GeneKennedy
New Member
It strikes me odd sometimes how God can take the most ordinary things, and teach you the most extraordinary lessons. Today was no different, as I took my son on a bike ride to the park. Keeping in mind that I have not spent a lot of time this year teaching my son how to ride his bike, and because of his age and we are worrisome parents we do not let him out all by himself where we live.
But today, I, as his father, was going to teach him how to ride his bike better. But little known to me my father "God" was going to teach me an even bigger lesson about myself. My son and I started out our day biking to the nearest gas station and filling up his bike tires. My son did pretty well riding down and back up again, and then we headed to the park to meet his sisters and mom. After getting there, my son played for about an hour and a half and then it was time to go home, it was on his bike ride back that I got my greatest lesson of the day.
Please keep in mind, my son is a seven-year-old boy, riding his first bike, still with training wheels, but lifted all the way up. And because they were lifted all the way up, when he leaned on them for support it got him off balance, and his rear wheel would just spin. Now, it might seem to us like it's not a big deal, but to him he felt like he was failing, and felt like the simple task that he saw his friends doing he was unable to do on his bike. His only desire was to ride his bike home, and during the entire trip he himself continued to think what was he doing was wrong and nothing was right.
A couple of things that put my son in tears, frustrated him:
1. He tried to listen,but still his focus was on what he was doing wrong and how it was not working, versus talking to his father and getting pointers along the way
2. He did not think he was going fast enough, or doing well enough
3. Sometimes he would consider my fatherly encouragement as disapproval in his attempts to successfully ride his bike.
4. And he seemed to believe that because he did not ride his bike successfully, I was upset with him or disappointed in his performance.
How does that all apply to polygyny? Specifically it does not, but what it does apply to is how we deal with things like polygyny that are difficult because we've have not delt with it or on a very limited basis or just beginning to understand how it works. I hear and see from so many people that are just coming to an understanding of polygyny, or are for the first time beginning in life as a polygynist with a new sister wife and new experiences.
And sometimes we do the most foolish things just like a child riding a bike trying to listen to what the father said, but sometimes believing it's impossible because they have not practiced enough or become familiar with what the father is asking to do. I see people give up because their wheels are spinning, they're falling down, or they think they're not going as fast as they think they should and they also sometimes believe that they're letting there father down because, they feel they are not doing it as successfully as they think they should.
I will say that as a father, I was not frustrated with my son nor was I disappointed in what he accomplished today. But as a father I did know how far my son could go and when it was time to step in. And though I knew I could step in and make the adjustments to his bike so the ride would be easier for him, as a father I knew that the struggle would make him a better bike rider and it would also have additional abilities to prepare him for things in life other than bike riding.
From the outside other people may have thought I was being mean to my son. And even my son may have thought that I was not helping him like I should, but because I am his father and see things that he does not see, and know things he does not know, I didn't intervene. The trials that I put him through was an act of compassion and love. And I was willing to have my son and other people think whatever they wanted because I knew the long-term goals for my child.
For those of us either entering into an understanding of polygyny or entering into a lifestyle of polygyny I know firsthand the struggles, the tears and the thoughts that God has abandoned you from time to time, but know this, that the struggles that we go through in retrospect are like God teaching us to ride a bike. It may be difficult at the start, but God will use those lessons more than we could ever know at this moment in time.
So to you believers out there keep listening to your Father, know that he loves you, and has your best interests in mind. And remember to just keep pedaling.
But today, I, as his father, was going to teach him how to ride his bike better. But little known to me my father "God" was going to teach me an even bigger lesson about myself. My son and I started out our day biking to the nearest gas station and filling up his bike tires. My son did pretty well riding down and back up again, and then we headed to the park to meet his sisters and mom. After getting there, my son played for about an hour and a half and then it was time to go home, it was on his bike ride back that I got my greatest lesson of the day.
Please keep in mind, my son is a seven-year-old boy, riding his first bike, still with training wheels, but lifted all the way up. And because they were lifted all the way up, when he leaned on them for support it got him off balance, and his rear wheel would just spin. Now, it might seem to us like it's not a big deal, but to him he felt like he was failing, and felt like the simple task that he saw his friends doing he was unable to do on his bike. His only desire was to ride his bike home, and during the entire trip he himself continued to think what was he doing was wrong and nothing was right.
A couple of things that put my son in tears, frustrated him:
1. He tried to listen,but still his focus was on what he was doing wrong and how it was not working, versus talking to his father and getting pointers along the way
2. He did not think he was going fast enough, or doing well enough
3. Sometimes he would consider my fatherly encouragement as disapproval in his attempts to successfully ride his bike.
4. And he seemed to believe that because he did not ride his bike successfully, I was upset with him or disappointed in his performance.
How does that all apply to polygyny? Specifically it does not, but what it does apply to is how we deal with things like polygyny that are difficult because we've have not delt with it or on a very limited basis or just beginning to understand how it works. I hear and see from so many people that are just coming to an understanding of polygyny, or are for the first time beginning in life as a polygynist with a new sister wife and new experiences.
And sometimes we do the most foolish things just like a child riding a bike trying to listen to what the father said, but sometimes believing it's impossible because they have not practiced enough or become familiar with what the father is asking to do. I see people give up because their wheels are spinning, they're falling down, or they think they're not going as fast as they think they should and they also sometimes believe that they're letting there father down because, they feel they are not doing it as successfully as they think they should.
I will say that as a father, I was not frustrated with my son nor was I disappointed in what he accomplished today. But as a father I did know how far my son could go and when it was time to step in. And though I knew I could step in and make the adjustments to his bike so the ride would be easier for him, as a father I knew that the struggle would make him a better bike rider and it would also have additional abilities to prepare him for things in life other than bike riding.
From the outside other people may have thought I was being mean to my son. And even my son may have thought that I was not helping him like I should, but because I am his father and see things that he does not see, and know things he does not know, I didn't intervene. The trials that I put him through was an act of compassion and love. And I was willing to have my son and other people think whatever they wanted because I knew the long-term goals for my child.
For those of us either entering into an understanding of polygyny or entering into a lifestyle of polygyny I know firsthand the struggles, the tears and the thoughts that God has abandoned you from time to time, but know this, that the struggles that we go through in retrospect are like God teaching us to ride a bike. It may be difficult at the start, but God will use those lessons more than we could ever know at this moment in time.
So to you believers out there keep listening to your Father, know that he loves you, and has your best interests in mind. And remember to just keep pedaling.
