*Ladies* I need your insight

[SavedByGrace559]

I'm trying to cover all of my basis and gather as much information and this site seems ideal for helping us along our journey for finding a 2nd wife to share our lives with. One question I have is regarding how complicated it must be to approach a woman that we have an interest in who most likely has never been exposed to a culture of multiple marriages. I have discussed this with my wife and it seems like this will be a huge hurddle to overcome. I don't want to be misleading in anyway about my intentions or beliefs but I can't imagine walking up to a woman whether I know her personally or not and telling her something like, "I would like to get to know you better. You see, I am a married man and my wife and I decided to seek out a second wife." - how do you drop a bombshell like that on a woman of interest and when is the right time to tell her? I want a relationship strongly founded on trust and I would not feel very forthcoming if I did not open up about the situation on the first date - But could not begin to envision a positive outcome if a woman hears that on a first date. I really would appreciate any insight or suggestions with this from the women who are in multiple marriage or who have considered it and may have some insight as to the best way to approach a woman about this. Thank you.

 

[SavedByGrace559]

Thank you for the suggestion. We will look into that.

 

[Anonymous]

I want a relationship strongly founded on trust and I would not feel very forthcoming if I did not open up about the situation on the first date - But could not begin to envision a positive outcome if a woman hears that on a first date. I really would appreciate any insight or suggestions with this from the women who are in multiple marriage or who have considered it and may have some insight as to the best way to approach a woman about this. Thank you.

I think one of the best ways to avoid this problem is to search for a 2nd wife in areas and forums where poly friendly women gather. http://www.soulfulharmony.com or just take the time to get to know some of the women here on BF. There are also a few others sites, as well.
I think being upfront at the beginning is a good idea. I had a couple hold back some information on me and when I found out, I was angry. I am poly friendly but there were other issues that they held back that if I had known at the beginning would have excluded them from consideration. I did not appreciate the subterfuge. Bottom line....be honest and upfront. If God is truly in it, then He will work it out.
One thing you could do is try to find out her opinion of polygyny, in general, without yet revealing your own personal interest in it. If she's hostile to the general idea, then don't pursue her further. But I still think going to where poly friendly women congregate is the best idea.
Blessings,
Fairlight

 

[Tali]

I would also suggest that you contact the Duke of Marshall, one of the Admin guys for this site. He met his bride online and "went there" re: poly early on.

The train wrecks are commensurate with a lack of honesty, has been my observation, and God will give wisdom liberally as you seek Him for strategy.

 

[SavedByGrace559]

Thank you for the responses - very good advice here. Also, Soulofharmony looks like a pretty good lead, we have made a profile there.