with both of us. For now I'm glad that she lives many hours away and only comes to visit occasionally. I need the space and time to grow to a better comfort level I guess; and I need the relationship between me and her to be a lot more developed too before I feel like we are friends.

Any advise? I'm sure ready for some!
 
Julieb---thank you so much for your prayers! They are greatly appreciated!

donnag-- My advise to you would be to continue to seek God's will and wisdom. It is an every day struggle sometimes. I am a nit picker... meaning... I tend to find tiny things to gripe about! LOL I have to work so HARD NOT to do that to my SW. She's a grown woman who is learning what our hubby likes and doesn't like. She has known me almost her entire life so she knows me quite well. I guess that makes this all a little bit easier for me because she is my best friend and I know she and my hubby would never do anything on purpose to hurt me.

Also talk to your hubby! Express your concerns and remember that living in a plural marriage requires acts of selflessness. I have had to learn that quickly!
Establish a schedule as so as possible. I know that sounds a bit regimented but I have come to the conclusion that this is only way that our PM will work is with a schedule so that each woman knows what to expect and can plan accordingly.
Take the time to spend time with your sw. There are three relationships being formed now. Yours and hers, his and hers and the three of you as a family.

I know this might sound bad but..... I try to look at it as I am giving my sw a gift... a great man! My hubby is also a very good man and provider and I see it as gifting her with a great husband... he just happens to be mine as well!

OH and the wanting to spend more time with him because that's what your used to.....take a class and learn something new...do crafts, spend more time with God....
I hope this helps... feel free to pm me...
 
wow.
i think that these glimpses of your walk-out of this lifestyle are some of the most helpfull parts of this board.
thankyou for allowing us to experience them.
 
Yeah, thanks so much. I guess it's much more of a rocky road that I thought it would be. Some days are ok and some days are very bad 'head' days. I get so depressed about the thought not being able to make the adjustments I will need to make, among other things, it takes me days to get out of the funk once it starts. I'm sure looking forward to happier times.
 
May they come, and come soon with strength.
 
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