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Motives for Marriage

DaPastor

DaPastor

Member
Real Person
I think we should discuss this quote by Adam Clarke:

In the Jewish constitutions there are some things not only curious, but useful, respecting marriage. “There are four causes which induce men to marry:
1. Impure desire;
2. To get riches;
3. To become honorable;
4. For the glory of God.
Those who marry through the first motive beget wicked and rebellious children. Those who marry for the sake of riches have the curse of leaving them to others. Those who marry for the sake of aggrandizing their family, their families shall be diminished. Those who marry to promote the glory of God, their children shall be holy, and by them shall the true Church be increased.”
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I would suggest that the last motive is THE motive for marriage. I am not suggesting that one ignore romance, love, etc... but when everything is said and done, "whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31)."

What saith you?
 
I would question the validity of Mr. Clarke's #1. There is desire that is not impure and should not be expected to produce such negative results. I would also assume that all the results he mentions are generalities, for no one may be sure how their children will respond. There are many Biblical cases of ungodly parents that produced godly children and godly parents that produced ungodly children.
I would like to think, if #4 were our guiding desire for all things, we would have better success, even though our motive for marriage were one of the first three.
 
John Whitten said:
I would question the validity of Mr. Clarke's #1. There is desire that is not impure and should not be expected to produce such negative results. I would also assume that all the results he mentions are generalities, for no one may be sure how their children will respond. There are many Biblical cases of ungodly parents that produced godly children and godly parents that produced ungodly children.
I would like to think, if #4 were our guiding desire for all things, we would have better success, even though our motive for marriage were one of the first three.
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Hi John,

Well, it should be noted that Clarke is actually quoting the "Jewish Constitutions." With that said, yes, these are simple generalities, for sure. I would also agree with you about this false doctrine in the church that misuses a passage in the Bible "guaranteeing" godly children (Proverbs 22:6). I also agree that the more we do for the pure glory of God, the more true success we will experience, even if the world or other believers do not understand it.
 
1. too black and white.
as humans, we are impure and even our best motivations will never be completely pure this side of glory.
which rules out #4 as a stand-alone reason :lol:

adam was created with the feminine within him. it was taken out of him to become eve. with whom he became, again, one.

ever here of the phrase "my better half"? we are incomplete w/out them and we intrinsically know it. we marry them because we know that we are not whole w/out them.
 
Steve, That femine side stuff is not sufficiently validated in scripture. Polygynists would be unbalanced on the femine side..... hmmm. Maybe you've got something.
 
steve said:
1. too black and white.
as humans, we are impure and even our best motivations will never be completely pure this side of glory.
which rules out #4 as a stand-alone reason :lol:

adam was created with the feminine within him. it was taken out of him to become eve. with whom he became, again, one.

ever here of the phrase "my better half"? we are incomplete w/out them and we intrinsically know it. we marry them because we know that we are not whole w/out them.
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No doubt are motives are a mixed bag. This is why Scripture admonishes to do everything for the His glory.
 
John Whitten said:
Steve, That femine side stuff is not sufficiently validated in scripture. Polygynists would be unbalanced on the femine side..... hmmm. Maybe you've got something.
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Now, this certainly caused my mind to go into some strange directions...lol

For example, is this why some men need many wives - in order to balance out their high testosterone?
 
Polygynists would be unbalanced on the femine side.
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Aren't we all just a bit unbalanced? :lol:
It might take Solomon's harem to balance some of us... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Seriously, I agree that we, as humans, can never have pure motives this side of Heaven. Our motives will be mixed no matter how much we might desire otherwise.
Jeremiah 17:9 NKJV The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?
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We should strive for motive # 4 in all things, not just marriage.
 
Lol.... Solomon's harem huh? Well, that leaves me out.

I do agree that our hearts are extremely deceitful, but because of the influence of the Holy Spirit, we are constanly being led into the direction of doing all things for His glory. Without His help - we are helpless!
 
I concur that the motives for marriage should be to glorify God. That's the only way it will work!

steve said:
adam was created with the feminine within him. it was taken out of him to become eve. with whom he became, again, one.

ever here of the phrase "my better half"? we are incomplete w/out them and we intrinsically know it. we marry them because we know that we are not whole w/out them.
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I agree with you completely! I believe that Eve was taken out of Adam literally! Scripture to be back this up "Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created." Gen 5:2

As for polygamy, one can view it as a man with many wives, having work to complete on this Earth through many vessels. The feminine side being the creative force! Not to say, that a man needs a woman to create, because we all have a masculine and feminine side!
 
nicola said:
I concur that the motives for marriage should be to glorify God. That's the only way it will work!
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I can't necessarily agree with this statement. Many , many, many people enter into marriage with their motives NOT being to glorify God. However they are successful marriages. MOST people view a successful marriage to be a marriage that does not end in divorce but with the the lives of the couple.

I know a couple that married because they loved each other, they have been married 75 years. HOW many people can say that? Yes I believe their marriage does glorify God because they are Christians, they model Godly love and submission to each other. They are a very biblical marriage. However I know for a fact that when they married glorifying God was the furthest thing from their minds. They were not even saved at the time.

God drew them to him at a later time and they grew together in the faith.
 
Nikismom said:
nicola said:
I concur that the motives for marriage should be to glorify God. That's the only way it will work!
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I can't necessarily agree with this statement. Many , many, many people enter into marriage with their motives NOT being to glorify God. However they are successful marriages. MOST people view a successful marriage to be a marriage that does not end in divorce but with the the lives of the couple.
.
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I don't. A long unhappy marriage is no more successful than one that ends in divorce.
I happen to know of some very miserable marriages which lasted and still continue, for a very long time.

Some rather destructive ones as well.

No, to me a successful marriage is one in which, after 10,20, 50, 75 years together, the partners in question still love and want to be together.

B
 
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