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Jail Time
- Thread starter Doc
- Start date
Not jail time here. It's not illegal unless you get a marriage licence. My biggest concern is that CYFS (child youth and family) in NZ would just decide that this isn't a great family to be raising kids in and find a way to take them off us. There is no one to hold them to account, they do what they like.
I'm concerned something like this is going to happen in your book Doc!
I'm concerned something like this is going to happen in your book Doc!
But this is a realistic fear for those living in some states in America, correct? Other countries may have different laws too, I'm not sure of the laws of every country 
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I've observed this for a number of years and have reached personal conclusions.
If you have an orderly, well maintained family, where everyone is well fed, decently (and in some places "warmly") clothed, the kids are getting lots of appropriate love, and are showing signs of being educated at or above their expected grade level, and finally that family discipline is not seen as inappropriate, you have no cause to worry. What do they care who all lives at your house and/or what names you call each other?
I've seen CFS PLACE foster kids and, in one case, an adoption into a PM home in a state where even ADVOCATING PM is technically a felony.
I know of another case where a single mom married into a family, and her ex got furious and took her to court to get the kids. She showed up in court with her WHOLE family, i.e. new hubby and his "first" wife. They made no secret of who and what they were. They showed that the kids were well loved and provided for, and they PREVAILED.
In another case, a man moved into a large home on a hill on the edge of town with his 4 wives and 7 children. Not long after, he had occasion to speak with a local police officer, who calmly said, "We know who you are, and what is going on up there. Couldn't care less, so long as y'all keep things calm. But y'all get rowdy and noisy and we start getting complaints of domestic disturbance, we'll treat you like anyone else. No special dispensations, either." Seemed fair enough.
My personal conclusion: Fear comes from the devil, not from God. Sinners run when no-one pursues. If you know you are not in the latter class, and that you are handling your family in such a way that it could handle SCF scrutiny without PM in the mix, then there is no true need to worry about the addition of PM to that mix.
To me, a more valid concern would be how to gracefully answer prying questions that SCF might ask regarding the PM aspect, such as how you handle sleeping arrangements and sex?
The truth is that the answers are no more their business than in a mono family. In the latter, is it of any importance whether Mom & Dad share a bed, have two separate beds, or even separate bedrooms? No. What they need to know is that you are NOT engaging in inappropriate activity, or playing inappropriate videos, etc. in front of the children. An answer as to the health of your sex life (Good, wonderful, infrequent, what's sex?) may be an appropriate indicator as to the health of the marriage, but that's about it.
Seems easy enough to adjust those to the PM setting.
*shrug* my 2 cents.
If you have an orderly, well maintained family, where everyone is well fed, decently (and in some places "warmly") clothed, the kids are getting lots of appropriate love, and are showing signs of being educated at or above their expected grade level, and finally that family discipline is not seen as inappropriate, you have no cause to worry. What do they care who all lives at your house and/or what names you call each other?
I've seen CFS PLACE foster kids and, in one case, an adoption into a PM home in a state where even ADVOCATING PM is technically a felony.
I know of another case where a single mom married into a family, and her ex got furious and took her to court to get the kids. She showed up in court with her WHOLE family, i.e. new hubby and his "first" wife. They made no secret of who and what they were. They showed that the kids were well loved and provided for, and they PREVAILED.
In another case, a man moved into a large home on a hill on the edge of town with his 4 wives and 7 children. Not long after, he had occasion to speak with a local police officer, who calmly said, "We know who you are, and what is going on up there. Couldn't care less, so long as y'all keep things calm. But y'all get rowdy and noisy and we start getting complaints of domestic disturbance, we'll treat you like anyone else. No special dispensations, either." Seemed fair enough.
My personal conclusion: Fear comes from the devil, not from God. Sinners run when no-one pursues. If you know you are not in the latter class, and that you are handling your family in such a way that it could handle SCF scrutiny without PM in the mix, then there is no true need to worry about the addition of PM to that mix.
To me, a more valid concern would be how to gracefully answer prying questions that SCF might ask regarding the PM aspect, such as how you handle sleeping arrangements and sex?
The truth is that the answers are no more their business than in a mono family. In the latter, is it of any importance whether Mom & Dad share a bed, have two separate beds, or even separate bedrooms? No. What they need to know is that you are NOT engaging in inappropriate activity, or playing inappropriate videos, etc. in front of the children. An answer as to the health of your sex life (Good, wonderful, infrequent, what's sex?) may be an appropriate indicator as to the health of the marriage, but that's about it.
Seems easy enough to adjust those to the PM setting.
*shrug* my 2 cents.
We were fine until someone set fire to our house. Then again we were in a very small town with people who also had very small minds. Our children were taken and we lost them due to our belief in PM. Then they tried to have me arrested for PM, but the Judge dismissed all the charges. We were about to get our children back and once again a counselor stated that our belief in PM put our children at risk. They brought up Jeffs (of course) even when we said we were Jew and not Mormon. Then they said that all polygamist married off their children to old men at 12yrs old. We said we didn't believe in that and had witnesses, but they did not care. In the end they just kept making excuses for our children not too see us and after 6 months they stated that since we didn't see them the child parent bond had been broken and our children now seen this family as their mother and father. Ultimately making us lose our parental rights. I find it amazing how even after they tried everything and we triumphed every time we still lost our children due to a technicality. Even the judge said it was disturbing, but she had to follow the law that states once a child hasn't seen their parents for at least 6months the bond is broken. Not letting my children testify once as to where they wanted to be, but letting the foster parents (who are adopting them now) speak for them. Believe me if they want to they can come for you. It just really depends on where you are and the mentality of the place.