PolyPride
Member
Fact #1: A lot of people tend to object to women being in polygamy because of the jealousies that the women will encounter.
Fact #2: From what I've read and watched (like on Sister Wives and other documentaries), some wives in polygamy want their marriage to have more than 2 people because they want extra companionship. They basically want or prefer to share their marriage with someone else they find to be a good companion and want the companionship to go beyond friendship but go as far as sharing a husband.
Now if fact #1 was the only reason or point that could be offered for being for or against polygamy, then I'd agree with anti-polygamists. Since all there is to polygamy is jealousy, then all women stay out of polygamy.
But what about fact #2 that the conclusion drawn from Fact #1 doesn't factor in? Sure there's jealousy but the women still have a wanting for polygamy. Pro-polygamists can also draw a one-sided conclusion and ignore Fact #1, for example, some women prefer a 3 or more person marriage or feel unsatisfied with a monogamous marriage, therefore these wives should stay in polygamy. How does this help to factor in and resolve Fact #1?
I'm sure it would be typical of some of the people on each side to just ignore Fact #1 and #2 if it goes against their position but taking a more moderate ground I believe conclusions can be drawn that don't have to involve banning polygamy altogether.
My simple conclusions:
First conclusion:
A wife who wants/prefers and CHOSE a polygamous relationship can stay in polygamy despite her jealousy, and of course finds ways to resolve her jealousy by changing her standards, discarding monogamy ONLY cultural paradigms, and learning to accept her other wives, etc. Professional counseling should also be sought if family can't resolve the jealousy on their own. To a pro-polygamists, some of these solutions would seem like common sense.
Second conclusion:
If a wife can't resolve her jealousies and even with professional help (all there is in the relationship is constant jealousy and fighting and no room for happiness and love) then the wife should leave the relationship if she chooses to.
Brief note on my 1st conclusion..
*For the overcoming jealousy in multiple partner settings, I haven't read about any 'formal' therapy programs but I have read about people who already are in the state to where they have little to no jealousy in multiple part relationships, examples, swingers, older wives in polygamy and all around that same old age (maybe don't care as much for the sex and are in it more for the companionships between wives?). Theoretically why can't a person who have jealousy resolve their jealousy the same way psychologists resolve jealousy in monogamous relationships? Or why can't anyone change their behavior (Cognitive Behavorial Therapy, psychoanalysis of insecurities, etc.) until they resolve their jealousies to where they can function good in polygamous relationship or even swinging (not to say that swinging is right) just like swingers and others who don't have jealousy problems? I think it's possible even if there's a lack of psychologists out there who has no therapy or counseling program for it and maybe that's just for now or until polygamy is decriminalized. I also believe it's possible since the triggers of jealousy aren't only biological, jealousy is also a product of social conditioning (culture, upbrining, personal beliefs, etc.), as well.
Are my conclusions okay are they any others that factor in Facts #1 and 2?
Fact #2: From what I've read and watched (like on Sister Wives and other documentaries), some wives in polygamy want their marriage to have more than 2 people because they want extra companionship. They basically want or prefer to share their marriage with someone else they find to be a good companion and want the companionship to go beyond friendship but go as far as sharing a husband.
Now if fact #1 was the only reason or point that could be offered for being for or against polygamy, then I'd agree with anti-polygamists. Since all there is to polygamy is jealousy, then all women stay out of polygamy.
But what about fact #2 that the conclusion drawn from Fact #1 doesn't factor in? Sure there's jealousy but the women still have a wanting for polygamy. Pro-polygamists can also draw a one-sided conclusion and ignore Fact #1, for example, some women prefer a 3 or more person marriage or feel unsatisfied with a monogamous marriage, therefore these wives should stay in polygamy. How does this help to factor in and resolve Fact #1?
I'm sure it would be typical of some of the people on each side to just ignore Fact #1 and #2 if it goes against their position but taking a more moderate ground I believe conclusions can be drawn that don't have to involve banning polygamy altogether.
My simple conclusions:
First conclusion:
A wife who wants/prefers and CHOSE a polygamous relationship can stay in polygamy despite her jealousy, and of course finds ways to resolve her jealousy by changing her standards, discarding monogamy ONLY cultural paradigms, and learning to accept her other wives, etc. Professional counseling should also be sought if family can't resolve the jealousy on their own. To a pro-polygamists, some of these solutions would seem like common sense.
Second conclusion:
If a wife can't resolve her jealousies and even with professional help (all there is in the relationship is constant jealousy and fighting and no room for happiness and love) then the wife should leave the relationship if she chooses to.
Brief note on my 1st conclusion..
*For the overcoming jealousy in multiple partner settings, I haven't read about any 'formal' therapy programs but I have read about people who already are in the state to where they have little to no jealousy in multiple part relationships, examples, swingers, older wives in polygamy and all around that same old age (maybe don't care as much for the sex and are in it more for the companionships between wives?). Theoretically why can't a person who have jealousy resolve their jealousy the same way psychologists resolve jealousy in monogamous relationships? Or why can't anyone change their behavior (Cognitive Behavorial Therapy, psychoanalysis of insecurities, etc.) until they resolve their jealousies to where they can function good in polygamous relationship or even swinging (not to say that swinging is right) just like swingers and others who don't have jealousy problems? I think it's possible even if there's a lack of psychologists out there who has no therapy or counseling program for it and maybe that's just for now or until polygamy is decriminalized. I also believe it's possible since the triggers of jealousy aren't only biological, jealousy is also a product of social conditioning (culture, upbrining, personal beliefs, etc.), as well.
Are my conclusions okay are they any others that factor in Facts #1 and 2?
